Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

RuthieBee · #1 04-20-2012, 04:23 AM

This is an exerpt from a blog entry of a current inmate.... Its been on my mind for a few weeks and I hate to hear this, and don't want to believe this is normal, but I have to assume it is. What do you think, is it common, or a sensationalized piece?

“You see, you spend all day over there in education and think that everything around here is mellow, but let tell you something. Life can really be bad for some of the guys around here – you don’t even know. You have no idea the shit that goes on and the messes that some of these guys are in: sucking dick for ten guys and then turning around and going to commissary for them. But I don’t do any of that to you.
“Let me ask you this: What if I just slapped down a commissary list and said, ‘Here. Go pick this shit up.’ What would you do?”
“I wouldn’t do it,” I said weakly,
“So then – say – I beat the shit out of you. What then?”
“I still wouldn’t do it….”
“Yes you would. You know why? Because you’re weak. You’re not a fighter, and here in prison, it’s either fight or flight.”
“So then why did you move in with me?” I asked.
“Because I like you. I like you a lot, and you’ve got a lot to learn about prison. You’re naive. You think that bitch of yours is gonna stick around forever? They’ll pack it up before long – I guarantee it. They all disappear. Sure, your family will probably still be there, but the rest means shit.

RuthieBee · #2 04-20-2012, 07:49 AM

with the amount of views this post got, and the lack of responses, it's solidifying the fear. i know why everyone is silent.

tear.

li_love · #3 04-21-2012, 08:01 AM

I believe it's common, but no one wants to think about that part of it. It's very real and it happens.

RuthieBee · #4 04-21-2012, 08:39 AM

thank you for posting. women's prison is awfully different. no wonder so many men just don't talk about their experience when they return home.

KaRaeBlue · #5 04-21-2012, 08:54 AM

I don't believe it happens to everyone but it does happen. There are inmates that teach younger inmates the 'ropes' and my hubby has told new inmates to prepare for everyone walking away, girls and family.

As for the sexual favors, that happens too. A few years ago where hubby was they placed condom dispensers in the day room and he was so upset bcuz he felt it would make the problem worse (how some feel about providing condoms in schools). He said it was an invitation to "go f&ck ur cellie" and that behavior should not be accepted and aided. I felt it was a good thing bcuz then at least they can be safe, but if it rape they most likely won't think about that.

Getting to the fight or flight....my SIL told hubby she can fight so no one would mess w her if she got locked up and he looked at her and said "Ball up ur fist bcuz they'd make u use them in here. U say u can fight? You'd have to prove that."

The way our prisons are set up create a constant unsettling environment. How peaceful can it really be? It is my job to bring the 'light' into my husbands life and nurture his soul while he is around all that ugliness.

And this brings me to the understanding we must have when they return home to us. Right now we hear wonderful things bcuz we are their dreams and when he hits those gates and the world smacks him in his face we still have to nurture his soul and have his back the same way we did when he was in.

RuthieBee · #6 04-21-2012, 10:30 AM

@ KaRae above^^^^

applause...."standing ovation"

you have a way with words...and would hope every person at home waiting, read your post.

clap,clap,clap!

MrsCetina · #7 04-21-2012, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RuthieBee

This is an exerpt from a blog entry of a current inmate.... Its been on my mind for a few weeks and I hate to hear this, and don't want to believe this is normal, but I have to assume it is. What do you think, is it common, or a sensationalized piece?

“You see, you spend all day over there in education and think that everything around here is mellow, but let tell you something. Life can really be bad for some of the guys around here – you don’t even know. You have no idea the shit that goes on and the messes that some of these guys are in: sucking dick for ten guys and then turning around and going to commissary for them. But I don’t do any of that to you.
“Let me ask you this: What if I just slapped down a commissary list and said, ‘Here. Go pick this shit up.’ What would you do?”i
“I wouldn’t do it,” I said weakly,
“So then – say – I beat the shit out of you. What then?”
“I still wouldn’t do it….”
“Yes you would. You know why? Because you’re weak. You’re not a fighter, and here in prison, it’s either fight or flight.”
“So then why did you move in with me?” I asked.
“Because I like you. I like you a lot, and you’ve got a lot to learn about prison. You’re naive. You think that bitch of yours is gonna stick around forever? They’ll pack it up before long – I guarantee it. They all disappear. Sure, your family will probably still be there, but the rest means shit.

My husband did his time in la county jail, maximum security and he didnt have these problems to worry about. Sexual stuff is a huge no no and will get you f***ed up in there. His biggest concern was constantly being prepared for riots against other races and/or the sherriffs dept. I dont have any direct experience with the state prisons so i cant say what goes on in them. Our friend in centinela sends letters sometimes but we havent visited him and he doesnt mention anything like this in his letters.

Kayla28 · #8 04-22-2012, 07:10 AM

My guy has been in he county jail, a state prison, and a federal prison. According to him, he county jail is where they figt over food and getting commisary. Since the county jails only hold inmates for less than a year, sexual assualt is not as common. State prison is where I have heard of sexual assualt and issues regarding gays being abused. Now in federal prison, homosexuality is a big no no. It is second to child molestors. If you attempt to rape someone in a federal prison the whole block will be on you. My guy has been in an fdc, fci, and usp so all levels of federal prison. The issue in those places is racial and gangs. If you are white, you stick with white. If a white guy is being a bitch and you are white, you make him check himself in and if he doesnt you have to fight him because you know the one white guy who is acting out will cause a larger racial fight that gets even more violent. If you are a child molestor or rapist, you are definitely not going to be treated well in prison. That puts you on the bottom of the totum pole.

And as for when they return home, direct your inmate to counseling. Probably with a female as they most likely won't trust a male because of how bad the guards are. You can't be the ones to take on all of their problems. They have to be able to open up and make their own life better than when they went in! All we as supporters of inmates can do is tell them how important, special, and capable of good things they can be. Write, email if possible, send books, magazines, jokes, whatever. And take care of yourself. Know hat them going to incarceration wasn't your fault and do the best you can!