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Jayswifey08 · #1 09-23-2009, 10:34 PM

I just recently read a thread that got me in my feelings. I don't want to offend anyone by this but I do feel it to let it be known how how I truly feel. "I want to be his first" are you serious? I don't know about you but I truly feel that for the most of us that being his first once he is realease is irrevelant. I came (like most of us) to this website for comfort, assurance, and to know that I am not the only going through a love one being locked down. I dont care if you're a MWI or you knew him on the streets if you found this website it was becasue you truly love and have geniune concerns and questions. Tonight my man called me 10 minutes late and I was scared. You might ask why, well because behind those walls there is no telling what might pop off. My man told me that people starting fighting over the TV, and he was unable to get to the phones and you're worries about being his first. I come here for suppoort and guess what I've found it. Can I ask you a question why are you here? Prison is no joke and neither is being on the other end, constatnly worrying about your loved one. I love my man and this is the only place where I feel like someone understands how difficult it is. Yes, I do understand your sexul desires we all have them and yes we post our questions, but at the end of the day lets not forget why we really found this website. And thank you for all the people who can post their concerns and questions without those I dont know where I would be. I thank God every night and day for my husbands well-being and safety. Only the strong makes it in prison and only the strongest will stand by the ones they love while their in prison....Prison is no joke...Stay Strong

Caroline.Daniel · #2 09-23-2009, 10:43 PM

I had read the same post, to be honest sex is the last thing on my mind. I worry about his safety more then anything.

sw33tness052709 · #3 09-23-2009, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayswifey08

I just recently read a thread that got me in my feelings. I don't want to offend anyone by this but I do feel it to let it be known how how I truly feel. "I want to be his first" are you serious? I don't know about you but I truly feel that for the most of us that being his first once he is realease is irrevelant. I came (like most of us) to this website for comfort, assurance, and to know that I am not the only going through a love one being locked down. I dont care if you're a MWI or you knew him on the streets if you found this website it was becasue you truly love and have geniune concerns and questions. Tonight my man called me 10 minutes late and I was scared. You might ask why, well because behind those walls there is no telling what might pop off. My man told me that people starting fighting over the TV, and he was unable to get to the phones and you're worries about being his first. I come here for suppoort and guess what I've found it. Can I ask you a question why are you here? Prison is no joke and neither is being on the other end, constatnly worrying about your loved one. I love my man and this is the only place where I feel like someone understands how difficult it is. Yes, I do understand your sexul desires we all have them and yes we post our questions, but at the end of the day lets not forget why we really found this website. And thank you for all the people who can post their concerns and questions without those I dont know where I would be. I thank God every night and day for my husbands well-being and safety. Only the strong makes it in prison and only the strongest will stand by the ones they love while their in prison....Prison is no joke...Stay Strong

i completly agree with you.there is so much more we have to worry about than that.

Luv4My3Boyz · #4 09-23-2009, 10:50 PM

well, if you are referring to the post I think ur referring to, she's very young and met him through a someone else. She only talked to him for a while, but it was always sexual and violent. I think their whole relationship was based on sex... they talked about it, wrote about it...etc. I don't think I even took the time to reply to her thread it was so ridiculous, (could be wrong).
Anyone who truly loves their man wouldn't make a thread like that! We care about their safety, if they have enough to eat, if they have enough stamps and paper, etc. We worry and care about them...not so much ourselves!

HisHeart31 · #5 09-23-2009, 10:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jayswifey08

I just recently read a thread that got me in my feelings. I don't want to offend anyone by this but I do feel it to let it be known how how I truly feel. "I want to be his first" are you serious? I don't know about you but I truly feel that for the most of us that being his first once he is realease is irrevelant. I came (like most of us) to this website for comfort, assurance, and to know that I am not the only going through a love one being locked down. I dont care if you're a MWI or you knew him on the streets if you found this website it was becasue you truly love and have geniune concerns and questions. Tonight my man called me 10 minutes late and I was scared. You might ask why, well because behind those walls there is no telling what might pop off. My man told me that people starting fighting over the TV, and he was unable to get to the phones and you're worries about being his first. I come here for suppoort and guess what I've found it. Can I ask you a question why are you here? Prison is no joke and neither is being on the other end, constatnly worrying about your loved one. I love my man and this is the only place where I feel like someone understands how difficult it is. Yes, I do understand your sexul desires we all have them and yes we post our questions, but at the end of the day lets not forget why we really found this website. And thank you for all the people who can post their concerns and questions without those I dont know where I would be. I thank God every night and day for my husbands well-being and safety. Only the strong makes it in prison and only the strongest will stand by the ones they love while their in prison....Prison is no joke...Stay Strong

I agree! Everyday I worry about him, I thank god that he truly doesn't run his mouth and act all tough anymore (like he did back on the street) because now we have too much to lose if he does that. (our trailors & yard visits etc.) When he doesn't call me when he says he will I get so nervous & pretty much watch the clock!
Luckily, my man wont do anything to jepordize the only time we get to spend together. So I agree.. im not worried about that silly stuff. My main concerns are does he have enough food for the month, does he need anything, and most importantly is he going to be safe today!

Mommy4Two · #6 09-23-2009, 10:58 PM

Well, I want to respond... But I'm not sure if you're looking for a pat on the back for your dislike of the thread or if you really just wanted to vent... The first thing that comes to mind is this: How long has he been gone and how much longer does he have?

I know I've been doing this for 3 1/2 years (baby years compared to most) with about 3 1/2 more months to go... I love my husband and yes I worry for him, but when I think about him coming home my mind always wonders to sex and making love at some point or another! Yep, I'm excited to have him home and doing the normal day to day things, but 3 1/2 years of being TRULY FAITHFUL takes a toll on a girl!

And no, it's not my main concern, but it's in my mind... I am concerned for his safety and I agree that prison is serious, but it shouldn't get you upset to see other members with different concerns... Who knows, maybe it was a new relationship and they never had sex, so yes, his homecoming and being his first would be a huge deal... Or what if someone got married while incarcerated and they were going to consummate their marriage, of course that's exciting and something to post about... IMO, those posts contribute just as much as the rest of 'em!

I love your passion for your man, but there comes a point when you gotta relax! It may have been a thread about sex that got you going, but if you'll look around PTO it's full of happy, fulfilled individuals... On almost every single thread someone is posting a

or

!!! Once you get over the anxiety of having a loved one in prison and you've gotten all the information you can, there comes a point where you do come to PTO to do a little chatting and gossiping with the girls! Look around and you'll see it truly is a community. There are ups and downs and threads get heated and people need shoulders to cry on and an ear to hear the sad story from home or even an ear to hear this dirty, little raunchy joke you heard at work... Each post may not be your cup of tea, but that doesn't mean it's not just as important to its OP as your post is to you... This one took me by surprise, for instance, but I got nothing but love for ya! PTO is a truly well rounded place and you gotta learn to accept it all if you truly wanna get the most out of it! There's even a place for "taking a break" and forgetting about prison for a while and an arcade where you can go and play games and kick *ss!!! Each state even has a "lounge" where you can't even post prison stuff!!! IMO, that makes PTO the sh**!

So, you may not agree the post was relevant, and that's ok, but all you have to do is hit the back button and voila! you've moved past it! Post in the threads that interest you and click "<--" on the ones that don't!!!

Good luck and welcome to PTO!!!!

We welcome you with open arms, even though you don't like our kinky talk!!! LOL

j/k but seriously, PTO is great!

**Patty** · #7 09-24-2009, 12:25 AM

Remember Karate Kid? Mr. Miyagi said, "Best defense no be there"

PTO is a huge site with so much to read from one minute to the next. If you come across a thread you do not agree with or find distasteful you can just move along and do your own thing.

Patty

rockstara · #8 09-24-2009, 12:38 AM

Different strokes for different folks!

Meeow · #9 09-24-2009, 02:35 AM

I totally feel ya ladies..but saying that..we all 'love' in different ways. Personally, I used to worry about him getting in altercations, added time, enough to eat, enough visits/calls from loved ones, keeping his spirits up, alleviating anxieties..etc... all the things we say on here.

I recall seeing the same post, and my initial reaction was a raised eyebrow! LOL At the end of the day, it wouldn't cross our minds! But it sounds from what the poster said on that one thread there may be some confusion about what love and sex are. If I am correct in my thinking, a person so naive may think, "If I am his first experience after being locked up all this time...I MUST be special to him" She is basing her worth on this one event and I imagine THAT is where her anxiety lies thus her thread.

We are all entitled to an opinion, but lets try and keep this a supportive measure hey girls?

As I always say "But for the Grace of God go I"

Peace

ant's wife · #10 09-24-2009, 09:00 AM

sometimes talking about other things besides what's going on behind the walls is an excellent stress relief no matter the subject and talking about what your gonna do when he gets home is just a little reminder that yeah he will be home and it let's ya know it could be worst.

Danya · #11 09-24-2009, 09:29 AM

I worry about my man, but I don't get all dramatic about it. I guess where he is at has something to do with it, it's a very small minimum security yard. Honestly I think about sex more than I worry about him getting shanked or something. It's been a year since we have been together and I think it's completely normal to think/talk/dream about it.

HONE3YDYPPZ · #12 09-24-2009, 09:39 AM

to answer the question i can across this site by mistake or in my case luck. i've found women who are going through the exact same thing this was something i could'nt really talk to my girls about because they haven't dealt with this. I come to this site and post on the topics that i can relate to or if i have question about something. i don't post just to post or get to noticed. I don't give advice on something i'm not going through or haven't been through. And about the sex thing I can careless about sex.. My thing is i'm worried about my love tuesday and thursdays(today) i worry cause that's when the newbies come in and that's when fights break out. I worry when i don't get a phone call when i'm supposed to. I'm a real ass female and that's why my love chose me.

JaneB · #13 09-24-2009, 09:45 AM

Well my sex drive overall pretty much went *poof* when all this happened, lots of reasons and not really important here.

I wonder though if some don't go through phases so to speak. Especially those dealing with long term confinements. Depending on the climate where he is, depending on what is going on in their lives, dependent on whatever.

Some days someone might be stressing over their safety, others, are they getting enough to eat. Then some days it just might be human nature screaming for intimacy.

We are going to catch each other on good days, bad days, and even sexually frustrated days.

To the OP, I understand your feelings. Maybe she was just having a sexually frustrated day..

akaptrosa · #14 09-24-2009, 12:25 PM

I know I originally came to this site for information. I have since learned that the support is great.

The thoughts, ideas and theories on different subjects are FANTASTIC!

That's what keeps me around. I've read different one's blogs and I'll think, "Oh, I need to talk to boo on that subject." I believe in learning from others mistakes if I can.

You know, the only time I ever worry about my man is when I read posts on here about certain situations.

I think people come here for a lot of different reasons and there is a lot one can get out of this site.

kaylaindia · #15 09-24-2009, 12:38 PM

yea i think people just post thing like that so you can forget about the bad for a while and talk about different things. i know i never just for get why i came on here in the first place. but it's funny sometimes to read other blogs

chelseagreg1427 · #16 09-24-2009, 12:39 PM

i cant wait for my man to get home and to play! but with that being said, its one of the last things truly on my mind. like you said, at the end of the day..
AND when the day is getting nearer, that will be the one thing i dont have to worry about! and if i was, honestly, ide keep it to myself. its just one of those things. especially since the first time back will feel so special, i dont see why you would want to "discuss" it with others.
but thats just me, different situation that the poster of that thread.
but yeah, i do think there are some much greater issues to be dealt with in any relationship first, especially since that particular situation was so violent.

needhelp2009 · #17 09-24-2009, 03:45 PM

the reason why i come here is because in the beginning i felt like i was in the dark with all the rules and worrying about him, wondering if it was like tv or worse. If it was not for this site I do not know where i would be. It has saved me many humiliating conversations with him when i did not know the lingo, i can come here and figure it out. It also is a stress reliever, i relize it is not as bad as you can create in your mind, if i did have a question or concern no matter what it was i would get answers and support and i think that is what the other thread was hoping for. I come here for support so i can support him more productivly!!!

Bishopsgirl · #18 09-24-2009, 10:02 PM

I come here for lots of reasons. I come here when I have questions about things, when I'm sad, when I'm bored, when I want to be reminded that I'm not the only one going through this or when I want to take a break from feeling so alone in this. i worry about my husband and his everyday struggles but I also worry about all the stuff that comes along with his release. I know anything can happen while he is locked up but I don't want to think about it all the time. Sometimes I get sick of worrying if he has enough to eat to last the whole month or has enough smokes. Sometimes I want to be worried that he didn't make it to the post office in time to drop of the electric bill. I want to know what it is going to feel like when he comes home and we have sex the first time after he gets out. I want to know what its going to feel like to have him hold me at night and I want to know if he is going to hog up the whole bed or steal the blankets all night. At the end of the day if he doesn't call I get worried and I try to do my best to make sure he has everything he needs for the month and I pray that he doesn't get stabbed or in trouble but if I let that be my thought every day I will drive myself crazy. I like reading all kinds of posts on here the happy and the sad even the post that I find silly. Its what makes up PTO in my opinion.

SpicaRigel · #19 09-24-2009, 10:39 PM

When i saw the title of this thread...Why Are You Here"...the jokester came out in me and i wanted to say, "I'm here because i aint all there!"
Well, i read the entire thing and could feel the genuineness in it and i want to say thank you for posting this thread because it really brings up the worries all of us who have loved ones incarcerated have.
Thank you.