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mooshy · #1 07-21-2009, 05:50 AM

...been writing to my pal for a year and he has never mentioned his conviction. After much soul searching I wrote to tell him that I knew what he had been convicted of (sensitively) and I quoted a brilliant siggy from a member on here "a friend accepts your past, likes you in the now, and will be there in the future" . I told him I would never mention it again but I wanted him to know that I had got his information before I first wrote.....and that I had still got in touch - and that I am sooooo glad I did.

Well after me sweating since putting it in the post box he has written back..........and we are still solid. Yay for my guy

Just wanted to shhare some good news. XX

**lisainengland** · #2 07-21-2009, 06:35 AM

Thats great mooshy. I sometimes think our pen pals dont like to mention their crime cos they think it might scare us off. But once they know we will support them no matter what I think it helps make the friendship stronger. I have always told my pen pals that I am interested in them as a person not a statistic.

mooshy · #3 07-21-2009, 02:24 PM

Yeah, he also has said in his reply that he is deeply ashamed and embarrassed by his conviction.......something done as a young man now receiving an older man's wisdom.

I used to write thinking "I wonder if he thinks I've googled him. Does he think I know or not?" and it just felt like something which was uneccessarily in between us. I'm glad I broached the subject with him....I think he's relieved too.....and I am super glad he's staying with us.

**lisainengland** · #4 07-22-2009, 04:22 AM

I think that is true with a lot of inmates. A crime comitted when they were young and foolish or in a moment of madness. The sad part is they pay such a high price for it. I thinks honesty is the best way to have a really good friendship. I am glad it all worked out for you.

Quote:

Originally Posted by mooshy

Yeah, he also has said in his reply that he is deeply ashamed and embarrassed by his conviction.......something done as a young man now receiving an older man's wisdom.

I used to write thinking "I wonder if he thinks I've googled him. Does he think I know or not?" and it just felt like something which was uneccessarily in between us. I'm glad I broached the subject with him....I think he's relieved too.....and I am super glad he's staying with us.

Mitch67 · #5 08-22-2009, 09:59 AM

That's great mooshy!

With the arrival of the Internet it is so easy to find out anything about anyone. I purposely didn't check my guy out before I wrote and I told him that he should tell me only if he wanted to and when he was ready. After about six months of writing he suggested that I google him. I did and to be honest I was pretty shocked by the things that they say he has done. I think maybe if I had known before I might have avoided him so I am glad that I didnlt look him up when I found his name.

Being a few months in our relationship was already set so although I was shocked there was no way that I was giving up on him.

Halo666 · #6 09-06-2009, 01:24 PM

I wrote my pen pal 1st and then googled him.But that doesn't matter.We all know that these guys are in there for horrible crimes.I haven't told that I done it.But I asked him too what crime he did,to see if he's lying maybe.
I want to get it behind me in a way.

4-RobertButts · #7 09-23-2009, 02:25 PM

It's important to gain a general understanding of an inmate's crime before writing him/her, but it's also important to let the past return to the past after you've screened your selection for safety/compatibility issues. Everyone needs a little privacy from time-to-time. Everyone.

elsapunzi · #8 10-14-2009, 05:35 AM

i have never checked any of my guys to see their crime and i consider myself lucky because the have always told me what they were convicted off and often send me the (legal ) paper work to see for myself