Losing it?

[ZechyT'swifey]

Saw him today he said he's mad at me and I know he is I know he is because I cheated on him but he doesn't understand it was right after DV shit.. /: everyone was telling me not to be with him an we weren't married yet. Well ya I dunno how he's gunna get over it

[ZechyT'swifey]

He says sometimes he feels like telling me to leave him alone I don't wanna give up on my man he says all the guys in there tell him I wont wait for him

[nimuay]

Honey, the problem is that you probably SHOULDN'T wait for him. Someone who will commit an assault on you is not worth it.

[FastCarGirl]

He wronged you, not the other way around. I hope he can prove to you that he's getting some serious therapy and getting help for his issues while he's there before YOU take him back.

[Olderthanmost]

The folks who are giving you advice, have already been where you are now! They know what they are talking about because of their experience. I know, sometimes it might be hard to take their advice but they care about you! Step back and look at what has happened! Every action demands a reaction! You have your whole life in front of you. Be strong!

[ZechyT'swifey]

The people that say that want to see me fail and suffer they don't care about me. He does. I already forgave him for it and I know it would never happen again he was only 18 and stupid but he has become a better man. I'm the one who did him wrong this time. By cheating

I'm not trying to be mean but yes I'm going to wait for him so don't say I shouldn't.

[LeBeau]

Hon, when you post in a public forum, you cannot dictate what the responses should be.
The flat fact is that the odds are very much against him never being violent with you again.
You have a child to look out for....and you're putting the baby at risk.
If that's your decision, nothing we can say will change it unless you come to a new decision but you can't tell us not to continue telling you the truth about domestic violence.

[Purpleorchids]

...now you're a cheater...NOT. He just has another excuse to make you pay/resent you/bearate you/have an artillery of insults/pain. Are you figuring this out yet? You haven't been hit again, or you him, because he is in DETAINMENT. Does anyone ever give a different answer, like, "This makes a lot of sense. Sounds like a beautiful arrangement." Really?!?!

I see excuse after excuse for shitty male behavior (a lot of it right here, too). And what I am hearing is a lot of "Oh he's changed..." I see MWI -who know NEVER knew dudes in common life preaching this like T.D. Jakes, then they read dudes record and see the picture. Then they see they were a commissary maven. Then they see the multiple female outlet still in the game. You knew him beforehand, so you kind of sound WORSE!!

Did you know those "classes" amount to almost nothing. It's like having a heroin addiction and going to the grocery store and getting aspirin for the head pain of withdrawal. AINT GONNA WORK, Girl!!

Did you know that you CAN love someone who is an asshole? Lots of people do, but loving an asshole seems foolish, so they redeem the good-name of the asshole when his name was "Shit for Brains," all along. It's also possible to love someone who is essentially a shit-head and it take some time to manifest. Trust that it will.

Once he's out I guarantee an entire shit storm WILL erupt in NO time!!! Trust!!!

[Onedaycloser13]

As I said once, I was you once upon a time. I was married to an abusive man, who alienated me from everyone I loved and cared about. The only difference is my husband never went to jail. Laws weren't quite as good back then as they are now. I got beat because another man looked at me, because I said the wrong thing, looked the wrong way, whatever it was it was ALWAYS something I did according to him. Unfortunately, I believed him. Thought if I did better, talked better, did whatever he wanted then he would stop the name calling, the control, and ultimately the physical abuse. Never happened, no matter what I did he still got angry at something. I had a young son and he even used him as a weapon against me. Until he beat me black and blue one day and I left..how did I leave my mother helped me get out. I understand where you are at, it wasn't his fault it was yours and despite what I say it isn't going to hit home until you decide you have had enough. When that time happens, please remember a couple of things...one domestic violence shelters are everywhere and two no matter what he tells you none of it is your fault no matter what you did, how you act, nothing is enough for a person to put their hands on another human being!

[ZechyT'swifey]

Um ya I am a cheater. I cheated. I had sex with another man. So I don't get what ur getting at. Stop trying to convince me that my husband is a bad person cause he's not and no I'm not making excuse after excuse. Not every domestic violence case is the same.

[143forever]

All DV cases are the same. If he truly loved you, he would never have laid a finger on you. You don't hit people you love. My father taught me how to use a shot gun early on in life, and for good reason. To protect me from men like your husband. What are you going to do when he gets out and hits your son because he wont stop crying? Don't say it wont happen because you don't know that it wont. When your in the hospital breathing out of a tube you'll realize what we said was only to protect you. A real man doesn't hit a woman, think about that please. Would you want your son to hit his girlfriend/wife?

[yourself]

Originally Posted by ZechyT'swifey

Um ya I am a cheater. I cheated. I had sex with another man. So I don't get what ur getting at. Stop trying to convince me that my husband is a bad person cause he's not and no I'm not making excuse after excuse. Not every domestic violence case is the same.

I don't know you, and I don't know your husband. What I do know is that there's something very bad about your relationship. There's never a reason to get violent with somebody you love. Further, there's no need to cheat on somebody you love. You're keeping score, and now he has a new excuse for bad behavior.

You are so twisted up in this bad relationship that you can't see how warped it is.

What we say won't make a difference; you're not interested. You want people to say you're a bad person for cheating on him, and he's a good person even though he physically assaulted you. Guess what? both of those assertions are totally pointless. What's bad is the relationship. You both have obvious problems relating to each other. You both need help.

You won't listen. You'll wait until he gets out, playing little games with him while he's in so that you can justify him assaulting you again. At the same time, you get to see him suffer because of your conduct, conduct designed to hurt him.

And, you'll post more and more threads professing how much you love a man you cheated on, one who hits you. You must really love him being in prison, because you're just setting him up for a good long stay. Must be nice to have the power to send somebody to prison. You must really love him to twist him around like that.

Too bad neither of you will ever know what it's like to truly love somebody and build a good relationship on a foundation of love, trust, and understanding.

Have fun with your games. Can't believe you'd rather play games, but whatever.

[LeBeau]

I believe this has run its course.