Once I start thinking it seems oh so far away

[Rlsbby4eva]

So our plea deal was 8 yrs.. once I start thinking that this has just begun it seems so far away. The more I think if it the more frustrating it is. Then I read all the people that have waited already for a long time n I envy them. Because it makes me realize that we have just begun. I read that people say time flies. But I feel like mine hasn't n it saddens me all the time we have left. So far it only has been 4 months n its killing me, it's kinda scary to think if all the time that's remaining.
Any words of lift up would b great. N I know I have to keep busy.

[FiFi n Miles]

You will get through it. At first things are rough but if you are strong and have that unique love then you will be fine.

FiFi

[starlightsgirl]

Originally Posted by lorena0617

So our plea deal was 8 yrs.. once I start thinking that this has just begun it seems so far away. The more I think if it the more frustrating it is. Then I read all the people that have waited already for a long time n I envy them. Because it makes me realize that we have just begun. I read that people say time flies. But I feel like mine hasn't n it saddens me all the time we have left. So far it only has been 4 months n its killing me, it's kinda scary to think if all the time that's remaining.
Any words of lift up would b great. N I know I have to keep busy.

You both staying strong as one is the key into making it through the 7 years and 8 months that your man has left to go. I remember when it took 8 months for my man to just be sentenced and he was just in the local jail. The first years are going to be the hardest I will be honest with that. But has long as you do everything to have your life and be by his side you will pull through this together as a couple. God Bless and the bestest of wishes to you both.

[denisegallegos]

Yeah i agree feels like the ol clock is ticking slow!
There is not a lot of advice other than live life. Continue doing things that will get u through, paying the bills, supporting my kids and him inside is whats important.

[R. Lindsey]

Yeah, I know the feeling. My man has a 9 yr sentence. As you can see it's we have over 3 yrs to go. I'll be honest, it hasn't been easy, it's a tough ride but it's so important that somehow you renew your strength every now and then. It is possible to get through this even when it seems like it may not be. I felt like you just only last year! Then I realized that when these 8 mths are gone then he'll only have two more years left which will be a jiffy to get through. Because that's only 24 months left of his sentence. You never loose hope because anything can happen between now and then that can get him out sooner. If your man only has to do 50% of his time then he'll be out quick. Mine has to do 85%. So for me, it helped to take it easier by counting down the months til it hits the following year. It helped me to keep in mind that there is only 12 months in a year so it didn't seem so long.

[Princess1029]

It honestly does go quick...I never in my life thought I'd say this time is flying, but it is. I have a to do list & I panic I wont have it done...just write lots, I started school, I got a part time job..just do whatever keeps you occupied it'll go quicker than you think.

[Bigbirdsgirl83]

Time flies for us until we stop to think about it then it seems like an eternity..... I now have a new date to look forward to.... in july my boo gets his touch visits back that means I have to go 6 months with out a new picture and only will prolly get three visits bc I have to share his visits with his parents I guess times like these bring blessings that there are only four of us who visit cuz if I had to share anymore I'd go crazy

[looneyslady]

I agree, I think the more you think about it the slower time goes. I have 6 years left to go before my hubby comes home and 5 years have flown by already. Keeping yourself occupied helps a lot. I just can't wait to start my countdown for his homecoming.

[TraeNBoo]

Try to keep busy, they are right it goes by faster when you have less idle time. However, it doesn't stop you from thinking about him and missing him, I find my mind drifts off all the time. Staying busy though helps keep that time shorter. You can do it!

[Rlsbby4eva]

Thank you ladies, ur words mean alot because u ladies know where I m coming from. So it s encouraging to know that. How many years have u ladies done already. Btw he has to do 85% of his time.
Do 85rs have a chance to go to firecamp? Im in CA

[dedicatedwoman]

Hi girl. I didn't really read the responses. I wanted to give a response based purely on my own emotions and feelings.

Time really does start to fly. And I HATE when people say that. I truly do... Especially in the beginning but when you look back you will see.

In the first bid with *my love* I'd be like holy hell how can I do this? It was 4 years and I was only 19 when he went away. But you take it day by day. Minute by minute if you have to. And guess what? We conquered those four years with flying colors. We've been through a lot together and it only made us stronger.

He came home over the summer, and lemme tell you it wasn't easy. Unfortunately he went back due to a glitch in the system (really ) its horrible because now we are pregnant and he has to return to prison for something that he had no control over. And here we are again.

We haven't gone to sentencing yet but could be lookin at another 3.5 years at the minimum. I will be by his side. The DOC cannot rob me of love. They can keep physically for now but they can't destroy our bond.

Our love is too strong to be destroyed by the DOC.

Don't look at the sentence. Change your focus.

[Rlsbby4eva]

Originally Posted by dedicatedwoman

Hi girl. I didn't really read the responses. I wanted to give a response based purely on my own emotions and feelings.

Time really does start to fly. And I HATE when people say that. I truly do... Especially in the beginning but when you look back you will see.

In the first bid with *my love* I'd be like holy hell how can I do this? It was 4 years and I was only 19 when he went away. But you take it day by day. Minute by minute if you have to. And guess what? We conquered those four years with flying colors. We've been through a lot together and it only made us stronger.

He came home over the summer, and lemme tell you it wasn't easy. Unfortunately he went back due to a glitch in the system (really ) its horrible because now we are pregnant and he has to return to prison for something that he had no control over. And here we are again.

We haven't gone to sentencing yet but could be lookin at another 3.5 years at the minimum. I will be by his side. The DOC cannot rob me of love. They can keep physically for now but they can't destroy our bond.

Our love is too strong to be destroyed by the DOC.

Don't look at the sentence. Change your focus.

Sorry to hear ur here again on these circumstances. Your words r very encouraging. I want to get to the part where I look back n see that time did indeed flied. I will try not to focus on the sentence n take it day by day. N hope that there is programs that he can get into to lessen the time.

[JAKLTS2798]

as others have said, time does go quick, though some days it feels like a snails pace.. but soon, you'll look back and go, wow its been that long already!?
J was sentenced to 1.6yrs state, and 8.4yrs fed - we're just about to hit 3yrs left (come on march 9!!)..
you'll find your "groove" - for us, we look forward to little marks and milestones (seems to help time move quicker).. so we look forward to monthly visits, transfers to lower prisons and camps, renew of minutes (cause 300 goes really quick some months), birthdays and holidays.. we talk alot about what the future holds, like we would if he were here.. dont get me wrong, some days i look at a calendar and say OMG, 3yrs still?!? thats a long freaking time.. im just now starting to countdown again - we're almost at 1000days (counting in days works for me, makes it seem less than counting in years or months)..
best advice - stay busy.. and some days will seem harder and longer than others, but in the end its worth every minute (heck, after 10yrs, we've got alot of making up to do lol)..

[Ms Catt]

Originally Posted by lorena0617

Thank you ladies, ur words mean alot because u ladies know where I m coming from. So it s encouraging to know that. How many years have u ladies done already. Btw he has to do 85% of his time.
Do 85rs have a chance to go to firecamp? Im in CA

Yes babe he can go to fire camp but he has to be non violence offender , Welcome to our world you will be fine your at the right door now of much needed support we all care and understand so come crying screaming we here to listen Sister2Sisters

[Rlsbby4eva]

Thank u very much, because this is the only place that we all know what we r talking about being that we r all in the same circumstances. Love that we can count on eachother ) thank u

[dalesgirl]

When i started this process I didnt make it. I left him and went on with my life. We then got back together and I am thankful for the time we had apart. We both grew up.We are both ready now for a healthy relationship.
There are many things that help me. First we break it down. The first was time with only letters. Then we had time with letters and phone calls. Now we get to visit too.
We mark every one month anniversary of being together.
We are counting the day to my birthday, to our wedding (10/22/12) and to him coming home (11/22/13). We count days and not months or years and it seems to help. By running a countdown on the top of all of his letters, it helps me to see that time is passing. 237 days till we get married and 633 until he comes home.

We try to see this in a positive. He's done a lot of time, so he stays in today and helps me to do the same. I try not to see this as a barrier but as time for us to deepen our bond and our communication. We talk about everyday decisions just like a husband and wife would do.

I also keep busy. I am working and going back to school. I attend 12 step meetings and hang out with healthy friends. I have hobbies. These help pass the time and make our conversations a lot more interesting.

You can do it, one day at a time. Just focus on today.

[Megan&Matthew]

In Arkansas how much of a five years sentence do you have to serve?

[meaghandarnell]

I remember how it was at first for me.. I didn't think I could make it. The best thing I can possibly tell you to do is LIVE. Go out with your girlfriends have lunch, work, do everything you can to keep you positive. This really isn't easy at first but you get used to it. I don't know about time flying by but i know that, like some other females said, marking things to look forward to help. Instead of counting down until he comes home set something in the month your looking forward too.. like a new movie? or a birthday? That's when the months will go by faster. And also stay on this site for support!! I wish i would've found it sooner than I did lol.

[NeedaBoo]

Originally Posted by lorena0617

So our plea deal was 8 yrs.. once I start thinking that this has just begun it seems so far away. The more I think if it the more frustrating it is. Then I read all the people that have waited already for a long time n I envy them. Because it makes me realize that we have just begun. I read that people say time flies. But I feel like mine hasn't n it saddens me all the time we have left. So far it only has been 4 months n its killing me, it's kinda scary to think if all the time that's remaining.
Any words of lift up would b great. N I know I have to keep busy.

I know it seems like forever but once you guys establish some sort of a routine the time goes by quick. My hubby has also been gone for 4 months which when I think back went by kind of fast. Keep yourself busy and surround yourself with positive people that support you and are there for you no matter what. If you are interested in going back to school or picking up some hobbies this is a great time to do it. I know its hard but I bet that you guys are learning so much more about each other with him being gone trough letters and calls than you did when he was home since you both probably had a lot of other things going on. At least you know he's coming home eventually since some of us aren't that fortunate. Keep your head up

[Floridafriend]

Speaking from a guys point of view, I think it's as admirable as one can get when they stick by their mate when they are down and out. May God bless you all and I hope your man gives as much as receives.

[mrsindecisions]

I felt at first that time was going so slowly, but now its been 15 months & I keep thinking "wow, I can't believe that much time has passed already!" I'm just now really starting to make time pass quicker by being more positive and getting out of the house more. I'm trying to find little hobbies to make the next 3 years more tolerable!

Sent via Android ♡996 days // 11.20.2014♡

[eroro1608]

Me and mine-we were down to a year. Then he gets a new case for something that supposedly happened 2 weeks before the one now, it'll be about 5 years until this is over. To be honest, it isn't even about how long it is. I wasn't always like that. When we first started this I would really get upset about the time and he told me if I keep stressing on how far away it is then it WILL go slow. This last year has flown by, I didn't think I would be able to say that but it has. Find ways to keep yourself busy out here and take it one day at a time.

[Cara1947]

I understand sooooo much. We're on 3 into 15 and once in a while, it does rest on my shoulder. But, I stay busy and have lots of things to take care of. I find those "lost" days happen when the weather is stinking and I can't work outside . . . or when I've let myself get physically worn out . . . or I'm under a lot of stress at work . . .

Knowing that, I am able to ride those times out. I feel it's just part of the roller coaster.

PTO gets a lot of the credit for teaching me I CAN do this, even on the rotten days. Remember to BREATHE.

(((HUGS)))

[Rlsbby4eva]

Imma take u ladies word for it. Imma look back soon n say this "time flew by".. thank you ladies appreciate ur advices