Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

deedeeortiz · #1 04-02-2012, 08:32 PM

My son has been locked up in the co jail for over 2 years. We have been through 2 trials. The first one was 8 innocent/4 guilty. This time he was guilty and will be sentenced on the 19th. My son was accused of murder. I never knew any details until the first trial. Everyone who sat through both trials don't know how they came back with 12 guilty. He was married and has 2 small children. His wife had him served with divorce papers the 3rd day of the 2nd trial. My other son, his twin brother, died of a brain tumor 4 years ago. Our family has been through so much. I'm not able to be comforting for my other children, and my oldest son isn't even speaking to me now. When my son was found guilty, I fell apart and went to the coast with my best friend since childhood. I was a basket case and felt it as best to get away to try to deal with this. I believe my son has had a mental breakdown since being in jail. He refuses help, so nothing is being done. He has been in lockdown since he's been in the jail. Now he is looking at 50/life. The county has now got him moved out of the county jail, because of his behaviors. He went to court today for that. Now they will send him to a prison 100 miles away until he is sentenced later this month.

I thought nothing in my life could be as bad as watching my other son die from a terminal tumor. This feels as bad, if not worse. I can't hardly breath at times because this hurts so bad. I will probably die before my son is ever free again. His children will never know their father, there only 3 & 5 now. How do parents deal with this?

momother · #2 04-03-2012, 06:04 AM

I feel your pain. And can understand what youre going thru. My son was sentenced to 20 yrs. We have been on this rollercoaster for 6 yrs. Take one day at a time. Don't count the time ahead, count each day as one day closer to homecoming. I don't know if I will be alive when my son gets out either as I'm 60 now. We never know what is in store for our future, we can only do the best we can while we are in this world. I never have lost a child to a terminal illness, can't imagine that one. When my son was sentenced I wanted to do bodily harm to the prosecutor, stood up and went for him, my family pulled me back down. I don't remember the incident at all, except what they told me. So I guess I lost it for a while also. I was a basket case for well over a week. Crying at a drop of a hat all kinds of things. Decided to pull myself together as I would have to be strong for my son. Here I am 6 yrs into sentence. Still strong for my son....A mother's love is an undying love....Hang in there you will make it one hour....day at a time. Hugs and prayers going your way..

Bamagirl49 · #3 04-03-2012, 06:15 AM

Welcome to our family iam so sorry for your loss of your son
I just want you to look ahead and trust me it is only one day at a time we love our children no matter what they have done hang in there and let us know what's going on
You might want to take a antidepressant it will help you I never wanted to take one and had to
I'm off now with time things will hopefully get into a routine
My son is in for 20 years and we are just at the start. I'm glad you came here

wickit · #4 04-04-2012, 10:56 AM

Welcome to PTO!
I am so sorry for what has happened to you and your family! You will find comfort, support and much information on our site! (((HUG!)))

Here4Us · #5 04-04-2012, 12:31 PM

Oh DeeDee, my heart breaks for you and your family and all you have had to go through. You are obviously stronger than you think because you have endured so much already and you are still standing! I am at the very very beginning of this journey with my son, and have already found so much strength here just knowing that I am not alone. We can do this and we will do it--one step at a time, one day at a time, side by side. Sending you hugs.

NanaMom · #6 04-04-2012, 03:20 PM

OHHH DeeeDeee.... I feel soooo bad for you and your son....so sorry you lost one son thru sickness...I cannot imagine how you are getting thru life day by day...I have two sons in prison both of them got sentenced to 15yrs each..One has been in for 11yrs now and the other for 8yrs...My prayers are with you..I am so depressed because of my age..I am 75yrs old...My one son has to serve to Sept. 15 2014 and not one day sooner..The other has a parole hearing comming up..I am hoping and praying that God will let me stay here until they get out..I want to at least have a little time to be with them here at home...I actually feel bad talking about myself and my sons, because they will be out of that place while you are going thru so much pain not knowing how much time he will even get..Miracles do happen,,I say that everyday..Pray to God for that Miracle.....I won't lie to you I cry everday that goes by just knowing how old I am and how much time I have missed them...My mom died from dementia at 78yrs and I beg God if he lets me live, please let me also know what is going on in life...Sooo I have talked about myself instead of giving you some ((HUGS))...Words cannot say what I feel for you........HOPE just HOPE.! xoxoxo NanaMom xoxoxo

tglsmom · #7 04-04-2012, 04:24 PM

I am so sorry that you are suffering so much right now. Losing a son and having another in prison seems unbearable. This is a difficult road that we're on, for sure, and one that none of us thought we would ever have to travel. My son is serving an 11.5 year sentence. We're not even half way through and I still have trouble accepting his sentence. The way that I get through it is by taking it one day at a time and offering him all my love and support. I write often, send books, and try to visit every two months. We are closer than we've been in years. There is no guarantee that I will be alive when he gets out, but I try to make the most of the time we have now and be appreciative for the little things that most people take for granted. Once your son is sentenced, I hope things will get a little easier. Keep coming here for advice and support - it will help you. You don't even have to post anything - just reading daily is often all I need to feel encouraged and hopeful. I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

asmom · #8 04-04-2012, 07:12 PM

Deedee, I am so sorry for your pain and also for what your son is going through. I pray that he finds peace in his heart and that he can find the strength to deal with what lays ahead. I wish so much I could take all the pain away for you and him but it's not possible. Know that you and him are not alone in this.... we're here with you along the way. Take care and God bless.