Been away a while

[chunkymunkey]

Hi ladies,
I've been keeping my distance from here, but now I'm back. It has been rough out here lately. This whole"can't see him for 3 years cuz of probation" thing is taking its toll on us BIG TIME. We have been fighting like cats and dogs. He already had major trust issues and now that he can't see me it's gotten worse. The constant fighting and accusations began to break my spirit but I'm getting stronger and have begun to stand up for myself even more which I don't know if it helping or hurting the situation. We will have been together for 6 years by the time we get to see each other again. Thats major. I told him I don't know if I can spend the next 3 years not being able to see him and fighting everytime we talk.
I don't know. I guess I'm just really stressed out with my life out here and his gripping isn't making it any easier. It got to the point where I told him not to call me back so I didn't hear from him for almost a month.
I love that man with all my heart but idk hoe much longer I can hold on!

[dragon_92503]

You need to let him know that.... You say its been a month since he last called you. So write him a letter, make sure that you sound calm and collective with your words. let him know how much you love him and that you are not going any where. that his accusations hurt and do nothing for your relationship. its hard enough that you're going to have to go 3 years with out a visit, but the constant fighting only puts more of a wedge between the two of you.

just be straight up honest and put it out there... he's either going to see the error of his ways or continue to be a jerk.

[Bellebing]

I don't have any magic words of advice but *hug* I just think we all go thru this somewhat and you are definitly getting a big dose of ICK right now not being able to see him! **POW POW** the DOC!!!!

And now....put your big girl panties on, look deep into your heart and if he's 'THE ONE'.....you can so do this, girl!! A few years? Totally!!! Lead by example and try to be creative and fun with stuff ~ everyone gets into ruts with stuff but sometimes you can find new stuff to do that puts some *kick kick* back into stuff!!

Good luck, girl! keep us posted!

[Inhishands]

Hang in there Girlie, it gets tough sometimes....but your love and letters will carry you through, and we are always here for you. (((hugs)))

[Doll Eyes]

Originally Posted by Inhishands

Hang in there Girlie, it gets tough sometimes....but your love and letters will carry you through, and we are always here for you. (((hugs)))

Very well said......(((hugs)))

[chunkymunkey]

Originally Posted by dragon_92503

You need to let him know that.... You say its been a month since he last called you. So write him a letter, make sure that you sound calm and collective with your words. let him know how much you love him and that you are not going any where. that his accusations hurt and do nothing for your relationship. its hard enough that you're going to have to go 3 years with out a visit, but the constant fighting only puts more of a wedge between the two of you.

just be straight up honest and put it out there... he's either going to see the error of his ways or continue to be a jerk.

Oh I do let him know. This has been a battle with us for 3 years because when we first got together i cheated on him, so he never regained his trust in me which i say, "why marry me if you don't trust me?"
He doesnt feel he is wrong at all. I tell him that i am HIS and noone elses, but he doesnt believe that i am as weird as i actually am(i never look at other men, crazy I know, and I have zero sex drive cuz of med issues) but he thinks that i am a liar. We will get thru this i know. i just have to regain my strength for the fight to make it work.
Thanks ladies

[dragon_92503]

Originally Posted by chunkymunkey

Oh I do let him know. This has been a battle with us for 3 years because when we first got together i cheated on him, so he never regained his trust in me which i say, "why marry me if you don't trust me?"
He doesnt feel he is wrong at all. I tell him that i am HIS and noone elses, but he doesnt believe that i am as weird as i actually am(i never look at other men, crazy I know, and I have zero sex drive cuz of med issues) but he thinks that i am a liar. We will get thru this i know. i just have to regain my strength for the fight to make it work.
Thanks ladies

Well, all I can say to that is .... n I hope things get better.

[Peach&Cream]

this may not make much sense, but sometimes picking a fight in these types of situations to be angry at one another seems easier than being on cloud 9 yet not be able to see / feel one another ~

my man use to push me away in what he thought were "clever" ways by "picking fights" years later I picked up the damn trait and gave him a taste of his own meds ~ we realized how unhealthy the behavior was and as soon as we thought we nailed it, we were tested ~ I was not allowed to see him for while - we thought it would be a year because that's how long i was placed on informal probation for and the paper work from cdc stated i would not be able to visit until my issue was resolved, but I wrote letters to the warden expressing the change in my husband since our regular visits began verses when I was just a friend writing to him without visits and he approved me. I know that your case is ordered by the court, but you cant give up hope ~ God moves mountains, anything is possible.

then again, sometimes breaks are a necessity ~ as you know, prior to my marriage lifer and I broke up for two years, I heard nothing from him for two whole years... it was awful, but in those two empty years without him I learned how important it was for him to be in my life and why.

there is no wrong or right choice here to be made hun, you married the man you fell in love with and now your vows are being tested, we are going to fail and learn from our mistakes, aint nothing wrong with that. im glad your here sharing your journey with us, thank you. love you girl ((muuahh))