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wramsey30 · #1 05-24-2009, 06:49 PM

Hello my boyfriend is in Northeast Correctional facilty and I just got a one time special visit with him on Saturday May 23, 09. It may be the only time i ever get to see him again.. It broke my heart into pieces to walk back out into freedom without him. We have only been excusively seeing each other since May 7, 09. He doesnt go up for his first parole hearing until nov of 2010. My question is does it get any easier? I have cried for two days now and he is trying to get me on the perm visitation list but it is very doubtful because i am a felon as well...Please if anyone has any comforting words i would greatly appreciate it..Thank you so much

papisgirl · #2 05-24-2009, 07:39 PM

Oh sister solider my heart goes out to you. The power of a visitation does both the inmate and loved one so much good. I have not been able to visit Papi since 7/07(well once when he had his parole hearing 1/09) before than i never missed a visit went both days and always moved close to the prison he was at.

Does it get easier with time ....it depends on how you handle it...I have my good days and than I have my days that my soul yearns just to look in his eyes.

You just learn to be creative in your letters...whether it be a date night in every sat night letter...reading books together and discussing them in your letters....just getting to know more about each other, no matter how many years you can always learn more.

Stay rooted...

wramsey30 · #3 05-24-2009, 07:44 PM

Thank you for responding i had acutally thought about writing to my man and acting like he hasnt been in prison and saying things like Well i really enjoyed our date on such and such date and making up a date that we could eventually go on...I miss him so bad and have cried for two days now. I may never be able to see him again but i do know that i love him unlike i have loved anyone else and if anyone had ever told me that i would feel this way about someone incarcerated i would have said they were crazy....!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But guess what i love the man that is incarcerated more than i have ever loved anyone...please keep me and my man in your prayers and thoughts. Thank you

papisgirl · #4 05-24-2009, 07:46 PM

WELCOME TO MY WORLD...Lmao

wheelergirl · #5 05-24-2009, 09:57 PM

I feel your pain and understand exactly what you are going through. Hold onto what you have tightly and as long as you write letters and are able to get calls when you can; you can make it through this. I know that when I write to Jeff I talk with him as if he were here at home with me. I tell him about my day and if it's been good or bad just like I would if he were here with me and the family. I also just wrote him a letter about the things we would be doing if he were home with me in our room.(if you know what I mean)hahaha!! His reaction was great and he loved it!! We also do crosswords together. I print them out on the puter and send copies to him and we sit and do the same one on the phone. The book thing is good also because it gives you both something else to concentrate on rather than the situaiton at hand, even if it's just for a little while. Stay strong and I will keep you both in my prayers and believe me there isn't a better bunch of women that you could lean on. Stay strong sister you are not alone!

Waitin_4_J · #6 05-24-2009, 10:04 PM

What the others have posted is all true. I am not able to visit my man either and haven't seen him in about 3 years now. Except for 2 parole hearings. But, it can be done. Letters and phone calls are sooo important. Keeping in touch through daily letters has made this a little easier for me and Jason. When all this first happened I could not even comprehend not seeing him for such a long time, but if you take it one day at a time you can do this. And, who knows, miracles do happen, and I know several people with felonies that are approved to visit at NECX. Hang in there and don't give up.

papisgirl · #7 05-24-2009, 10:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Waitin_4_J

Hang in there and don't give up.

Just good to see you back Waitin_4_J

wramsey30 · #8 05-25-2009, 11:43 AM

Thank you for your take on this. I miss my man so much and I think your idea of the crossword is wonderful. And I actually write him about the bedroom all of the time and I send him sexy pics when I can which he absolutely thrives on. I never thought I would love someone this much and miss them so bad. Please do keep us in your prayers as we will do the same for you. Smokeys Girl

Quote:

Originally Posted by wheelergirl

I feel your pain and understand exactly what you are going through. Hold onto what you have tightly and as long as you write letters and are able to get calls when you can; you can make it through this. I know that when I write to Jeff I talk with him as if he were here at home with me. I tell him about my day and if it's been good or bad just like I would if he were here with me and the family. I also just wrote him a letter about the things we would be doing if he were home with me in our room.(if you know what I mean)hahaha!! His reaction was great and he loved it!! We also do crosswords together. I print them out on the puter and send copies to him and we sit and do the same one on the phone. The book thing is good also because it gives you both something else to concentrate on rather than the situaiton at hand, even if it's just for a little while. Stay strong and I will keep you both in my prayers and believe me there isn't a better bunch of women that you could lean on. Stay strong sister you are not alone!

NotherWife2 · #9 05-25-2009, 01:02 PM

Think of you often Waitin. :-) to know you are alright !!

MissMont · #10 05-25-2009, 10:28 PM

Oh Miss Lady! How I feel your pain! My baby is there too. He doesn't have visits again until September. I miss him tremendously. He was just moved there the beginning of this month. Things do get better. At least every once in a while.

I know there is not really too much anyone can say to make you feel better. The letters and phone calls help a little. That place gets stressful on those guys, so for him, hold yourself together. If you ever need to talk, you have someone right here that knows what you are feeling. So, feel free to hit me up.

superdreamATM · #11 05-27-2009, 08:37 AM

Yes it does get easier. I'm not saying you will LIKE being apart from your loved one, but you manage. When we talk on the phone, its like he's there. I tell him about dumb stuff like "the dog peed on the coffee table again!" or "where did you put the charger for your drill battery?" When people get newspapers he pulls out the ads and we "shop" together. He reads through the ad and we talk about a cool tv or kitchen appliances he sees on sale. Or we watch the same tv show then talk about it later. Anything to make a connection no matter how small, it really helps.

Odd Mushroom · #12 05-27-2009, 05:34 PM

or you play dueling Guitar Hero!!!!

wheelergirl · #13 05-27-2009, 07:36 PM

Hey girl......be strong and it will get better. Look at it this way cause sometimes it helps me to deal with the separation. Every night that you go to bed say a prayer and thank God that you and your loved one made it through one more day and in the morning wake up and thank God because you are one day closer to him coming home. Your love will be tested and it will seem like it's going to be forever but as long as you hold onto what you have it will get stronger!! Keep your chin up and if you need me you can always pm me.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wramsey30

Thank you for your take on this. I miss my man so much and I think your idea of the crossword is wonderful. And I actually write him about the bedroom all of the time and I send him sexy pics when I can which he absolutely thrives on. I never thought I would love someone this much and miss them so bad. Please do keep us in your prayers as we will do the same for you. Smokeys Girl

NotherWife2 · #14 05-27-2009, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wheelergirl

Hey girl......be strong and it will get better. Look at it this way cause sometimes it helps me to deal with the separation. Every night that you go to bed say a prayer and thank God that you and your loved one made it through one more day and in the morning wake up and thank God because you are one day closer to him coming home. Your love will be tested and it will seem like it's going to be forever but as long as you hold onto what you have it will get stronger!! Keep your chin up and if you need me you can always pm me.

AMEN, no words more TRUE !!!!

tina4318 · #15 05-27-2009, 08:36 PM

I am so sorry, I did not realize that a felony would prevent one from seeing thier loved one. I know it is difficult but take it one day at a time, make up your mind not to be miserable and make the best of things.

superdreamATM · #16 05-28-2009, 08:25 AM

Write as much as you can, talk on the phone as much as you can. Our inmates seem to come to appreciate the little things in life because they KNOW you are thinking of them. If you're lucky like Papisgirl, you will get lots of letters in return... (I'm so envious!)

Smokeys Girl · #17 05-28-2009, 11:13 AM

Having a felony does not always prohibit one from seeing their loved on but being seen as only a friend by the prison system and not being seen as his girlfriend or wife and having a felony does usually prohibit it. But I know that God will show favor on us and we will be okay..