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Raising Children with Parents in Prison For the Parent left behind with children AND for the Children that have a parent inside. Discussion of unique challenges facing this group!

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  #1  
Old 04-23-2012, 10:58 AM
bnbjea bnbjea is offline
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Default Having Our Child While He is Incarcerated

I got a call back this morning from the hospital I will be delivering our first child together at about a birth certificate question. Well I was informed that if he isn't there to sign he can't be listed on the birth certificate AND she can't get his last name. We would have to wait until he gets out and file paper work to have it changed. He is going to be just as devastated. We aren't married yet and I find it crazy that I can't list him when he's my daughters father!!!! I am Sooooo bummed and mad. I wish I knew a way around this...if anyone knows let me know. I live in TN.
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:04 AM
juss me6 juss me6 is offline
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thats weird
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:25 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bnbjea
I got a call back this morning from the hospital I will be delivering our first child together at about a birth certificate question. Well I was informed that if he isn't there to sign he can't be listed on the birth certificate AND she can't get his last name. We would have to wait until he gets out and file paper work to have it changed. He is going to be just as devastated. We aren't married yet and I find it crazy that I can't list him when he's my daughters father!!!! I am Sooooo bummed and mad. I wish I knew a way around this...if anyone knows let me know. I live in TN.
It's the same in Ohio or use to be 16 years ago when I had my last child if the father isn't present and your not married then the father can't be on the BC! Its to protect from anyones name to be put on the BC! Alot of states do this to protect a person who may not be the biological father but name was added as the father!

Once he's out you can get it all taken care of! If she's still young when he gets out she won't ever know the difference!
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:28 AM
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Its weird you can't put his last name. I did. I had to do the paperwork to get his name on the birth certificate. But I'm in NV. I'm sorry. I know.it sucks....but if you just to do the paperwork and it's solved :/
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:31 AM
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sounds crazy and probably not possible but I guess having the baby in a state that would allow it would be my only guess around the last name
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Old 04-23-2012, 11:33 AM
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Did you ask that if you had his power of attorney if you would be able to list him on the BC? Just a thought.
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:01 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Will'sCharlie
Did you ask that if you had his power of attorney if you would be able to list him on the BC? Just a thought.
I never thought of that..so would that mean that basically his power of attorney would "verify" that he is the father? Do you know of anyone that has ever done that? That is an idea though!
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:04 PM
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Thanks for all the replies. It is crazy and just another stress to add on everything else. He is already upset about not being there so I really hate to tell him the news I got today.
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Old 04-24-2012, 10:05 PM
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I live in MI and when i had our son his father was locked up. Legally you have every right to name that child whatever you darn well please. You write the name you want on the BC and that's what the name will be. Don't let them say you cant! About the father being on the BC, i went through the hospital counselor who sent my hubs a paper to sign for proof of parentage and to verify he knows hes the father and ta-da, he was listed on the BC! It was typed, not his signature but hey, atleast its on there. However im not able to take my son to visits because its not a signature, only downfall. Call the hospital and ask to talk to a counselor. If that doesn't work maybe try a different hospital. I know that may mean changing docs but its worth atleast the call to see. Also call the jail or prison your LO is at and see if they allow inmates out for the birth of their child. After i had my son a nurse asked me why his father wasnt present and i explained our situation. She grabbed my hand and told me they let inmates come in (of course with supervision from an officer) all the time. They are allowed out for 24 hours here in MI for the event of a birth. Call and see!! I was so upset after i found out he could have been there. Good luck!!
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Old 04-24-2012, 10:23 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 143forever
I live in MI and when i had our son his father was locked up. Legally you have every right to name that child whatever you darn well please. You write the name you want on the BC and that's what the name will be. Don't let them say you cant! About the father being on the BC, i went through the hospital counselor who sent my hubs a paper to sign for proof of parentage and to verify he knows hes the father and ta-da, he was listed on the BC! It was typed, not his signature but hey, atleast its on there. However im not able to take my son to visits because its not a signature, only downfall. Call the hospital and ask to talk to a counselor. If that doesn't work maybe try a different hospital. I know that may mean changing docs but its worth atleast the call to see. Also call the jail or prison your LO is at and see if they allow inmates out for the birth of their child. After i had my son a nurse asked me why his father wasnt present and i explained our situation. She grabbed my hand and told me they let inmates come in (of course with supervision from an officer) all the time. They are allowed out for 24 hours here in MI for the event of a birth. Call and see!! I was so upset after i found out he could have been there. Good luck!!
Thanks girl for the suggestions!! who would I speak to at the jail? And is it called the hospital counselor? Also we aren't married...was you? I am not sure if that will make a difference in the jail allowing him to come to the hospital. Its worth the call though for sure. I will be sure to list her name like I want it. Someone else has said I have the right to give her whatever name I want. I guess it will just be a fuss if they say something to me.
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Old 04-24-2012, 10:45 PM
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I just sent him the Paternal...whatever it is paper, and he signed it, and put his info on it, and his celly signed as a witness. He sent it back to me, and I signed it and I took it down to the Vital Records office. Instead of trying to get the prison involved, and the hospital lady all involved. It was really easy for us, but your state may be different. I don't think they should say anything if you just write your child's name as you want it, thats what I did.

I think that's pretty cool that your man could have come out to see your child's birth! I wish they had had that kind of thing here!
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Old 04-24-2012, 11:59 PM
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Call the hosptal and tell them you plan on delivering there and you would like to speak to a counselor who does paperwork in the L&D department of if they could transfer you to someone best suitable to answer your question. When i had my son she came right into my room, asked if he wanted to be on the BC and got the paperwork sent right to him. Call the jail and i would probably try to talk to the warden. If you can reach him/her talk to an officer to see if they can answer your question or direct you to someone who does. If you don't like their answer or they cut you short try calling again and talking to someone else. Some officers simply just don't care to talk to you, don't let that happen. However some are extremely kind and helpful. Nope, we were not married! I wish you the best of luck!
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Old 04-25-2012, 05:15 AM
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Can you mail him the birth certificate paperwork after the baby is born and have him sign it and then mail it back?
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:47 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by GuerosMama
I just sent him the Paternal...whatever it is paper, and he signed it, and put his info on it, and his celly signed as a witness. He sent it back to me, and I signed it and I took it down to the Vital Records office. Instead of trying to get the prison involved, and the hospital lady all involved. It was really easy for us, but your state may be different. I don't think they should say anything if you just write your child's name as you want it, thats what I did.

I think that's pretty cool that your man could have come out to see your child's birth! I wish they had had that kind of thing here!
Where do I get that paper at?
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:48 AM
bnbjea bnbjea is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 143forever
Call the hosptal and tell them you plan on delivering there and you would like to speak to a counselor who does paperwork in the L&D department of if they could transfer you to someone best suitable to answer your question. When i had my son she came right into my room, asked if he wanted to be on the BC and got the paperwork sent right to him. Call the jail and i would probably try to talk to the warden. If you can reach him/her talk to an officer to see if they can answer your question or direct you to someone who does. If you don't like their answer or they cut you short try calling again and talking to someone else. Some officers simply just don't care to talk to you, don't let that happen. However some are extremely kind and helpful. Nope, we were not married! I wish you the best of luck!
Okay! Thanks so much!!
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Old 04-26-2012, 10:49 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by savienu
Can you mail him the birth certificate paperwork after the baby is born and have him sign it and then mail it back?
I may could but I don't know 100%. I will check that out also.
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Old 04-26-2012, 11:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bnbjea

Where do I get that paper at?
I got it at the vital records office when I git my sons first copy of his BC( for visit) its free to get it. Bit when I turned it in it cost 40$ but that included the new copy of his BC.
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