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Harv*sGirl · #26 12-09-2010, 11:19 PM

I have always "collected" spare children over the years. I love children, but I really got a run for my money with my ex husband daughter. We got custody of her from her alcoholic mom after she had been abused and neglected her whole life. She was 9 when she moved with me. To be honest she was very troubled and acted it out. Her behavior was bad. She had no manners, no people skills, was afraid of everything but acted out because of these fears. She lived with me for 7 years. She came along way, but to be honest it made my life stressful and miserable. Part of my misery was because my husband at the time (ex husband now) would not step up and help me with HIS daughter!

To be honest, if the child was young, say under 6 then I would feel like there was a real chance that the child could grow up and have a normal life, as long as the MOTHER left the child alone. If the mother kept coming back when it was convenient for her and screwing up the childs home life then it will be difficult. So honestly... if it was a young child I would but I cant do teenage girls... I know what I put my parents through at that age, and I think KARMA would get me. LOL!

Hiz Sunshine · #27 12-09-2010, 11:34 PM

Yes!!! I would hands doun take on the responsibility of his child, because he comes as a package. Just as I am a package with all the good and the bad that comes with it. You can not put conditions on a relationship, or it isnt true love.

**LeBeau** · #28 12-10-2010, 10:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by First Lady

Yes!!! I would hands doun take on the responsibility of his child, because he comes as a package. Just as I am a package with all the good and the bad that comes with it. You can not put conditions on a relationship, or it isnt true love.

We're not talking about a step child sort of situation, we're talking about the child of her friend's EX with a different mom. The lady faced with the decision does not even really know the child yet.
Loyalty within a relationship and the absolute moral imperative that everyone must accept their mate's children as part of the package are not the issues in this one, except that it would take a big, big man with a big, big heart to take on his wife/girlfriend's ex's daughter.

URSUNSHINE · #29 12-10-2010, 11:42 AM

A b s o l u t e l y not!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tinymom · #30 12-10-2010, 01:10 PM

Yes I would but with stipulations. First both parents would have to sign papers giving me soul custody. Second there would have to be visitation stipulations in the court order and I would have to know where the child was when with his/her parents so I would be assured the child was being taken care of. Third, if the Grandparents are involved in any way with the child, and it is positive involvement but (due to age, or other things), are unable to care for he child, I would want to have it in writing that they too would have visitation rights. I would only take responsibility for the child if these things were addressed because in order for me to provide a good home and upbringing for the child I would want to make sure the parents/grandparents didn't start playing football with the child (passing the child back and forth wanting him/her one day and not the other).

Lonzo's Lady.. · #31 12-10-2010, 01:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by qylaila

Okay, ladies I am getting advice for someone. Here is scenario, the mother of the child is wild and doesn't take care of her child anymore. She has dropped of her child at a family members house and has not gone back to get the child because her new young boyfriend doesn't like children. The ex is married to the streets and is irresponsible when it comes to raising the child. The ex is willing to pay all financial obligations for the child if you were to take on the responsibility. Given your relationship that you are in now with your man being locked up, would you take on the responsibility of raising your ex's child if you were ask to do so??

I'm sorry to say I personally would not. If I wanted another dependent I would do what it takes to get one but I don't and I won't. BTW I am 44 years old, I have a 28 y.o. daughter and a son who will be 12 on Xmas Eve, I currently have an almost 3y.o. grand daughter and a second one due in March 2011; I am very established in my career and very busy; I have served all the Mommy moments I want to and this is an offer I would decline. I would have no problem supporting his child financially but to actually have his child or another child period move in and occupy my space er

ugh

NO......Marcia

nakeisha99 · #32 12-10-2010, 01:56 PM

Me personally I would get written permission from both parents to care for this child, but otherwise, without a doubt.

jsjackson · #33 12-29-2010, 10:17 AM

Without a doubt yes I would. I have a daughter and if something was ever to happen or if the shoe was on the other foot I would EXPECT him to do all that he could for my daughter.

ellabella · #34 12-29-2010, 10:28 AM

Me? no. and my husband and I are planning an adoption. but in that case? no. definitely not.

And your friend had better be aware of the fact that this POS 'father' isn't going to be paying for everything, just because he says he is. If he cared at all, he'd be a parent. If she can afford to raise this child knowing she will be financially responsible, and that she probably could lose the child at the drop of a hat then yes.

Danielle88 · #35 12-30-2010, 12:52 AM

I would say yes because theyre his kids and dint feel like I have a choice, he wouldnt forgive me if I didnt.

CHIPCHANGE7315 · #36 02-03-2011, 09:10 PM

I do take care of my exs kid. my fiance is fine with it my ex is a scumbag i send money to him and he comes and stays with us on all his breaks if there was ever a problem where his mom couldnt handle it i would take him in a second

JHavokStar · #37 02-04-2011, 04:55 PM

I said I'd be unsure because afterall, if I've never met the child who's to say it wouldn't be a bad connection and I'd cause more damage to the child than relatives of the child were doing in the first place - I think I would take some time, meet with the child, assess the situation and make a decision - honestly, my man wouldn't have much of a say in it - he's in jail, he wouldn't have to do much about it - I'd probably end up taking the child in - one thing I cannot stand is seeing a child suffer or be neglected.