Is your man a worrywart when it comes to mail or lack of? - Page 2

MikesBabydoll09 · #16 11-06-2009, 06:08 PM

>>hugs<< beth..

Mike knows I've been busy doing what I gotta do- I think in the past month and a half he's gotten ONE letter from me- When he was at county he'd get like 4 a week :P

I talk to him daily though. YET he still yells at me that I dont send him more pictures AUGH!

I hope Marc gets back to normal soon :P

wmcneilc · #17 11-06-2009, 08:12 PM

Unfortunately, this is a major big deal for me and my man. I write every day and rarely does he get my mail. Sometimes it is returned, sometimes he gets it and other times it just goes into the black whole. It happened frequently at the other prison and then he was move and it all straightened out. Now, suddently it back to missing and undelivered mail. It's probably a deal breaker for us as I have grown tired of constantly having to justify the unjusifiable. I have reassured him on many occasions but he refuses to believe me. Trying to stay positive but my patience is wearing very thin. Nornally we talk on the phone several times a week and I visit every Saturday but lately all communication has been cut because he's upset he's not getting my mail. What else is a girl to do.

Crazy in Love!

marcsbeth · #18 11-06-2009, 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wmcneilc

Unfortunately, this is a major big deal for me and my man. I write every day and rarely does he get my mail. Sometimes it is returned, sometimes he gets it and other times it just goes into the black whole. It happened frequently at the other prison and then he was move and it all straightened out. Now, suddently it back to missing and undelivered mail. It's probably a deal breaker for us as I have grown tired of constantly having to justify the unjusifiable. I have reassured him on many occasions but he refuses to believe me. Trying to stay positive but my patience is wearing very thin. Nornally we talk on the phone several times a week and I visit every Saturday but lately all communication has been cut because he's upset he's not getting my mail. What else is a girl to do.

Crazy in Love!

yeah,i know EXACTLY how you feel!!

KandValways · #19 11-07-2009, 07:02 AM

This has been an on and off problem for us, when I get really busy with my work and school I cannot write as much as I would want. He doesn't get worried, he just thinks I have forgotten about him. Mind you I talk to him on the average every other day. Usually I just reassure him that he is one of my top priorities,and nothing in the world could make me forget about him. That lasts a couple of weeks!

humboldtsweetie · #20 11-09-2009, 09:56 PM

definitely! he always gets worried and i can tell too. he points it out in his letter.. i think sometimes the mail gets doubled up or if i send it out at a different time then it might go out the next day or what not. so he gets a little worried. lol but i'm like baby you know i right everyday so ou know its not coming from my end

suziek · #21 11-10-2009, 09:58 AM

I hope that I'm not stereotyping our friends but they are usually pretty isolated (we are their lifeline to the outside world), time goes by soooooo slow for them sometimes and many of them carry some sort of baggage already regarding abandonment.

I mean I have "just penpals" and if the craziness of daily life or our trusted postal system interferes and they are delayed in hearing from me, all their insecurities seem to rise to the surface (am I mad at them, am I okay). Some of these guys I have written to for years and yet they still worry.

I've used JPay on those occasions (which helps) but to me patience and reassurance works best. While most of us feel blue if we don't get an expected letter...for them the emotions and insecurities run much deeper. That's what the place they live in does to them.

Help Lord · #22 11-10-2009, 10:50 AM

My love had a hard time when he first left the county. He couldnt talk on the phone while he was in reception, so we agreed I'd write a little bit more often. But as it turns out he was in reception for only about 24 hours. All of the mail I sent there had to be re routed. I kept writing daily but they have seperate computer systems for different things, (issues the social worker would deal with, mail etc) so he was't getting any of that mail either. It was aweful. He kept sending me these letters that asked if I forgot all about him or decided to move on. I was finally able to figure out the problem and get him added to the computer system for the mail.

marcsbeth · #23 11-10-2009, 10:54 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by suziek

I hope that I'm not stereotyping our friends but they are usually pretty isolated (we are their lifeline to the outside world), time goes by soooooo slow for them sometimes and many of them carry some sort of baggage already regarding abandonment.

I mean I have "just penpals" and if the craziness of daily life or our trusted postal system interferes and they are delayed in hearing from me, all their insecurities seem to rise to the surface (am I mad at them, am I okay). Some of these guys I have written to for years and yet they still worry.

I've used JPay on those occasions (which helps) but to me patience and reassurance works best. While most of us feel blue if we don't get an expected letter...for them the emotions and insecurities run much deeper. That's what the place they live in does to them.

very deep and well thought out post,thank you!! It can heighten anxiety if your loved ones already suffers from abandonment issues.i never really thought about that perspective. it's almost like he expects the worst some days. having these kind of issues can make it hard on BOTH parties in the relationship. thanks again for your perspective. it really made me stop and think!!!

Sanyika'sgirl · #24 11-11-2009, 11:08 AM

My man worries sometimes if he dosen't get mail from me. Sometimes they don't give him mail from me for almost 2 weeks and it's hard because he's in the SHU so i can't call him or he can't call me but we make through these rough times and he knows how much i love him because i tell him all of the time in EVERY letter.

browniesss · #25 11-12-2009, 12:07 AM

Eh.. I usually know how busy I'm going to be in advance so I warn him

He'll know if he won't be getting mail for a few days and I feel like it might help ease his mind. I'm trying to keep him posted and catch up on all the responses but it's hard to balance time. I think he's pretty understanding for the most part though..

hippychk · #26 11-12-2009, 01:45 AM

Please read my post, titled "My man needs support/mail. My man is seriously worried I have moved on or have found someone new, but such is not the case. I am ill, and can't write as much as I wish, or as much as he needs and deserves. Most of my letters are short and make no sense. I am writing him tonight thanks only to today's infusion at the hospital, lessoning some of my discomfort, and allowing me straight thoughts. Being ill is for the birds!!!
God Bless us all!
Faith G.

marcsbeth · #27 11-12-2009, 08:23 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hippychk

Please read my post, titled "My man needs support/mail. My man is seriously worried I have moved on or have found someone new, but such is not the case. I am ill, and can't write as much as I wish, or as much as he needs and deserves. Most of my letters are short and make no sense. I am writing him tonight thanks only to today's infusion at the hospital, lessoning some of my discomfort, and allowing me straight thoughts. Being ill is for the birds!!!
God Bless us all!
Faith G.

I'm sorry you are so ill. I pray you will feel better soon!!

hippychk · #28 11-12-2009, 08:33 AM

Thank you so very much!