At your doorstep after a breakup on their release date?

[PrettyBlack<3]

How do I handle that? I recently made the decision to walk away from my daughter's father who may be getting out in 2 weeks, (his lawyer is quite optimistic) and I walked away from it due to his repetitive little white lies. He was unfaithful before he went in and I was seeing some of the same signs since we'd gotten back together with him in prison. Anyway since I closed my phone account and have not written or accepted any three way calls from him (and if he writes I already plan on returning to sender)...doing all of that is great and would allow me some time to build some resolve and stick firm with my decision, but if he gets out in two weeks knowing him I can be absolutely certain he WILL either show up at my door or call me trying to get together. Any advice on how to handle that? I ask because honestly I love with man with all of my being, but he has hurt me and our child tremendously in the past by dumping me without warning and abandoning our child, the time we had apart with great difficulty I'd learned to love myself more than going back to him so quickly, but since it already seems things haven't changed after giving him another chance after all these years, I'm asking for tips on how to stand firm should the man I love but can never trust choose to show up at my doorstep.

[mrs.bug]

This is a tough one. I respect you for realizing what you and your daughter deserve and need. That being said he is her father and whether he shows up on your doorstep or not you have to face him at some point.

Ultimately you have to make a firm decision on what's best for you guys. You know it's not him so whenever he knocks on the door recite a quick mental list of the crappy things he's done to you. When he smiles and tries to work his way back in try to remember how it felt when he left you and your child. A man who deserts his family has no redeeming qualities.

[qylaila]

I think it is such a beautiful thing to see a woman realize something and make a healthy choice. You are truely setting a positive example for your child. I would say for advice that you should always keep in mind the love that you gained for yourself while you two were apart. I agree with the other poster that you have to face him at some point. I myself would make it my business to meet up with him if he does get out in two weeks. I feel that if you go ahead and have the conversation with him away from the house then when he does come to the house he will know what the deal is....This way there won't be any confusion.

[PrettyBlack<3]

Thank you ladies for the great advice and encouragement. I guess I was also hoping there would be someone who's been through it before that would share their experience and how they handled it. But you are right due to our daughter we will have to talk at some point or perhaps not, he is the type that if he's not with me or the other baby mama then he is not the dad to the kids, get what I mean, so he may be a no show since I've walked away but he is also very proud so I guess I just want to be prepared when he shows up only to redeem his "pride".

[CoNpal]

I think you're doing the right thing with discontinuing contact. My ex (who is not in prison) dumped me without warning also so I can relate to the devastation. When he came crawling back, I couldn't trust him again either.

Remember, you have a daughter with this man so he is definitely going to turn back up. Maybe the day he's released or maybe weeks/months later. You can't avoid him forever so take your time and get your head on straight.