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Juswaitin4him · #1 01-07-2011, 08:10 AM

Ok, this is going to be a little long. So yesterday while conversing via email with my love, he made a statement about him not being able to wait to give me his last name. My comment back was that I couldn't wait either, I wish we could do it right now(When I said now, I meant I wish he was free so we could do it on the outside). Anyone he came back and said "We can do it now, you are the one that said you didn't want to do it while I was in here" So I explained to him again how I felt about being married while he is in prison. Anyway I sent him the lyrics to Jahiem song "Remarkable", I have have heard the song a million times and know most of the lyrics, however when I sent the lyrics I just copied and paste them into the email. When he responded to the email he said he loved the song and wish, that I would do what the last line of the song said. So I went back to the lyrics and saw what they said and it said "Will you marry me?", then it was follwed by another email asking me again and when will I be ready to do it? My response was you already know I want to marry you, I just want to do it when you are free. So my question to the ladies that got married while their men was on the inside, what was it like and do you wish you would have waited until he came home? I don't think that this was an official proposal however I do think he will be asking me seriously soon as he see me again.

HisQueen303 · #2 01-07-2011, 10:14 AM

I'm not married and we plan to get married wen he is released.. honestly I'm glad I waited to some the wedding isn't important but when I marry my man I want the world to be there and I don't just want a prison house wedding and not to mention my mother would flip!!! Lol but its ur choice I'm glad I've waited and so is he now he can't wait to see me walk down the aisle May 28th

kindergirl · #3 01-07-2011, 10:23 AM

You are asking about should you wait but look at it this way, did you ever think that you would be in a relationship like this? You need to decide whats best for you. Just because someone else thinks that for them they should have waited, doesnt mean that you will feel that way.

Good luck in whatever decision you make.

Juswaitin4him · #4 01-07-2011, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HisQueen303

I'm not married and we plan to get married wen he is released.. honestly I'm glad I waited to some the wedding isn't important but when I marry my man I want the world to be there and I don't just want a prison house wedding and not to mention my mother would flip!!! Lol but its ur choice I'm glad I've waited and so is he now he can't wait to see me walk down the aisle May 28th

Congrats, I just have this thing about going home alone after being married, I don't think that I would be to happy living my man after we are married.

Juswaitin4him · #5 01-07-2011, 11:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kindergirl

You are asking about should you wait but look at it this way, did you ever think that you would be in a relationship like this? You need to decide whats best for you. Just because someone else thinks that for them they should have waited, doesnt mean that you will feel that way.

Good luck in whatever decision you make.

Thank you.

HisQueen303 · #6 01-08-2011, 03:05 AM

Yup I was where ur at now, and so many people told me oh its just about sayin I do to the one u want to spend the rest of ur life with, well when I marry my man I want him to go home wit me. I never want to spend another night apart(I kno we will lol) I don't want to wake up the morning afterwards feelin so alone I love my man and he knows it... he's my spoiled baby but this one thing I had to put my foot down

and after 1st I was like maybe I should but why settle if you don't have to... this is just my opinion!

gabbygirl372001 · #7 01-08-2011, 03:14 AM

I did it, almost 4 years ago. For us, it was right. Everyone is different in what they need. You sound hesitent upon doing it inside, so if I were you I would wait in your case. For us...we don't know when hes coming home, so the situation was different. We love each other and I we wanted to be married. Do what you feel is best for YOU and HIM.

kandikisses · #8 01-08-2011, 09:31 AM

Well like pretty much everyone has said tha same thing and I agree. U hav to decide what's guna b best for u. I'm not married to my man yet, but we have set our date for november 11th and he will still b inside. I kno that on my wedding day I will not hav tha dress, tha cake, tha flowers, and most of my family will not b there. I kno that my wedding night will b spent without my husband there physically. Tha reason I don't want to wait is because I love him, I kno that he loves me, and I'm ready to b his wife now, I don't want or need to wait. But this is just how I feel. I kno everyone is different. Good luck and don't let anyone pressure u cause if so you'll b unhappy with wat u decide. If u pray, ask for direction...

noboundries · #9 01-08-2011, 10:29 AM

ME AND MY HUSBAND GOT MARRIED INSIDE....AND I WAS SOOOO EXCITED ABOUT IT!!!

Nope i don't feel bad about it. We will renew our vows for the family to be apart of the ceremony, but our marriage is about us. I imagine often the comments people will have on that day "wow, they made it" and all that jazz. YEA BABY!!

Franksgirl4ever · #10 01-08-2011, 10:36 AM

I married my man in prison in a full fledged wedding gown; him in a handsome suit. It was really a beautiful ceremony! The chaplain said we were the poster children for all others who thought getting married in prison couldn't be special. Our picture hangs in his office. For me the answer came to me like I got hit by lightning. I said no so many times, but realized that if anything were to happen to either one of us, I would regret not making our love official before God. I have not one regret!

j&c<3 · #11 01-08-2011, 11:04 AM

it funny bc im actually having the same dilema,my bf and i were going to get married 1st bc we love each other and 2nd was bc we couldnt get visit at the time,

after we got our visit we still were working on the paper work on getting married, until we had a convo on how it was going to be after i left the day of our wedding behind bars, so i thought extra hard about it..

a week later i had a serious convo with him amd told him we should wait until he is free, i didnt want to live the nightmare of coming to our empty house especially after he become my husband,

it our first time ever being married, so i want it to be special for the both of us, i feel that it will be more satisfying once he is out and we get married, like if we defeated this war and that wil be our big reward ...

at first he really didnt understand he just thought i didnt want to marry him but afterward he got the reason why, i reassured him that i do want to marry him and that if he was out we would be married instanly, without a doubt.

everyone is different i respect everyone opinion, i just perfer until he is out.

Juswaitin4him · #12 01-08-2011, 11:29 AM

Thank you all for your opinions, you all have great points. I am going to continue to pray on it. Thank you all again.

Juswaitin4him · #13 01-08-2011, 11:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Franksgirl4ever

I married my man in prison in a full fledged wedding gown; him in a handsome suit. It was really a beautiful ceremony! The chaplain said we were the poster children for all others who thought getting married in prison couldn't be special. Our picture hangs in his office. For me the answer came to me like I got hit by lightning. I said no so many times, but realized that if anything were to happen to either one of us, I would regret not making our love official before God. I have not one regret!

Beautiful story, I didnt even know they allowed them to change clothes.

johnrinasu · #14 01-08-2011, 03:34 PM

My Fiancé proposed to me so many times. Finally I said yes. I asked him if we could get married now and he said he would never marry me in prison. So the date is set for June 25th and he wants a beach side wedding during sunset. I think the wait will be worth it.

AlreadyTaken26 · #15 01-08-2011, 05:28 PM

I think you should follow your heart it seems like you are concerned about what, others may think about,youalthough you would have to go home alone the love that you share together should be enough for now how long is he in for? If it isn't long you should really do it because if,you wasn't sure your answer would've been no right!

Juswaitin4him · #16 01-08-2011, 05:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlreadyTaken26

I think you should follow your heart it seems like you are concerned about what, others may think about,youalthough you would have to go home alone the love that you share together should be enough for now how long is he in for? If it isn't long you should really do it because if,you wasn't sure your answer would've been no right!

Your right my answered would have been a straight no if I didnt want to at all, I am mostly concerned about my mother, she is going to flip not because its him, but the fact of me doing it while he is in prison. He has six more years, if this new law goes retroactive he will have a little less than 3. This is all our conversations has been about for three days now. I am going to follow my heart on this one. I will keep you all posted.

AlreadyTaken26 · #17 01-08-2011, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cmayes4207

Your right my answered would have been a straight no if I didnt want to at all, I am mostly concerned about my mother, she is going to flip not because its him, but the fact of me doing it while he is in prison. He has six more years, if this new law goes retroactive he will have a little less than 3. This is all our conversations has been about for three days now. I am going to follow my heart on this one. I will keep you all posted.

I understand that your mother would flip out but in the end it is your ultimate decision never let anyone's judgement steer your life if your heart is truly ready and you are physically, & emotionally ready I don't see why anything should stop you good luck I know you will make the best descision

Juswaitin4him · #18 01-08-2011, 06:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlreadyTaken26

I understand that your mother would flip out but in the end it is your ultimate decision never let anyone's judgement steer your life if your heart is truly ready and you are physically, & emotionally ready I don't see why anything should stop you good luck I know you will make the best descision

Thank you!!!

Tina Bee · #19 01-08-2011, 06:56 PM

I dont know. My husband and I married while he was out. Best thing ever.

scd123 · #20 01-08-2011, 07:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kandikisses

Well like pretty much everyone has said tha same thing and I agree. U hav to decide what's guna b best for u. I'm not married to my man yet, but we have set our date for november 11th and he will still b inside. I kno that on my wedding day I will not hav tha dress, tha cake, tha flowers, and most of my family will not b there. I kno that my wedding night will b spent without my husband there physically. Tha reason I don't want to wait is because I love him, I kno that he loves me, and I'm ready to b his wife now, I don't want or need to wait. But this is just how I feel. I kno everyone is different. Good luck and don't let anyone pressure u cause if so you'll b unhappy with wat u decide. If u pray, ask for direction...

I love that your wedding date will be 11/11/11! That's awesome!