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Domestic Violence Q & A What is domestic violence? If someone is being abused what can you do to help? Q&A regarding domestic violence issues go here.

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  #1  
Old 07-25-2004, 10:28 PM
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Question No contact order~ how does this work???

My husband is in prison right now, has been since April..... we don't know exactly when he will be released.......... but my question is for information on what to do once he is released. He is in California, and I came back to Canada once this "incident" occoured. When he does get released , our plan is for him to enter into an extensive treatment program for 13-15 months, in which time I will remain here in my country. To my understanding, if a parolee can walk out the 13 months of parole once released without any violations, he will be off of parole, his PO told me that. But what I am inquiring about..... is are there any more facts anyone could help me with..... the details. I did not press charges or even get a restraining order, which I know in CA they don't need you to for the abuser to be sent to prison, but will that make any difference now? Thanks anyone for your information, it is greatly appreciated!
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Old 07-26-2004, 12:05 AM
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Let me see if I can be of any help here. The title of your thread mentions "No Contact Order" However, it appears that your inquiries did not touch on this subject. I would imagine that when he was sentenced, there was a "No Contact Order" issued. The difference it would make is the expiration date of the order. Even though you did not file the order, the judge issued the order because of the nature of his offense, which I'm assuming is domestic violence against you. Some orders have no expiration date, in which case, your guy will never be able to have contact with you or there might be conditions that he must meet before the order is lifted.

What you will need to find out is what is the expiration date and/or conditions by which the "No Contact Order" will expire. If he comes in contact with you before the expiration date, he will violate his parole and be sent back to prison. Even if he makes it off parole, this still does not mean he can have contact with you if the order has not expired. So, the most important thing here is to find out when and if the "No Contact Order" expires.
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Old 07-26-2004, 01:01 AM
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Thanks Nubeginning~

Ya, I guess I didn't spell out that what I was referring to was our no contact order.. my bad. Like I said, he has not been released yet, the date is set mid October, but he will go to court then, and they are going to decide then wether or not to release him. So really, we don't even have the "no contact order" yet, I found out that we would have one as past of his parole condition because when this occured back in April, his PO and I had that conversation. We will find out the details on what that entalis when he goes to court I guess. We are knoing already that he will be in the treatment center without any visits from me at all for that 13-15 months, and we don't plan on anyway violating his parole by seeing each other before our reunion is permitted, that is the stupidest thing someone could do in my opinion!! Really what I am wondering is another persons experience with this issue..... most likely in CA, becase it will probably differ in each state, and I guess somewhat for each case as well. I have heard many different things, and although there is no sure way to know how things will turn out until our court date arrives, I just want the heads up on the probbabilities.
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Old 07-26-2004, 11:38 PM
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Oh ok.... Hopefully, someone will come along that can share their story and/or experience. Have you tried doing a search in the Domestic Violence Forum? I don't have first-hand experience with this matter, but someone close to me was issued a permanent no-contact order for domestic violence, but it was after repeatedly violating the order and committing domestic offenses.
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Old 08-16-2004, 10:07 PM
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It's common that a lot of judges will lift the no-contact order once the treatment of whatever kind is completed...especially if the victim does not feel they are in fear any longer.
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Old 10-24-2005, 12:31 AM
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My husband got 5.5 years of jail time for domestic. Well for the domestic part it was only 6 months, and the other 5 was for that we discussed on the phone me leaving so i woulndt have to testify and he could get out. So he got a felony on witness tampering, even though this advise came from his lawyer. I was just stupid enough mention it on the phone knowing that they were recording everything. My hubby has a parole hearing this April, and if he gets out he will have no contact order with me or our son. It kills me like no one would ever believe. And i dont know how one can not break that stupid order. I want to be the one to pick him up from jail and i want him to come home to me and our son and not some strange place. I've asked around how can i have that order modified and no one really seems to know I wrote a letter to domestic violance unit, but doubtfull they would help. From what i understand their job is to permenantly separate us. So Oscar if you find out something about how those orders work and if you can get rid of them please us know.
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Old 10-25-2005, 03:26 AM
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i feel for you, I too have not had any contact with my old man since last , last March. There is a r.o. and his brother told me that he said that he was told he could never again ahve contact in any way with me, ironically and heart breaking is that my man had straightened out, he was yelling real loud, police came, photos in court showed no physical abuse, but there had been pictures of a incident 1 and a half years prior, and I had a black eye and apparently I was being watched because the pictures were of me at various locations, burger king, my daughters school, etc,, When My man seen me in court his eyes flooded with tears, my heart was and still is breakin ever since, the d.a. only had the past incident in which I did not heed the subpoena and so my man walked that time and so this time the police went into my home arrested me, not invited in either, and there was 2 letters of my babys where he's telling me to please try and stay clear of any police or da officials, well you know the rest, that was what got my baby time, he was taking it to the box until the d.a. asked the judge to have me in jail during the entire trial, but then my baby took the plea bargain and when our eyes met there existed in him a lost hope, I kinda was looking at his eyes as if they were the windows to my soiul, I was broken , and he never looked at me again, I asked the public defender to ask him to look at me, I wanted to say I love you but he wouldn't, I walked as slow as I could backwards practically hoping my baby would look up but he remained with his head down. I moved out of Fresno and I live up by Frisco, I talk to his sister-in-law who says that my baby is unaware of my feelings, my whereabouts, our daughters medical state, I can only imagine what he is thinking, I pray he still loves me, I have contacted an attorney but hesway too expensive, I want ther.o. lifted, the sorrow inside of me is taking its toll. My man Steve is in Avenal, I would love to see him and tell him I am still in love with him but I cannot do anything===how frustrating, devestating, and how wrong to put my baby in prison for a past that we were already able to look back on, I believe God is the only solution for this and all situations, I wish you luck, stay true, stay strong, stay down, God Bless you and yours,,, Donna
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Old 12-20-2005, 11:02 AM
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Im curious how to go about getting rid of the no-contact parole issue myself...its making my husband get crazy ideas to run once he hits the gate straight outta cali...especially since they gave him a 2nd strike for something that petty. also curious to know were or are you able to visit him while in prison? cause i was still able to visit while he was in county jail...heck we even got married in county before he left for reception, in otherwords does the no-contact start when he's paroled or is every case different...in our case there was no act of violence whatsoever just his nosey po listening to the answering machine and filing charges over a dumb ass message my husband left cause he was spun out on drugs and acting like a fool.
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Old 12-22-2005, 12:00 AM
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I dont know about anywhere else but here in Indiana a "NO CONTACT" order means NO CONTACT what so ever at all rather it be through the mail, verbal as in on the phone, internet as in email messenger or anythin related to the computer, and most of all in person! This does also include third party contact say for instance him writing someone and telling them to pass on a messege to you in some sort of way that can also break the no contact order !!!! Just be careful and i hope you two get everything straightened out!!!! And also becareful cause the way i read it there has been some kind of domestic abuse in the past and i hate to see history repeat itself!!!! Take care !!!!!
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Old 05-03-2006, 04:45 PM
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Default No Contact Order

I am currently suffering the same situation where as my boyfriend is in jail after pleading guilty to corporal injury to a domestic partner. my injuries were a result of me trying to take the knife away from him because he was starting to cut his throat. in the struggle the knife went into my neck, cut two veins and a nerve that controls my right arm. I do not feel he is responsible for these injuries. however they view this as a domestic issue and there is a No contact order in place for 6 months. He hasn't had his formal sentencing yet and so I have no clue how long he will get. he has no priors and hasn't been arrested for anything as an adult. I feel like I am the one being punished here, and I have gone before the judge to ask that the no contact order be lifted, but it was denied. In all of the court appearences I have not been allowed or was asked not to be there. No one has asked me once what it is I want. I will get to make a victim impact statement at his formal hearing but I'm afraid by then it will be too late for him. How many times can you go before a judge to ask that a no contact order be lifted? I am told that I can break the order but not sure how or if that will cause problems for my boyfriend. I just want him home with me, he's never raised a hand to me in the 3 years we have been together...i love him and my feelings haven't wavered since all this happened. Does anyone have a clue on how to proceed on this issue of the No Contact Order?
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Old 12-07-2006, 07:08 PM
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I'm in a similar situation. My b/f was arrested in late October for 3rd Degree Assault on me. He went out with a friend one night, came back at 4 in the morning and I was upset that he hadn't been honest with me about what he was doing. He got trashed. He had to work that morning at 7, so I immaturely shouted in his ear to wake up and acted pretty unreasonably. Now he's incarcerated til February...so I think (they've been wrong before). There is a temporary restraining order which is supposed to last til the end of his sentence, 180 days Work Release and 18 months probation. I want to get the restraining order modified since I understand I can't get it dismissed. Unfortunately, he has to be at the court date when I modify it, and since he's locked up a ways away it can't happen until he's released in February (fingers crossed). I miss him like hell and I know he's making the most of this time away from me. I'd just like to have some kind of contact with him. I don't know what to expect at the modification hearing and if they'll allow us to see eachother at all. I'm desperately hoping. If anyone has had an experience with this and can tell me what to expect I'd love to hear it.
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Old 12-07-2006, 08:40 PM
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Amity - if you file, and he is required to be there, then it is the state's job to get him there. You don't need to wait until he's finished with his time.
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Old 12-08-2006, 10:03 AM
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I've had a No Contact Order before too, back in 2004, but I waited until my Husband did his 8 months and requested a court date to get the Order dropped. Well, during those 8 months, with extensive counseling and classes, I got it dropped. It took effort and time to, so it's not easy. You have to prove to the judge you are helping yourself, educating yourself with awareness and that he is too. It can be done, you just have to work at it. While he was in County, I was still able to see him every visiting and in Prison. The D.A. told me that the State does not check on No Contact Orders while doing a visitors check, that the Order is out of their hands once they are moved to State Prison. I hope I answered some of your questions... Good Luck!
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Old 12-08-2006, 07:53 PM
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I have to say this...I am troubled by reading all this. There has to be a reason no contact orders are placed. It all smells of domestic violence issues to me...and if these men are perpetrating domestic violence...they will do it again. I hope and pray that none of you women get hurt again in any way...emotionally, physically, verbally or otherwise.
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Old 12-08-2006, 09:10 PM
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Nicely put, mjwyogini (and your s/n is extremely hard to type :P)
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Old 11-19-2007, 04:23 PM
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Question No-Contact with Codefendant!!! :(

Ok Here is my story about a no contact order...It really suks when its on someone u really love and been with for so many yrs!! And this NO CONTACT order is not on for Domestic... We have never had domestic.. Its NO-Contact with Codefendant.... I'm not giving up on this... Anyhelp?

I got arrested on a felony 3 Feeling and Eluding back on 2005,i got sentenced in 2006 to 6 months in a rehab, and the judge gave me 4 yrs probation, Which im on till2010 but i cant get off early ..
Well in the process of all this my fiance was in the car with me so they put him in as a codfendent... Well then the put a No contact order between us cause he was in the car with me and he also has a crimnal background.. he is also in prison right now doing 10 months getting ready to go thru IPP classes and all..
We both want this, We want 2get married and have a family.
We been togather for 7 yrs and I WILL NOT walk away from him...I will DO ANYTHING it takes to keep us togather!
My questions is:
How do i write a Petition to Modify or remove the No Contact order from us?
I have no cluw how to start one or even know how to word..
My PO told me that i can file a PRO-SE Motion to see if the judge would change it but again i have no clue how to word it or even begin....

Could someone help me out with this!!
thanks alot!!
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Old 11-19-2007, 07:30 PM
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That's a completely different thing from the domestic violence RO. Each of you is a convicted felon, and you are not supposed to have contact with other felons while on parole.
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Old 11-19-2007, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nimuay
That's a completely different thing from the domestic violence RO. Each of you is a convicted felon, and you are not supposed to have contact with other felons while on parole.

Yes i understand that, but is there away we can get this modified? My PO told me that i could fine or something like that to see if he would let us have contact! i dont want to give up on this since we been togather for so many years... and both have actually straighten up, he is in prison now for his 2006 crime..
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Old 11-19-2007, 10:03 PM
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I have to say this.... most no contact orders are from a domestic violence situation. My ex is in jail right now for the third time...the last two times was for contacting me. The first time he was in jail it was because of things he did to me. He was very abusive towards me...but if any judge or probation officer thinks that a no contact order makes the abuser just leave you alone, they are out of their minds. When he got out the first time after serving three years, I did talk to him. He contacted me...and he was different. He was on medication and was in councelling. I decided to give him another chance....sure we had disagreements, but he didnt put his hands on me. I go back to him mostly in fear...because he thinks he owns me. He tells me I owe him my life because he hasn't killed me yet. Regardless, there was a time I tried to get the no contact order stopped...but it seems impossible. Its like once they decide you can't see each other, it will always be that way. I want to know where the police and PO's were when he was smashing my head into the wall or strangling me??? Its funny how they are there real quick once you have contact when there is a no contact order. There was a time after he got released we were really happy together... but he was arrested because of the no contact order. It's pretty messed up how the system works. No one is there to help you when you need it, but they are sure there to control your lives when they want to be. For everyone trying to get a no contact order removed....good luck! As long as its in your best interest, and not for fear from your loved one...I wish you all the best!
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Old 04-25-2012, 02:58 AM
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A no contact order can ONLY be lifted by the judge who issued it. U need a lawyer to uhm what's that called call it out like bring it to his attention.... so that u appear in court and u can ask and lawyer asks to lift it..... with goood reason. U can't ask to appear before judge only a lawyer can ask then u just show up.
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Old 04-25-2012, 02:58 AM
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I doubt he'll be released with time served. He's proven he can't be out on his own without racking up new charges, and he's not willing to show up to court when he's supposed to. Further, assuming there was a NCO out, preventing him from going near you, or one of his probation conditions was not to go near you, then hoping he's going to get out with time served is wishful thinking.

I also assume that neither of you have done anything to diminish the probability of further dv charges.

Perhaps I'm wrong and he'll get time served - the Court won't want to make a point about violating his conditions, racking up further charges, skipping court, etc. But, I wouldn't hold my breath.

If I were you, I'd get into some DV counseling so that the judge may have a reason to let him see you. Of course, ideally, he'd do anger management, a batterer's class, and get his own dv counseling.
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