I'm happy but can't stop crying

[afirsttimer]

Well mine gets out again on the 24th, 10 more days. I should be happy right? Wrong. I am happy but I can't stop crying. I mean, don't get me wrong, I am so happy but at the same time I can't stop crying. I don't know what is wrong with me. He wants to get married the week after he gets released. I got him to think it's a good idea to do it in July (our anniversary). We're going to pick rings out the day I pick him up. He wants to start wearing his ring as soon as he gets it. I told him he can't. He has to wait until we take our vows. I really love him but I can't stop crying. For those of you that know my story you would remember he violated twice. I can't do this anymore and I told him if he violates again I couldn't put myself through it again. He understands that. Maybe that is why I am crying. Am I scared of the future?

Also, about the marriage. I had a conversation with a coworker who's also a minister and he asked me if I'm ready to get married and the wedding is the easy part, it's the marriage that is difficult. I am not worried about the marriage. He is my best friend. We have a great relationship and we have a true partnership in and out. I'm not worried about that. I am worried about the wedding. Is this normal? I don't want a big to do. I just want to go to the justice of the peace. He wants a ceremony and everything. What's going on with me?