To Visit or Not to Visit !!

[LovinMy~Joshie]

I just dont kno what to do .... I love my visits with my boyfriend they are wonderful BUT its the days after the visit that I cant deal with. I'm honestly considering not visiting him anymore, which I kno will upset him, BUT the days after the visits are killing me. I cry while i'm at the visits, I cry when we have to say g-bye and I have to leave him there (I look around the room and it always seems like im the only one cryin), I cry on the way home, and todays the day after and I'm still crying. It was never this bad untill I started visiting, now I feel like i'm losing it, the sadness and tears are to much, I feel like i'm falling apart. My kids keep asking me what is wrong, today when we were gettin in the car to leave, my neighbor walked over and was talkin to me, out of the blue my daughter turns to her and goes, "My mommy has been sad and crying a lot here lately, WHY DONT YOU COME OVER AND HELP HER" !!! Yup you guessed it, when I got in the car that just made me start crying again ... I know me being so sad over Josh is upsetting my girls as well.
I guess im just wondering if anyone else feels this way and has actually considered not going to visit. Its like I want to and need to see him, he wants to see me and wants me there, but it seems to be so unbearably hard for me afterwards !! I dont start feeling better untill Friday (the day before visits) , then the visit comes and goes and its 6 days of depression to look forward too ..... ugh ..... wat to do ??

[wvdonovan]

It took me a while, but I don't cry on the way home now. It DOES get better...promise.

[LovinMy~Joshie]

Originally Posted by wvdonovan

It took me a while, but I don't cry on the way home now. It DOES get better...promise.

Thanks, wvdonovan !! Yea I havent dealt with this kind of thing before ~ He has been in since April but I have only started talkin to him again in July when he was sent to the Anthony Center !! So its only been a couple of months, he is at the Anthony Center and should get out in 9 months, so I feel inconsiderate to even moan and complain since that is such a short time and most of you have to wait years for your loved ones, I couldnt imagine !! I'm just hoping time will help and that it does get better, if not I might run out of tears !!

[gabbygirl372001]

You need to get a life outside of HIM. I know you're sad...we all are, believe me, but it makes it harder on him when you act this way. Please....try to get strong, and start counting down. 9 months is only a minute. Get busy....work, take a class, get a hobby...something to keep your mind off of this. He needs you to visit...but he also needs for you to be strong. You will be helping him, by not being so emotional.
That being said...we all have a hard time leaving...its natural...but we deal with it. GET BUSY!

[wvdonovan]

Gabby's right. Lawson would always call me on my way home an catch me crying. "Baby, these are supposed to be happy days. We just spent three hours playing cards and laughing and spending time together that most couples who live in the same house don't even do. Don't cry." That's what I was told. And he's right.

[LovinMy~Joshie]

Yea sorry guys I was just having an emotional tizzy that day !! Perfectly fine now , the day after seeing him is ruff, but I think it'll get better !! I'm busy all the time , lord knows I could never take up a hobby, wit my 2 lil girls and working all the time I never have much "free" time !! Think I'm gna limit my visits to every other weekend (save on gas money) I wont worry bout him as much that way

[BrandonsPrincess]

You misewell get used to it!!!!!!!!! My husband has been their 7 months and i stilll cry i think it is just worse after i leave but i know I will always be their for him no matter what I am so Proud of everything that he has done im a stay at home mom while hes over their i keep up with the Bills the house everything.But for me it wont be too much longer and he will be coming home Hopefully 80 Days!!!!!!!!! 23 more visits left after today!!!!!!! YAY!!!!!!!!! We have a beautiful daughter together im glad she dosent know just "daddy isnt home" But he will be sooN!!!!!

[Ronsbaby]

it's rough! we been doin this for a lil over a yr now, when my baby was at the federal detention center we only got 1 visit a week and visit was sposed to be 3 hrs except the week of the month that it was sat. that was only 1 1/2 hr, but some weeks even the weekday visit would be 1hr but sometimes we got lucky and got full 3 hr but anyways iwoul cry somedays leaving ... usualy i could make it out the door though lol....then now he's at his max facility and wow we get 3 days to spend together we get about 3 hrs on fridays, and sat and suns we get bout 6hrs with that said one would think how awesome? which believe me it is really awesome...just that sometmes on sunday it's so flippin hard to leave, and then monday's i'm terrible....we have always done something where we count down the days to visit and we do that before we leave..if i start to cry he usually say something silly to get me to laugh and smile..it works but i still end up cryin later... also when there is federal holiday we get monday visit too...now this weekend we would have had 4 days to visit but i had to take care of things friday and today so we are getting sunday and monday visit and this has been rough for both of us cuz we dont like missing any time together! We have a long time left to go....hang in there, we all know how rough it can be...it's rough leaving visit and sometimes it's even more rough not having time together!
i have heard that some woman do not go to visit cuz of the feelings afterwords, i personaly can't imagine not spending anytime with my baby! that would be more painful...just always count down to the next visit, this helps!

[wvdonovan]

It is hard. I try and go every week, but the past month I haven't been able to at all. Between car troubles and bills, it's been a nightmare. But I get to go tomorrow!!! Yay!!