My hero, my husband

[kyrz]

In the military, we have laws that civilians don't. For example, cheating on your spouse, being apart of 'unlawful' groups. Our military police are held to a standard higher than most. If you're running your mouth about protecting the constitution while hoarding a collection of guns in your closet, and organizing a paintball team with patches, the word "militia" comes to mind. You're gonna end up in prison, as the government proved. If you're one of the people who said, "Whatever" to the invitation to be in said paintball team after accused ringleader was sentenced, well, regardless of how little you know about the situation, if your name is on his laptop as a member of his little group, then you're gonna wind up in prison too, as my husband and three others have realized. As MP's, they're held to a higher standard than most, and the government wants to set an example.
My husband is currently in Otero, Nm waiting to be transferred to a Naval brig in Chesapeake, VA. He has a brief, six month sentenced which is reduced to 5 months and 5 days with good behavior, and is swallowing two felonies and a bad conduct discharge from the Army. All for the ramblings of some guy who publicly did not like Obama. Despite his attorney's best efforts to get this entire, ridiculous, joke of a case dismissed, the government had their hands tied and had to pursue court marshalls with every single person the alleged "ringleader" named off. So here we are. Something that would have been a mockery, a "zombie fighting group" in the civilian world, is destroying lives of military members.
My husband and myself are capable people. Both of us being military means that his paycheck continues through his sentence. For that, I'm grateful. Unfortunately, having enlisted in the army immediately after high school and now having two felonies under his belt, his aspirations of civilian law enforcement are shot. With no other skills, we're looking at a struggle to find him work in the small town of Alamogordo where I am currently stationed for the next two years. My salary alone is not enough to support us comfortably, even with my allowances. As is, I'm looking at picking up a weekend job, possibly bartending or something, to ensure we have enough to live on when he gets out of prison and his pay and allowances cease, until he can find a job.
How do we do this? We're young, 20 and 23. In May, my one year mark in the military, I have access to my $15,000 GI bill, and while, ideally, I want to use that to get my degree, I feel I should let him use whatever he can for trade school, some sort of vocational schooling, or maybe community college, so he has a chance at a new career.
Despite everything, my husband still smiled and laughed after his sentencing. We joked around when he changed out of his ASU's into his ACU's with shackles around his boots, wrist, and chained to his waist. I saw him last night for the first and only time through a glass wall and spoke through a crackly phone. We tried to keep it light and casual, as our marriage is very easy-going and peaceful, but I couldn't stop crying, wishing I could take his place. He doesn't deserve to be in there. He tells me there's writings in pencil on the wall from other military members. A 2nd lieutenant received the death sentence for an extended period of AWOL. There were more, but I don't remember. Who knows if they're true? There's advice, "Keep your mind and body busy," and downers, "kill yourself." He sits in his white-walled cell for 23 hours a day, only leaving to shower. No phone calls, no writing, nothing, as nobody has told either of us how to go about sending him money, giving him minutes to call home. In fact, he didn't know he was going to VA until I told him, and I found out from one of his Sergeants at his company.
My husband has taken everything with grace. I have not seen him cry once. I expected it when he was sentenced, as his father was deported to Mexico the same day, and his mother is too ill to work and support herself, and he had planned on sending her money. Thankfully the judge took mercy and gave his pay forfeiture to me to send to her, although, he was unaware of this.
He keeps me strong, somehow. They say it's the first year of military marriages that make it or break it. Well, I guess if we can manage our first year, 11/12 months apart, then it will all be downhill from here. After my 6 months of training away from him, I was most thankful to be home, and definitely did not take for granted seeing him. Now, I realize I took for granted the little things like talking on the phone or texting. I hope my new military career will keep me busy enough that the time flies by, and I hope I can build us a home so he has somewhere to come home to. I just PCS'd to my base this week... I'm living in a hotel.

I never thought I'd struggle as a military member. We have it good. We work hard, but we have it good. Deployments make things difficult, but we tough through it. I can officially sympathize with military spouses and spouses of prisoners, as I'm now both. He's only been gone a week, and yet I feel like someone ripped away a huge chunk of my life. Somehow I have to pick up the pieces of this mess and give us a fresh start.

But where do I begin?

[nolaluv]

Kyrz- man, I don't even know where to begin! You and your husbands story stole my heart! I am fiancé to a federal inmate and sister to a soldier over seas whom has a wife here. I totally feel heart broken for you! I had to call my sister in law and read her your story. With both of our spouses away, we try to give each other comfort! We were both in tears as I read her your story! If you ever need anyone to talk too, I'm here! Keep your head up and stay strong! His time will fly by. My best advice is, cry when you need too. When u do get to see him or talk to him keep in light! Everything will fall into place!

[gymshoe]

First and for most Thank-you for serving this country. I'm a vet and so is my man. Second I'm so sorry that you are going through all this.
Hang in there, it gets easier as time passes. Which nobody can control, thank the lord.
Take time to breath and realize your gonna have good days and terrible days and it's ok.
I completely understand about feeling like a huge chunk of you and your life is missing - it's been a little over 6 months and I still feel that way - you will go through anger and depression and moments of loneliness that feel like they might crush you however; you are tougher than you think and stronger emotionally than you even know.
This site is amazing and the women on here make me laugh and realize I'm not losing my mind - u can't be if hundreds of others feel just like You do
Stay busy, focus on you and building your home and write write write - it helps to get it out.
Hold your head up and take care if you cause your man is gonna need you and you need him.