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FletchersDaddy · #1 02-12-2010, 07:59 AM

I get so frustrated when I tell people. H and I are dating and they respond with either "How can you be dating? He is in prison" or "How can you be together, if he is in prison?" I have heard this so many times this week I want to scream. I have also had the same people questioning me as a mother, for wanting to be with/love someone in prison. They all feel he will never change etc. It is just so hurtful and at times makes me question myself and my judgement. UGH It is even harder when they are friends with both H and I.

celtic_lily13 · #2 02-12-2010, 09:05 AM

Honey i totally understand how u feel. i hav friends and family who ask me those questions all the time but i chose not to listen to them cuz when u love a person, you will do anything for them include wait for them while there in prison. if u kno wat u feel bout this person is genioune then go for it...ignore wat ppl say cuz u know its meant to be. if u evr need to talk ur more than welcome to PM me if u need to talk.

FletchersDaddy · #3 02-12-2010, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by celtic_lily13

Honey i totally understand how u feel. i hav friends and family who ask me those questions all the time but i chose not to listen to them cuz when u love a person, you will do anything for them include wait for them while there in prison. if u kno wat u feel bout this person is genioune then go for it...ignore wat ppl say cuz u know its meant to be. if u evr need to talk ur more than welcome to PM me if u need to talk.

Celtic, Thank you. I really needed to hear that. I am so glad I found PTO or is would be so lost right now. You guys are the best.

NewHorizon · #4 02-12-2010, 09:49 AM

Don't let it get to you honey. We have all heard this a time or two. My husband is in jail, and he will be there for a while unless his appeal changes things. I have lost friends over staying with my husband. You have to decide for yourself and not let others get to you. I have been told everything under the sun to I am stupid, I should leave him, etc. You are the only one that knows in your heart what to do. Follow your heart!!

Mike'sbabyboy · #5 02-12-2010, 09:50 AM

I agree with celtic. Honey, people are going to talk no matter what you do. People tole me to leave Mike alone for one reason or another. Well, All those people are either single now, or in and out of crazy relationships. While Mike and I just celebrated our 14 year anniversary this past December. My advice is do what you want. This is Mike's 4th prison bid but I am not leaving him. This is also his longest. He will have served over two years by the time he comes home in June. His last 3 bids were from 5-14 months. But the one thing I can say is that he loves me. And I am proud to say that I have not been with "Tom, Dick, and Harry." Girl, f**ck what people say...stand by your man...as long as he treats YOU with respect.

FletchersDaddy · #6 02-12-2010, 10:21 AM

Thank you guys, I am not leaving my man. He is one of the best things that has ever happened to me. I love him to pieces and he treats me and my kids with love and respect. I know I should not listen to people but sometimes when a lot of it comes all at once you start to question yourself. I got a letter from him yesterday that helped calm some of my worries and concerns. It is really weird but it seems like when I am have a hard time with one thing or another I get the letter telling me EXACTLY what I needed to hear.

Thank you again.

FletchersDaddy · #7 02-12-2010, 10:28 AM

I will share a sweet poem he wrote for me for Valentine's Day.

"My Valentines Day Wish"
Together forever I know we will be,
My Valentine's wish for you & me.
You've stuck by my side through good & bad,
Even the times when I made you sad.
Like the stars in the Heavens you shine in my life
Cause one day soon, I will make you my wife.
No longer will we be apart, Even though we are
now, you're still here in my heart.

Happy Valentines Day Baby

Are you kidding me.... I could never leave this guy.

LETxGO · #8 02-12-2010, 10:36 AM

stay strong sweetie. people always judge relationships even if the partner is not in prison someone will find a way to question your relationship with him. eg "why are you with him, he barely makes minimum wage" or "why are you with him, you deserve way better" etc etc. don't let them get to you. some people just have a really hard time believing prison relationships can work & theres a stereotype that most people in them are desperate or have low confidence which is so untrue. people don't realize that love is love, it doesn't matter if your partner is locked up and you only get phone calls, letters and visits every other week, its real love and thats what matters. screw them! don't doubt yourself because a few people make silly comments/judgements.

LETxGO · #9 02-12-2010, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FletchersDaddy

I will share a sweet poem he wrote for me for Valentine's Day.

"My Valentines Day Wish"
Together forever I know we will be,
My Valentine's wish for you & me.
You've stuck by my side through good & bad,
Even the times when I made you sad.
Like the stars in the Heavens you shine in my life
Cause one day soon, I will make you my wife.
No longer will we be apart, Even though we are
now, you're still here in my heart.

Happy Valentines Day Baby

Are you kidding me.... I could never leave this guy.

i think you should leave him....so i can come steal him for myself! j/k but that poem is the cutest!! how sweet. when i read it i just said "awwwwww!!" out loud. what a sweetheart!

FletchersDaddy · #10 02-12-2010, 11:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LETxGO

i think you should leave him....so i can come steal him for myself! j/k but that poem is the cutest!! how sweet. when i read it i just said "awwwwww!!" out loud. what a sweetheart!

LOL - hmmmmm, Leave him?? NOPE. He is mine and all mine.

Mike'sbabyboy · #11 02-12-2010, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FletchersDaddy

LOL - hmmmmm, Leave him?? NOPE. He is mine and all mine.

And if that's him in the picture, he is also a cutie.

FletchersDaddy · #12 02-12-2010, 12:01 PM

yes, that him in the picture.

Mike'sbabyboy · #13 02-12-2010, 04:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FletchersDaddy

yes, that him in the picture.

Well, he is definitely a cutie pie.

. He kinda reminds me of Mike. You go girl!!!!

kellya5107 · #14 02-12-2010, 04:24 PM

I get this same BS every wk. my parents are the worst. they are so irrirating it bugs me to no end....I thought they had accepted the situation but here lately they are putting me down for being with sumone "like that" I live with my parents rite now b/c my house burnt down last yr and im waiting on all this 2 clear up b4 I move out on my own again. so i tell my mom that I cant move out rite now b/c of the situation and money as well I want to be able to talk to my love and she says " well u mite as well find u another boyfriend then" i was like WTH? I get it all day everyday and then wednesday my love called me and the phone wasnt workin properly so i said i need to chk the phone line b/c idk wat happened and she said well u dont need to talk to "that boy" all the time anyway. they are always saying " u don't need to go see him every wkend" u should have "better things to do" so yeah i fully understand this perfectly. It brings me 2 tears and I havent been able to talk to my love since wed. I am so frustrated seriously and now its fkn snowin so i prolly won't be able to see my love 2mor unless this snow melts quick which with my luck won't happen at all.

Hisoneandonly · #15 02-12-2010, 04:38 PM

Except for my parents, I've pretty much stopped talking to people who don't support mine and my husbands relationship. And I am able to hush my dad up pretty quick by reminding him he is (my dad) a chirsitan and shouldn't judge, b/c thats just as much of a sin as what my hsuband did :P...he who is without sin cast the first stonea nd yadayadya

People are always going to judge you. If you are happy (or atleast as happy as you can be in this type of sitatuion) that is all that matters. Just focus on you and yours.

That poem was so cute

BlueEyedEllie · #16 02-12-2010, 04:40 PM

you could always answer back "and i could do a heck of alot worse!!"funny thing,often time the less people know about a certain situation the more they run their mouths about it!!

keep ya head up and do what YOU feel is right.after all,it's YOUR life!!!

hotrodgirl · #17 02-12-2010, 06:14 PM

My family thought I was straight up crazy when I got together with my husband 5 years ago (mwi) but they have come to love and accept him during that time and see that he is the love of my life.

Mikeys1andonly · #18 02-12-2010, 07:49 PM

I hear this kind of banter every single day, and it does make me second guess sometimes.. even lost my supposed best friend because of this during the last couple of weeks.. so its tough, but i'm with him for a reason... i love him.

FletchersDaddy · #19 02-12-2010, 09:09 PM

Thank you guys. It sounds like a lot of us are having to deal with others judging us.

Sindarla · #20 02-13-2010, 03:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FletchersDaddy

Thank you guys. It sounds like a lot of us are having to deal with others judging us.

Yes, but in my case it's my Dad doing the judging! (I only have 2 good friends & they care about me & support me.) It's Sooo frustrating hearing your Own Father saying "He has a rap sheet a mile long" & "He's never gonna change" & "Why do you always be with criminals," Even Not acknowledging that he's my husband! He Even said that my Mother who passed away of breast cancer on December 25, 2004 or I, if we Ever got arrested (like if we were set up somehow) he would Not be there for either of us & he "didn't raise me that way!" I was only in 1 other relationship, my ex, my daughter's Father was in & out a few times, He's an ass, but I Hate my Dad comparing my husband to my ex, my husband's different, he wants to be a family man & stop using, he's 41 now & he's tired of going to prison, I Know he's sincere, I wish my Dad & others like my sister could see past how they stereotype him & look into his heart. Most people don't, won't or can't do that & he's been hurt Sooo many times in his past. I think many of our men who have used drugs and have done/are doing time have been hurt a lot in their pasts. They are Truly sensitive souls who put on a brave/hard front to others so they won't be hurt anymore & pretend that what others say won't hurt him. But I keep it real with him, whether it hurts or not & I tell him what/when my Father says about him. It may hurt but I think he should know what he says, also because it hurts me & that's what we're there for, to help each other through our pains & frustrations & difficult times. The good times are a bonus. I just wish my Father could see what a good heart my husband has & how sincere he is. (Sincere's his nickname!) My husband loves his Father-in-law very much & feels that at age 73 he's set in his ways & he says that it he doesn't care of he feels that way.

Mike'sbabyboy · #21 02-13-2010, 11:53 AM

I don't allow people to judge me, my man, or my family. I will put a b***h in their place fast, quick, and in a hurry. I don't play that s**t. When people try to tell me what I should or should not do, I respond by telling them to pay my rent. "For each month you pay my rent, that gives you a month to tell me what to do. Until then, "shut the f**k up." I know nobody is going to pay my rent, so that's the remedy for me. I also like it when single people try to tell me something. My response..."where is your man?"