Am I being stupid? He says his phone isn't working, but he calls his friend

[Jsgirlx]

My boyfriend told me his phone wasnt working yet i bumped into one of his 'friends' the other day and said he had been ringing him and his mates quite often, these 'friends' that landed him where he is now, i told him that in order for us to be together he had to break away from them as they wer no good for him and i dont want them around our daughter growing up, im really angry that hes not only lied to me but gone behind my back, i really feel like giving him an ultimatum, i know hes going to turn it round and make me feel as if im overreacting though, any advice would be appreciated, im not too sure how to go about it, i am going to see him on monday, thanks guys x

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[KayGee19]

You have a child together. You have every right to give him an ultimatum. Especially if those "friends" of his played a role in landing him there. Don't allow him to take advantage of the situation and be dishonest. That's not fair. Best of luck to you. God bless. Your not stupid, btw.

[Patty]

People will treat you any old way unless you show them that you ain't the one to put up with all that. You obviously know you deserve better, make that happen.

[Straight]

Originally Posted by Jsgirlx

My boyfriend told me his phone wasnt working yet i bumped into one of his 'friends' the other day and said he had been ringing him and his mates quite often, these 'friends' that landed him where he is now, i told him that in order for us to be together he had to break away from them as they wer no good for him and i dont want them around our daughter growing up, im really angry that hes not only lied to me but gone behind my back, i really feel like giving him an ultimatum, i know hes going to turn it round and make me feel as if im overreacting though, any advice would be appreciated, im not too sure how to go about it, i am going to see him on monday, thanks guys x

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Here's the real question you need to ask yourself, and then you need to answer it. Honestly.

Do you really think you giving him an ultimatum will change how he thinks and behaves, or do you think it's more likely that he'll tell you what you want to hear and then work harder to go behind your back?

Think with your head. Look at the situation as it is, and do an honest assessment.

Any time you waste from this point forward is just time you don't get back.

You already know the answer. Now it's just a matter if you're ready for it.

Best of luck

[Klewis]

I think your man is showing you in an immature way that he is grown and he will do what he wants to do. I think it wouldn't have hurt so bad if he was calling you then you found out he was calling his old friends but to know that he is putting them before you and your child well hell that says an awful lot. That says he is not working on change, maturing, honesty, dedication and being a role model. So what do you have he can say love but his actions does not really say that. Do you send him money and if so does he call you around the time when he really need something? I think at this point even if you spoke to him about it he just sounds to immature to get it. Like someone else said he will just find ways like telling them not to ever tell you that he be calling them. But his actions definitely do make it seem like he will be having another course of this meal and that will be so sad for you.

[lovemipapi]

well, sometimes too tho we can not pick and chose who our men hang w/or talk to... but we can decide what we will and will not tolerate! We can decide if we will put up w/the ish or not. If your sending money to him to buy snacks n so forth...he's able to call them that way? or does where he's at have to call collect on his friends dime? i'm asking cuz now if he can pay for calls off his books then your paying for him to talk to ppl you don't want him to talk to...along w/his calling them and not even calling YOU! grrrrrrrrr

Chances are he will tell you wat you wanna hear, and who know's he might not even do that much seeing as he's not even calling you and lien and sayin his fon is not set up even! That's a shame that he wont call you! Even more so then the fact he's talking to those that helped land him in prison! Right now my guess is he thinks they are gonna help take care of him...which that's not gonna happen his so called friends will soon stop answering his calls anyways.

You have a lot to think bout! I'm so sorry he's treating you this way!

[Jsgirlx]

Yea im really in two minds on wether to stay with him or not, i mean before he went away things werent exactly great, and i do feel the only thing that was keepin us together was our baby girl, he left when she was 2weeks old and to be fair he wasnt really there through the pregnancy cos he was too busy with 'his boys' when i was in slow labour he had his mates round and i was lying on the floor in agony an they wer just stepping over me :O he didnt even think to send them away and comfort me!!, i just feel like hes not going to change like he says he gonna, and the one thing stopping me from breaking it off is the fact that apart from his mum and 2brothers, me and our daughter are all he has and im scared of what it will do to him in there, what a horrible situation ive got myself into! :-( i love him so much but im not inlove with him anymore. The phone, hes nt even mena have so i was really made up when i gt told it wasnt working to find out hes lied an called mates instead. Oh i dont know i wish people could make these kind of decisions for you, i dont want to hurt him but its gettin me down abit too much now, im gonna see how monday goes and with abit of luck my head will be alot clearer, thankyou for your comments everyone x

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[NeverDull]

Wait, wait, wait...you were in LABOR with HIS child and they were literally stepping over you and he was acting like it was nothing??? What's wrong with this dude?? And no you and your daughter are NOT the only people there for him...he's made it very clear that his friends are a higher priority than you...let them deal with him! He's lying to you about the phone...there's no magical reason why it would work when it's time to call his friends and then magically it's broken when it's time to call you. He doesn't deserve you! More importantly you ad especially your daughter do not deserve to be treated like discarded trash! Unbelievable. .

[lovemipapi]

I actually don't have words at this moment from this! This is more and worse then jus the lien bout the fon!

He is selfish and don't care bout anything except his wants!
Don't worry bout what it'll do to him if you chose to walk away.

Never stay with sum1 cuz you think they are all they have, and never stay with sum1 cuz you feel bad for leaving!
You shuld only stay cuz ur happy in a relationship period! (and obviously it doesn't apply to normal downs for the ups n downs cuz every relationship will have ups n downs) but my point is stay cuz ur happy, cuz you love, and are being loved back. To me, it doesn't appear as tho your being loved at all...

Originally Posted by Jsgirlx

Yea im really in two minds on wether to stay with him or not, i mean before he went away things werent exactly great, and i do feel the only thing that was keepin us together was our baby girl, he left when she was 2weeks old and to be fair he wasnt really there through the pregnancy cos he was too busy with 'his boys' when i was in slow labour he had his mates round and i was lying on the floor in agony an they wer just stepping over me :O he didnt even think to send them away and comfort me!!, i just feel like hes not going to change like he says he gonna, and the one thing stopping me from breaking it off is the fact that apart from his mum and 2brothers, me and our daughter are all he has and im scared of what it will do to him in there, what a horrible situation ive got myself into! :-( i love him so much but im not inlove with him anymore. The phone, hes nt even mena have so i was really made up when i gt told it wasnt working to find out hes lied an called mates instead. Oh i dont know i wish people could make these kind of decisions for you, i dont want to hurt him but its gettin me down abit too much now, im gonna see how monday goes and with abit of luck my head will be alot clearer, thankyou for your comments everyone x

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[Patty]

Jsgirlx ~ What would you tell a girlfriend, sister, your daughter if she were in this situation?