Welcome to the Prison Talk Online Community! Take a Minute and Sign Up Today!






Go Back   Prison Talk > FOR FAMILY & FRIENDS > Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison
Register Entertainment FAQ Calendar Mark Forums Read

Notices

Husbands & Boyfriends in Prison For everyone who has a husband, boyfriend or male partner incarcerated.

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 05-08-2012, 07:25 PM
britshines britshines is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 38
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
Default Need your opinion about our relationship.

So me and Eric are just friends and ive been by his side since hes been in there. I got a letter the other day about him saying that he can see us being together and that Im a straight up girl and he hasnt met anyone willing to stick around. He said he wants to take things slow because he doesnt wanna trap me while he's trapped in there...yaknow? He's basically saying he doesnt want commitment til he comes home..ugh. But he called before and he wants me to go to the shore with him and this other couple, so I think it's a good sign. And i also told him that me and my mom have been fighting and she's always telling me to leave her house...he said don't worry when I come home, I'll save you...you'll be with me all the time. I just hope what he says is real..what do you guys think?
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2  
Old 05-08-2012, 07:41 PM
khadijahkiwanna's Avatar
khadijahkiwanna khadijahkiwanna is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 42
Thanks: 0
Thanked 6 Times in 3 Posts
Default

I'm kind if in your predicument now. My sons father has sent letters like that more often. I think you should take a chance and trust him because that's the point I'm at. You never know until you try plus he will need your support now and when he's out. Just trust him. You have no reason not to, unlike me. I'm sure it'll all end up great.

Sent from my iPod touch using PrisonTalk
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 05-08-2012, 09:05 PM
britshines britshines is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 38
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Yes, hopefully things turn out good in the end!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 05-08-2012, 09:24 PM
InmateLover67's Avatar
InmateLover67 InmateLover67 is offline
Does NOT Sugarcoat
 

Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Oregon
Posts: 4,075
Thanks: 872
Thanked 3,627 Times in 1,885 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by britshines View Post
So me and Eric are just friends and ive been by his side since hes been in there. I got a letter the other day about him saying that he can see us being together and that Im a straight up girl and he hasnt met anyone willing to stick around. He said he wants to take things slow because he doesnt wanna trap me while he's trapped in there...yaknow? He's basically saying he doesnt want commitment til he comes home..ugh. But he called before and he wants me to go to the shore with him and this other couple, so I think it's a good sign. And i also told him that me and my mom have been fighting and she's always telling me to leave her house...he said don't worry when I come home, I'll save you...you'll be with me all the time. I just hope what he says is real..what do you guys think?
Keep things the way they are and when he gets out, let him prove to you that he means what he is saying. Actions speak louder than words.

It is actually a good thing that he does not want committment while serving his time. Let him focus on getting his shit taken care of, keep writing from time to time, and let him know you are still here for him.

I believe this is the best thing you can do, be his friend and if you are meant to be together when he is out, then you will be.

Peace~
__________________




Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to InmateLover67 For This Useful Post:
aaakr12 (05-09-2012), dalesgirl (05-10-2012)
  #5  
Old 05-08-2012, 10:25 PM
britshines britshines is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 38
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by InmateLover67

Keep things the way they are and when he gets out, let him prove to you that he means what he is saying. Actions speak louder than words.

It is actually a good thing that he does not want committment while serving his time. Let him focus on getting his shit taken care of, keep writing from time to time, and let him know you are still here for him.

I believe this is the best thing you can do, be his friend and if you are meant to be together when he is out, then you will be.

Peace~
Yeah I definitely will be there for him..and if happens to turn into something more I'll be the happiest girl
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 05-08-2012, 10:41 PM
myloveisstrong's Avatar
myloveisstrong myloveisstrong is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Oklahoma, USA
Posts: 158
Thanks: 1
Thanked 41 Times in 23 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by britshines
So me and Eric are just friends and ive been by his side since hes been in there. I got a letter the other day about him saying that he can see us being together and that Im a straight up girl and he hasnt met anyone willing to stick around. He said he wants to take things slow because he doesnt wanna trap me while he's trapped in there...yaknow? He's basically saying he doesnt want commitment til he comes home..ugh. But he called before and he wants me to go to the shore with him and this other couple, so I think it's a good sign. And i also told him that me and my mom have been fighting and she's always telling me to leave her house...he said don't worry when I come home, I'll save you...you'll be with me all the time. I just hope what he says is real..what do you guys think?
You should do what is going to make you the happiest. My guy and I were not together when he went in, we got together about 1.5 months after he went in. But I'm committed to him and will stay that way and that's what has me happy. So what's important is to do what will make you and keep you the happiest.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:22 PM
britshines britshines is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 38
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Wexl
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 05-08-2012, 11:22 PM
britshines britshines is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 38
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Well he does make me happy, but I don't wanna be considered foolish because I'm waiting on something that might never happen.

Last edited by britshines; 05-08-2012 at 11:24 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 05-09-2012, 04:51 AM
Patty's Avatar
Patty Patty is offline
WINNING! Admin

PTOQ Editorial Team Member 

Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Rockford, Illinois
Posts: 38,209
Thanks: 16,072
Thanked 37,645 Times in 10,443 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by britshines View Post
Well he does make me happy, but I don't wanna be considered foolish because I'm waiting on something that might never happen.
I wouldn't say you are foolish but you are waiting on something that might never happen. If he does not want a commitment at this time that's fine but it is plain to see that you are vested in this "relationship" and you will become more and more emotionally involved as the days go by. He's keeping his options open and you should do the same. There's a great big world out there...
__________________
For those who can, contributions to keep PTO up and running are most welcome HERE

THIS CORRESPONDENCE
IS FROM A WOMAN IN LOVE
WITH A FORMER INMATE OF
THE ILLINOIS DEPARTMENT
OF CORRECTIONS





Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 05-09-2012, 06:12 AM
OneOfMany's Avatar
OneOfMany OneOfMany is offline
MrsT
Donation Award 
 

Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: Midwest USA
Posts: 2,185
Thanks: 2,080
Thanked 1,753 Times in 863 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by britshines View Post
And i also told him that me and my mom have been fighting and she's always telling me to leave her house...he said don't worry when I come home, I'll save you...
take control of your own life and situation. Your mother is not HIS problem. What he's told you is not a guarantee. You're not the princess and he's not your Prince Charming to your rescue. I'm sorry your home environment isn't the best, so I would encourage you to work towards correcting that situation.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 05-09-2012, 12:29 PM
britshines britshines is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Apr 2012
Posts: 38
Thanks: 0
Thanked 5 Times in 3 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Patty

I wouldn't say you are foolish but you are waiting on something that might never happen. If he does not want a commitment at this time that's fine but it is plain to see that you are vested in this "relationship" and you will become more and more emotionally involved as the days go by. He's keeping his options open and you should do the same. There's a great big world out there...
Yes your right I should keep my options open.. And only time will tell. 2 more months to go
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 05-09-2012, 05:32 PM
aaakr12's Avatar
aaakr12 aaakr12 is offline
Registered User
 

Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Salt Lake City
Posts: 64
Thanks: 70
Thanked 16 Times in 10 Posts
Default

I don't mean to be the critical one here, but it seems to me like every guy who goes/is going to prison becomes obsessed with having someone waiting for them on the outside. I've also seen this with guys that are being deployed overseas...I've been waiting for my fiance since he went in 8 months ago and he STILL asks me to wait for him. In Every. Single. Letter.
I think it's a coping mechanism. They want to feel some sort of connection with the outside world, and having someone waiting for them/putting money on their books/paying for phone calls/writing them letters/running their errands is a great way to get that.
My suggestion? Do whatever feels right. Just don't forget that being incarcerated has a way of changing your thought process - his world is SO small right now, you know?
__________________
.
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 05-10-2012, 10:46 PM
bnvballgirl's Avatar
bnvballgirl bnvballgirl is offline
hes home!
 

Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Wisconsin, USA
Posts: 338
Thanks: 202
Thanked 154 Times in 92 Posts
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by britshines View Post
S He's basically saying he doesnt want commitment til he comes home..ugh.

In all honesty, i think thats a bad sign. I guess ive never been "friends" with someone in prison and the only times my fiance and i talked while he was locked up, we were considered together and exclusive.
In my mind, if he had ever told me he didnt want to be committed to me, i would think he was seeing someone else, talking to someone else, or was just using me.
Its like being with someone on the outside who says they dont want to be committed but they still want to be fwb and see how things go.. really the just want to have sex and dont want to be in relationship with you.

Hopefully Im wrong and he does want to be with you when hes out.

But many men in prison tend to use women for money and support ... and they dont just use 1, they use many at the same time.

For me personally, id want commitment or id run.
__________________


Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Forum Jump


All times are GMT -6. The time now is 07:02 PM.
Copyright © 2001- 2013 Prison Talk Online
Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.7.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Website Design & Custom vBulletin Skins by: Relivo Media
Message Board Statistics