Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Notices

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 04-24-2012, 10:20 PM
Zuweee's Avatar
Zuweee Zuweee is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 237
Thanks: 15
Thanked 74 Times in 46 Posts
Default I'm putting up walls...ALREADY

My boyfriend goes in May 4th, but it's like I'm putting walls up. The little time we have together has been good, we both try not to argue over the little things. It's killing me, I think about when he'll leave 100 times a day. No matter how hard I try, I can't help but think I won't get to see his precious face daily. I'm going to college right now, and he's my best friend. I mean he would drive me to 8am classes when he doesn't have to be at school until 3! He helps me feel strong and motivated being away from home by myself. I find myself being distant, and I know its just me trying to prepare. I know I won't be able to call and be with him whenever I want to, but it upsets me that I'm being like this. It's like I'm pulling away and cutting back on communication because I know whats coming. I would love to spend every second of every day with him until he leaves, but I know that's unrealistic. I'm just really scared. I know I can do this, but no one else out of my friends from home or university have any clue what I'm going through... :'(
__________________
One more day without you is one more day closer to being with you.”
<3
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 04-24-2012, 10:26 PM
lesliew32's Avatar
lesliew32 lesliew32 is offline
watching the clock
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: taylors sc
Posts: 676
Thanks: 0
Thanked 267 Times in 145 Posts
Default

Just keep reading forums on how much we miss our loved ones and how long they have been away. Our minds have away of holding on to thoughts and running with them. I hope you find away to let these thoughts go and enjoy this last bit of time together. When he is gone you will have all the time in the world to access these thoughts. Girl your lucky to have him home. Some people got their loved ones ripped away without any warning at all. Tell yourself how lucky you are to have him home. Good luck and get off here and go love on your man!
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 04-24-2012, 10:57 PM
Hiswifey2001's Avatar
Hiswifey2001 Hiswifey2001 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 210
Thanks: 0
Thanked 25 Times in 25 Posts
Default

Let me just say this..i did the same thing ..I was distant wouldnt cuddle with him at night I would sleep on the opposite side of the bed and would argue with him over the dumbest things just so I wouldnt be sad that he was leaving and I wiuld just habe haterd toward him the biggest thing I regret..I wish I can take all that back and cuddle and hold and love and talk with him every chance I could of had and let the little thimgs go..dont take him for granted u dnt know when u will be able to hold and kiss and talk with him....
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Hiswifey2001 For This Useful Post:
tracie2 (04-26-2012)
  #4  
Old 04-24-2012, 10:57 PM
GuerosMama's Avatar
GuerosMama GuerosMama is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Nevada, USA
Posts: 741
Thanks: 414
Thanked 328 Times in 193 Posts
Default

It makes sense to me WHY you are doing it. It must be easier to start dealing with the pain now, so that when he actually does leave it won't be such a hard shock on you. but like Solly'sGirl32 said, be happy that he is there. And try your best to make the best of the time you have left. I have a feeling you will regret it if you don't. The day my man left, I was waiting for him to come back to my house, and was heartbroken when I found out he was locked up. I wish I had had the chance to say a PROPER goodbye. Instead, our last words together were: "oh look there is a bunny over there, I love you, be safe, I'll see you later." And while that seems like pretty good last words, I would have said SOOO much more had I known he was going to be locked up and it would be (and still will be) years before we got hold each other in the free world again. I do not mean to discredit your emotions. I'm sure what you are going through is just as hard, in different ways. I'm just saying, don't let the walls, stop you from saying the things that need to be said, and doing the things you need to do with him, before its too late.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to GuerosMama For This Useful Post:
Olderthanmost (04-26-2012)
  #5  
Old 04-26-2012, 12:58 PM
Zuweee's Avatar
Zuweee Zuweee is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 237
Thanks: 15
Thanked 74 Times in 46 Posts
Default

Update: He noticed I've been extra down lately, and said he wants me to be more happy and excited like usual. Haha he said he wants his fiesty girlfriend thats usually all over him and loving. He also mentioned he wants to hang out with his family. I don't wanna be all over him and feel like I'm taking time away from his family. Its so difficult to balance it out! I don't know if I should take a step back so he can be with family or more involved like he said
__________________
One more day without you is one more day closer to being with you.”
<3
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 04-26-2012, 07:20 PM
GuerosMama's Avatar
GuerosMama GuerosMama is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Nevada, USA
Posts: 741
Thanks: 414
Thanked 328 Times in 193 Posts
Default

Well I think you would give him the chance to be with his family because he will.miss them too. However it sounds like he wants good quality time with you too. Have you asked him if you could be apart of his family time? I mean, if you are going to wait you need to get to know his family, and they need to know the girl who has his heart. That would be a good compromise too.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 04-26-2012, 07:32 PM
tracie2's Avatar
tracie2 tracie2 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: VA USA
Posts: 61
Thanks: 19
Thanked 38 Times in 26 Posts
Default

I wish I had known when my husband was going away. I would have made every second count. He got arrested and because he was on parole didn't come back..... I wish I had known. I know it is hard but please try to look ahead and to not have any regrets later.
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to tracie2 For This Useful Post:
  #8  
Old 04-26-2012, 07:53 PM
KEsgirl19's Avatar
KEsgirl19 KEsgirl19 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Illinois, usa
Posts: 14
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts
Default

My advice is to cherish everything from the big things to the little things. Give him daytime with his family, but let him know the nights belong to you. Make plans for your future, this is the perfect time to do it. You both have something to look forward too and work towards. I have always regretted distancing myself from Kevin before he left. Although we didn't know when they would come to take him away, he was on the run, we did know that sooner or later they would come. 14years later and a life sentence all I think of is if I had just had one more day......
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 04-26-2012, 08:20 PM
msgreenthumb67's Avatar
msgreenthumb67 msgreenthumb67 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: PO Box 7372 Tempe, AZ 85281 USA
Posts: 581
Thanks: 41
Thanked 200 Times in 126 Posts
Default

My man went to visit his NEW parole officer for the FIRST time and was taken into custody!! If he had not somehow gotten one of them officers to call me I would not have had a CLUE what happened to him. I would have thought he had abandoned me. I WISH I had gone with him!! It might not have made a difference but our last words would not have been you better get going! I was in shock for a week and crying a LOT. I don't know how I got through it. I miss him so much and still cry a lot. I pray you use the time you have been given!!
__________________


Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 04-26-2012, 10:12 PM
Lilwaynesgirl's Avatar
Lilwaynesgirl Lilwaynesgirl is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Forsyth, GA
Posts: 35
Thanks: 5
Thanked 2 Times in 2 Posts
Default

I understand why are you doing that but girl cherish every moment with him you have cause you can't do all that once he's in prison..I would give anything for just an hour of alone time with my man so enjoy your man for all of us that would give anything to be in your shoes...also spend time with his family with him..I think it will make him and his family respect you more cause it shows how much you love him...so get to loving girl
Reply With Quote
The Following User Says Thank You to Lilwaynesgirl For This Useful Post:
  #11  
Old 04-26-2012, 10:24 PM
~Christina~'s Avatar
~Christina~ ~Christina~ is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: ~*~*
Posts: 316
Thanks: 49
Thanked 16 Times in 11 Posts
Default

i agree with the others you have a chance at least to know he's going in. most don't. so make good use of this time instead of dwelling on when he will be locked up.
__________________
i luv my sexy mexican....
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 04-26-2012, 10:25 PM
Olderthanmost's Avatar
Olderthanmost Olderthanmost is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 1,196
Thanks: 1,098
Thanked 755 Times in 401 Posts
Default

I am one of the ones who never got to say "good by". When he called and said he would be home in about ten minutes, that ten minutes turned into thirty minutes, then an hour. I was walking in the rain looking for him! I was in a strange town, in an unfamiliar area. I know why you made your self be distant. It's like a "survival" mode! You are trying to prepare yourself to be strong! You are going to be fine. He loves you! We are going to support you and you will get thru this. Enjoy your time with him. If I could rewind the day, he left for work, I would have done so many things differently. You are getting the chance that I didn't have. Make the most of it. Create good memories!
__________________
PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU SAID! PEOPLE WILL FORGET WHAT YOU DID! PEOPLE WILL NEVER FORGET HOW YOU MADE THEM FEEL! - Maya Angelou
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 04-27-2012, 09:43 AM
LindiLLou's Avatar
LindiLLou LindiLLou is offline
Madly in love
 

Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: LaJolla, California USA
Posts: 313
Thanks: 106
Thanked 262 Times in 123 Posts
Default

It is a blessing to know in advance that your loved one is going away. It gives you an opportunity to prepare.. a chance to talk things through and put plans in place. We knew in advance my husband was going to go in We made sure every day was a "quality time" day... we set aside time every day just for each other... no outside world at all. We created a mountain of memories. Don't focus on the fact he is leaving ... focus on the fact that right now... he is there!
__________________
I love my man!!!!
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 04-28-2012, 08:12 AM
Zuweee's Avatar
Zuweee Zuweee is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 237
Thanks: 15
Thanked 74 Times in 46 Posts
Default

We're suppose to do something when he gets back from visiting family. He admitted he wanted to go spend some one-on-one time with his dad, which is totally fine with me. I would probably be the same way. I mean obviously I want to spend time with him too, but when he's in there he'll have multiple family members visiting and writing. I won't be able to go to court when he turns himself in, I have finals...I'm just ready to sleep next to my baby!
__________________
One more day without you is one more day closer to being with you.”
<3
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 11:52 AM.
Copyright © 2001- 2013 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics