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Death Row - Friends and Families Please post here if you are friends with, married to or otherwise involved with a Death Row inmate. This forum is a place to find support, information and understanding.

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  #1  
Old 04-29-2012, 03:06 PM
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Default What are good alternative clothes to bring to SQSP?

I need help on that one. I know all of the guidelines but, and I think most women would agree with me if they've got a lover on death row/prison in general, that they still want to look pretty for their guy.

Also, all of my bras are underwire so I was just going to skip wearing a bra? I know we can't have sleeveless or tank tops, but what about a silk top where the straps or whatever are three-fingers or more wide?

I also figured wearing a loose (no form-fitting clothes) top and it sometimes hangs off my shoulder a little bit. Problem?
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  #2  
Old 04-30-2012, 06:15 AM
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I don't know about the prison you are visiting, but where I visit, we have to wear bras, even have to bend over and shake them out to show we don't have anything in them, show the elastic on the waistband of our panties and wear a slip if we wear a skirt. so make sure you check about not wearing a bra before you go. good luck and enjoy your visit time together.
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  #3  
Old 04-30-2012, 01:08 PM
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Its better to wear a bra. If they see you are not wearing one, they will refuse you. Furthermore a shirt that hangs over the shoulder will not be allowed. They are really strict with clothing, so if you are not sure about it, dont wear it and always bring extra clothing just in case. A top with straps 3 fingers wide is not allowed either. Sorry girl.
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Old 04-30-2012, 01:15 PM
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If you have visited a couple of times, you'll know what not to wear and what you can wear and then it will be easier to go shopping for something nice. You'll get the hang of it. Believe me, even with all the guidelines you can still look very pretty for your man! I had bras with underwire as well, so I made two of them "prison" bras and removed the underwire :-)
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  #5  
Old 04-30-2012, 01:38 PM
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You can wear a sports bra, if you cannot find any bras without underwire. Or take a bra you already have, if you do not mind alternating it, make a small slit and pull that wire right out! Or buy a cheap bra with underwire and pull the wire out of that one, if you only have pricey bras, that you do not wish to ruin.

If you are small chested like me, you could get away with wearing training bras, they never have wires. Also, some sports bras for small chested women do not look like a typical sports bra...the ones I wear have thin straps like a regular bra and do not feel so constricting on my breasts.

Even if you need to dress more conservatively and not as fashionable as you normally would...you will still look beautiful in his eyes.

You could post this in the SQ forum as well, to get more answers.
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  #6  
Old 05-02-2012, 12:59 AM
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You guys have been wonderful! Thank you.

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  #7  
Old 05-02-2012, 12:59 AM
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I am not keen on the sports bra as I'm only a 34 or 26 B; where can I buy a non-underwire bra?

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Old 05-02-2012, 01:06 AM
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Since your smaller chested i recommend going to walmart & buying a padded bra with the wire Nd then cutting a small area and pull it out, the padding will still give u some support and lift.

About dressing cute....

Now adays the flowy tops are everywear ! Just make sure it isnt see thru, also loose capri pants and a polo shirt, or a long flowy skirt and a tee, with some heels.

Usually u can wear a skirt as long as its past your knee and whatever shirt as long as its not too tight.

Where my man is we can wear sandals as long as they have a backstrap, some places wont allow it, check the prison visitation forum in your state & LOs prison to be sure.

& to be safe ALWAYS have a pair of jeans and a big tee in your car with sneakers !

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Old 05-02-2012, 12:07 PM
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Well, instead of looking all over for non-wire bras, I really think the best bet is to get a non-pricey bra, and pull the wire out of the bra. Target, WalMart and Kmart always have bras that are not that expensive. Even some department stores have good deals on their bras. I have a no wire bra from Abercrombie and Fitch. American Eagle's lingerie store Aerie, always has some very casual and comfortable undergarments, they may have no wires in some of their bras, if you prefer to not have to ruin a bra that you buy.

I know you are not keen on the sports bra, but if you don't pull a wire out of a bra or find a no-wire bra, then you will have to wear one. If you are worried that a sports bra will make you very flat.... keep in mind that SQ doesn't allow your breasts to be in tight shirts anyway. As a woman in the SQ forum stated, "They do not want to see the shape of the breast."

I am an A cup, the sports bras I wear are not bulky and constricting. They are Hanes Fruit of Loom. I think they are not even considered sports bra...probably more like training bras, but they do come in bra sizes. If the strap was showing, no one would even know that it is not a regualr bra.

Remember, no jeans at SQ. Black pants are a safe bet. All black in my opinion is always a safe bet. Since SQ is strict with so many colors, you don't want to wear a color and then get there and the CO sees the color differently as you see it, and makes you change.

Last edited by rosebud04; 05-02-2012 at 12:12 PM..
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  #10  
Old 05-02-2012, 12:50 PM
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Also at SQ they will make you go down to your lowest layer of clothes and evaluate - so if you can see any part of your bra under your shirt or through your shirt (my daughters pink bra under white t shirt was rejected even though she had a sweatshirt on also!) they will not approve. No tanks or short shirts. No pajama pants but sweat pants OK. I wore summer sandels 1.5" heel with no back strap and it was ok but my indigo jeans - no. Check the SQ thread for visiting and you will see more info.
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  #11  
Old 05-03-2012, 09:34 PM
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Samantha! I was thinking of you tonight while I was shopping haha. My mom and I were checking out, and we just happened to be next to the lingerie section. So, while my mom got rang up, I wandered the lingerie area...feeling every bra. I found that Bali bras do NOT have wires..and they are a regular bra...not a sport bra. I even had to really feel the Bali bras, because they look like they have a wire...but NOPE...no wire! Now, I am sure some of their bras have wires, but the ones I saw and felt did not have wires.

I was at Carson Pirie Scott, which is a Chicago area chain department store. I am not sure what is the equivilant to them, in CA, where you are at...but I bet any department store will carry the brand.

Here is their site. These links will take you to the Passion for Comfort Collection and Comfort Revolution pages... collections of bras WITH AND WITHOUT wire. But, you may want to look through their other bra collections, to see if other collections come with no wires.

http://baliintimates.com/bras/collec...n-for-comfort/

http://baliintimates.com/bras/collec...rt-revolution/

Ok girl...that is all I got! I'm all fresh out of advice for you, now. Hope this helps.

Last edited by rosebud04; 05-03-2012 at 09:37 PM..
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  #12  
Old 05-05-2012, 09:24 AM
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You guys have been extremely helpful! Thank you so much! One question about the jeans: I'm confused because the SQ CDCR says that you can't wear blue denim—what about black denim? I doubt they'd let me wear black leggings even with a long flowy shirt. I don't have any dress pants :-/

Oy.

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Old 05-05-2012, 01:14 PM
RainyCola RainyCola is offline
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I have a friend that visits Chowchilla and he wears black denim. I'd assume since it's another CA prison it would be the same at San Quentin. But they know what they say when you assume...
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  #14  
Old 05-06-2012, 09:23 AM
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Black denim IS allowed...but make sure the black IS NOT faded AT ALL.

I THINK leggings used to be allowed, but I thought they changed that rule...but I am not sure! If they are allowed, a shirt must be long enough to cover your butt.

Maybe someone will come along to verify if they are or are not allowed.

Capris, clam diggers, pedal pushers, three quarter pants, mid-calf pants, etc...are allowed.
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Old 05-15-2012, 02:57 PM
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Let us know when you had your visit!
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