Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Milazbabe · #1 05-12-2012, 02:18 AM

Hey PTO! Wow has been a while since i have been logged on omg! I been sooo busy with getting my ish together and i am proud to say that my life is on track. So here is my issue. Me and my ex i guess i can say that have not spoken in months. No letters phone calls visits nada. And this is not my wish but his. There is so much drama to why we got on bad terms but to make a short i change my number out of anger and hurt him over something i thought he did. And he blew it all out of proportion and now im sitting here damn near 6 months later wondering wtf just happened! Since then i have been supper depressed. I manage to do well in school and finish but my love life sucks and i find myself using food as an outlet which is not good at all. I still love this man very much and i feel that are problems are worth working out. We have been together wayy to long. But i dont know about it anymore. After things went bad with us i ran into his fam at the store and his mom was telling me i hurt him and it was in his best interested if i leave him alone!He does not write call nothing. And i wrote him and no answer. So should i leave a three year relationship in the past or fight my way back in his life? CONFUSE!

hisbabygurl2014 · #2 05-12-2012, 02:26 AM

if you feel like this is a relationship worth fighting for than i say go for it. Keep writing or maybe visit him if ur in his visiting list.

Milazbabe · #3 05-12-2012, 02:34 AM

And see thats the thing i need to check up on. I dont want to go up there and find it out that way. I need to get more info from him or the visitors hotline. Anything is worth trying. Thanks!

hisbabygurl2014 · #4 05-12-2012, 02:44 AM

No problem. And you should call the prison and see if your on his visiting list.

nimuay · #5 05-12-2012, 03:28 AM

Let it be. If he hasn't communicated for this long, then he's probably a pretty selfish person to start with. You don't need it. Get counseling from Jenny Craig instead of going back to a bad relationship.

Believe it or not, 3 years is about the time the average relationship takes to wear out . . .

**shaunna** · #6 05-13-2012, 04:29 PM

Him not replying is probably expected considering the amount of time that has passed (regardless of who was at fault).Are you actually missing him or just feeling lonely in general because you are remember the man he used to be? To me I think it's best that you move on and let the past be the past. Whatever you decide I hope it works out for the best for you

countryzgirl · #7 05-13-2012, 06:34 PM

Let sleeping dogs lie. Things got messy and didn't work out before for reasons. You two lack trust and good communication. Also, if you both could go without contact for this long perhaps your attachment was more wishful than real?

It is unfortunate that he was hurt. That happens to all of us sometimes. He will be OK. So will you. It sounds to me like you are lonely and sad and perhaps miss the idea of him more than the actual man. Prison relationships kinda suck, Hon. What you see is not necessarily what you get. I suggest you soothe your depression and other needs by getting out into the world and finding joy that you can experience every day. There are support groups, like overeater's anon, that are fabulous. Why not give it a try? You might find it is far more rewarding and healing than trying to revive a relationship that's already dead.
Good luck!

Milazbabe · #8 05-13-2012, 06:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimuay

Let it be. If he hasn't communicated for this long, then he's probably a pretty selfish person to start with. You don't need it. Get counseling from Jenny Craig instead of going back to a bad relationship.

Believe it or not, 3 years is about the time the average relationship takes to wear out . . .

And I know that he has been selfish in the past with other things during are relationship. But this has gone way to far so i know he is trying to hurt me now. Counseling is a very good idea for start. I am not sure about Jenny craig

but hey anything moving forward is a start. Thanks!

Milazbabe · #9 05-13-2012, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by shaunna

Him not replying is probably expected considering the amount of time that has passed (regardless of who was at fault).Are you actually missing him or just feeling lonely in general because you are remember the man he used to be? To me I think it's best that you move on and let the past be the past. Whatever you decide I hope it works out for the best for you

I am remembering the guy i dreamed he can be but never was. And I stayed lonely during are relationship that was one of the main issues. But in general if he really cared about me he would at least tell me he does not want me or he does. The "not knowing" leaves you more hurt and confuse. So I need to work on leaving it be.

~Christina~ · #10 05-13-2012, 07:36 PM

i think you should let him be. he knows where you are or how to find you if he wanted to try again. you are seeing what you want to see or rather what you remember.he may be in a relationship now. i just read the last post by you (milazbabe). i feel that his NOT contacting you is him saying he don't want you.

ILovehim1 · #11 05-13-2012, 07:50 PM

Sorry that you are going through this. It sounds like you just need to move on even though that's easier said then done. If you two are meant to be somehow you will come together. For now I would just worry about your future/school. That's hard but for now that's how things are.

Keep your head up.

meximami707 · #12 05-16-2012, 09:59 PM

It harsh so dont hate me for this but..

IF he really does love you he wouldnt go a day without hearing your voice or writing you...

Its a hard thing to accept... and he may contact you again but DONT wait for it..

Milazbabe · #13 05-16-2012, 11:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by meximami707

It harsh so dont hate me for this but..

IF he really does love you he wouldnt go a day without hearing your voice or writing you...

Its a hard thing to accept... and he may contact you again but DONT wait forit..

No, your telling me things i need to hear. I know he will contact me again but it will be hard for me to forget what happen. And i know he does not love me and thats the part that hurts. Im going to heal one day at a time.

Milazbabe · #14 05-28-2012, 12:36 AM

SOOO I got the letter and the answer I have been wondering about for months. My ex mainly stated that we are done and he has no bad feeling towards me but that I left him and he is cool off me. And with that he then told me someone he knows in there wants to talk to someone and since he thinks im lonely I should write this person!

I could not believe what I was reading. And top it off he gives me the persons letter.In this persons letter they state that they saw my picture and would like to get to know me. My ex states that since he can not give me what I want this person can. I felt so disrespected, but lesson learn. If I ever thought a second in my head I wanted to make anything work it all went out the window. I know I will forgive him for this one day but right now i am working on moving forward.

canadiangirl098 · #15 06-06-2012, 06:16 PM

i was going to say remain friends see how things go down the road like me and my guy did but i just read your last comment and obviously he disrespects you by wanting you to hook up with someone else thats in there so i would just leave and not even be friends with him if he is going to be that way with you

pisces317 · #16 06-09-2012, 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milazbabe

Hey PTO! Wow has been a while since i have been logged on omg! I been sooo busy with getting my ish together and i am proud to say that my life is on track. So here is my issue. Me and my ex i guess i can say that have not spoken in months. No letters phone calls visits nada. And this is not my wish but his. There is so much drama to why we got on bad terms but to make a short i change my number out of anger and hurt him over something i thought he did. And he blew it all out of proportion and now im sitting here damn near 6 months later wondering wtf just happened! Since then i have been supper depressed. I manage to do well in school and finish but my love life sucks and i find myself using food as an outlet which is not good at all. I still love this man very much and i feel that are problems are worth working out. We have been together wayy to long. But i dont know about it anymore. After things went bad with us i ran into his fam at the store and his mom was telling me i hurt him and it was in his best interested if i leave him alone!He does not write call nothing. And i wrote him and no answer. So should i leave a three year relationship in the past or fight my way back in his life? CONFUSE!

its over and just continue to do you,whatever it was it definitely has finish the relationship caue he's in prison and if he doesnt write you or answers your letter he's done ,i wouldnt reach out to him cause in 6months this guy couldve got another gurl,married or just moved forward and it's obvious that he's done,you manage to finish school focus on you and if and when he comes out and looks for you then you may want to give him another chance just think that 6months has pass and nothing and you'll have your answer

InmateLover67 · #17 06-09-2012, 08:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milazbabe

Hey PTO! Wow has been a while since i have been logged on omg! I been sooo busy with getting my ish together and i am proud to say that my life is on track. So here is my issue. Me and my ex i guess i can say that have not spoken in months. No letters phone calls visits nada. And this is not my wish but his. There is so much drama to why we got on bad terms but to make a short i change my number out of anger and hurt him over something i thought he did. And he blew it all out of proportion and now im sitting here damn near 6 months later wondering wtf just happened! Since then i have been supper depressed. I manage to do well in school and finish but my love life sucks and i find myself using food as an outlet which is not good at all. I still love this man very much and i feel that are problems are worth working out. We have been together wayy to long. But i dont know about it anymore. After things went bad with us i ran into his fam at the store and his mom was telling me i hurt him and it was in his best interested if i leave him alone!He does not write call nothing. And i wrote him and no answer. So should i leave a three year relationship in the past or fight my way back in his life? CONFUSE!

Leave it alone, you caused this.....by assuming he did something that he did not do.....what did he blow out of portportion?

It seems as though he has moved on, whether it be because he is hurt or doesn't want to deal with you anymore. If he wanted to, he would write back, if even to say "kiss my ass", but you have not even gotten that, so I would chalk this one up as a dead end and move on.

AND, you cannot make someobody want you, that does not want you. You will not be able to fight your way back into his life.

Do you and let him do him.....lesson learned, hopefully, you can communicate better in your next relationship.

Peace~

Milazbabe · #18 08-10-2012, 04:02 AM

Hey thanks everyone for there response. An update me and him had talk about it since the drama went down and he did apologize to me. He explain to me he was hurt and the whole letter to his friend was out of being hurt. I also think it was a test to see what I will do.

But when I visited him a month ago he told me he reconnect with a old gf which his mom gave this chick his info. No surprise there. He told me that he dated her years ago and she was the one looking for him. He says he remembers her briefly and they slept together once. But he says he was young and he was not really into settling. He says he is still in love with me and he has no feelings for her at all. She is just a good friend talk to. He wants us to get married and leave the past where it is at. I love him very much but I am no ones fool. We are taking things slow. We're not officially back together and I am find with this. And by the way he will be home soon which makes my decison even more better. So what do u guys think should I make him work for us or remain friends? But as of now I am in a good place since getting closure. Thanks for reading if you got this far! Lol

Sheryl P. · #19 08-10-2012, 05:04 AM

Well,I think he is with someone else.If he wants to work on the two of you then he needs to man up and tell the other woman what is going on and let her go.
If you are still wanting to get back with him then take it slowly and work on your communication.
I think the advise to work on you is a very good idea.It never hurts to find what makes you happy and healthy as your own person.

Milazbabe · #20 08-10-2012, 05:42 AM

That's exactly why were not officially together right now. I plan to take my time this time. As far as the chick he tells me he would let her go as a friend if it makes me feel uncomfortable. And there not together in no way. I know he cares for me but he needs to show me u know? Thanks!

Sheryl P. · #21 08-10-2012, 06:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Milazbabe

That's exactly why were not officially together right now. I plan to take my time this time. As far as the chick he tells me he would let her go as a friend if it makes me feel uncomfortable. And there not together in no way. I know he cares for me but he needs to show me u know? Thanks!

Actions speak louder than words and so your being smart.
Good luck and be blessed

ilovecoffee · #22 08-10-2012, 08:21 AM

I hope it all works out for you! I wouldnt be cool with my babes mom sending him some chicks crap to write him! I would do as you are doing, go slow and proceed with caution!

Milazbabe · #23 08-10-2012, 07:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ilovecoffee

I hope it all works out for you! I wouldnt be cool with my babes mom sending him some chicks crap to write him! I would do as you are doing, go slow and proceed with caution!

Trust me I was all for hearing him out about his friend but I was not pleased with what his mom did. But I am working on forgiveness and taking things day by day. Thank u so much! :-)