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MissingHim119 · #1 05-23-2012, 08:27 PM

I feel like there are things that he dont tell me but i wish he did even if i asked. i just have a bad feeling that he is doing something not proper like maybe with drugs. is it easy for them to get drugs from the other inmates or have u ever heard stories from them saying something similar?

InmateLover67 · #2 05-23-2012, 08:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissingHim119

I feel like there are things that he dont tell me but i wish he did even if i asked. i just have a bad feeling that he is doing something not proper like maybe with drugs. is it easy for them to get drugs from the other inmates or have u ever heard stories from them saying something similar?

Yes, it is easy for them to get drugs from inmates. It happens in just about every prison.

If you believe he is doing something shady like that, then I suggest you re-evaluate what he is all about. If he cannot keep his nose straight while serving his sentence, how is he going to when he has his freedom?

Sorry you feel as though he is keeping things from you. What would you do if he did tell you he was doing drugs in there? How would you react?

Good luck!

Peace~

IrishFire · #3 05-23-2012, 08:59 PM

Unfortunately it is easy for them to get drugs. I don't know your relationship is with him, or why you feel something isn't right, but one sign that he may be involved in drugs is if he's asking for more money, or if you notice behavior changes. Doesn't call as much, when you do talk to him he seems distracted or hyper. But, he could just be going through a difficult period. I hope it works out. Please keep us updated, you have family here.

Scotties_Girl21 · #4 05-23-2012, 09:18 PM

Yes its very easy. Cigs, drugs, all of that is surprisingly available there. If you have enough $$ you can get just about anything you can get on the streets in prison.

Jootje · #5 05-23-2012, 09:34 PM

Why do you have a feeling that he may be using drugs or is involved in something else which can better not see the daylight? I do remember you asking, in another thread, on how much money he actually really needs,receiving 180 and wanting more. So I am guessing these threads may go hand in hand....

Ask him on this concern and the money issue. Most of the time his way of reaction can be a pretty good guideline on the answers you are looking for and go from there. Set your boundaries and put your foot down. Do not deal with crap, bs or being lied to when you are asking him a question he should be open and honest and if you doubt his replies, step back and have a good thinking on how to move forward.

MissingHim119 · #6 05-23-2012, 09:44 PM

I hate to say that I notice some of the things mention here with the lack of calls compare to before. I have been with since 2007 so its a long time. Sometimes you think a person would be straight with you especially with that length of time. I don't understand just how they can get it if they keep track of things they buy or that comes in.

MissingHim119 · #7 05-23-2012, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jootje

Why do you have a feeling that he may be using drugs or is involved in something else which can better not see the daylight? I do remember you asking, in another thread, on how much money he actually really needs,receiving 180 and wanting more. So I am guessing these threads may go hand in hand....

Ask him on this concern and the money issue. Most of the time his way of reaction can be a pretty good guideline on the answers you are looking for and go from there. Set your boundaries and put your foot down. Do not deal with crap, bs or being lied to when you are asking him a question he should be open and honest and if you doubt his replies, step back and have a good thinking on how to move forward.

I can only look at his reactions when I visit him and definitely when I ask I always look at how he answer and I'm not playing games with him.

MissingHim119 · #8 05-23-2012, 09:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by IrishFire

Unfortunately it is easy for them to get drugs. I don't know your relationship is with him, or why you feel something isn't right, but one sign that he may be involved in drugs is if he's asking for more money, or if you notice behavior changes. Doesn't call as much, when you do talk to him he seems distracted or hyper. But, he could just be going through a difficult period. I hope it works out. Please keep us updated, you have family here.

he's my boyfriend. I known him since 2007 and we have been together since. I understand what you're saying and how it can be difficult for him but just that wondering and the unknown makes me guess things.

hisbabyny · #9 05-24-2012, 12:05 AM

i think you just have to talk to him face to face' first off. i dont know too many men that would even put anything incriminating in a letter!! or on the phone so maybe he isnt gonna tell you whats up on
the phone'

maybe its something else even' its easy to speculate he could have alot of different things going on.... gambling, having to pay back loans, unless he had a past drug problem and you see some old signs popping up' and there is so much they can spend money on if they really want to try and spend money. he could be eating a extra ice cream every day

lol!
im only kidding' just trying to lighten up the mood cause maybe its not something sinister?

i just think you may want to try speaking to him in a non accusing way and see what he says' you will probably be able to see if you feel he is being honest. maybe if his explanation dont sound right call him out on it.

MissingHim119 · #10 05-24-2012, 01:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hisbabyny

i think you just have to talk to him face to face' first off. i dont know too many men that would even put anything incriminating in a letter!! or on the phone so maybe he isnt gonna tell you whats up on
the phone'

maybe its something else even' its easy to speculate he could have alot of different things going on.... gambling, having to pay back loans, unless he had a past drug problem and you see some old signs popping up' and there is so much they can spend money on if they really want to try and spend money. he could be eating a extra ice cream every day

lol!
im only kidding' just trying to lighten up the mood cause maybe its not something sinister?

i just think you may want to try speaking to him in a non accusing way and see what he says' you will probably be able to see if you feel he is being honest. maybe if his explanation dont sound right call him out on it.

If i asked i would say what he is doing with the money straight but is there a nicer way?

Scotties_Girl21 · #11 05-24-2012, 02:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissingHim119

If i asked i would say what he is doing with the money straight but is there a nicer way?

I would wait til a visit and make sure no one hears and just be like "your not buying drugs in here are you?" If its a straight forward question he will have no chance to make something up and you can gauge his reaction. If he fumbles, or says uhh...then you will know. I'd be straight forward if I were you.

MissingHim119 · #12 05-24-2012, 08:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scotties_Girl21

I would wait til a visit and make sure no one hears and just be like "your not buying drugs in here are you?" If its a straight forward question he will have no chance to make something up and you can gauge his reaction. If he fumbles, or says uhh...then you will know. I'd be straight forward if I were you.

i always like to ask in person to see the reaction and i dont like playing around so i will be straight forward

Scotties_Girl21 · #13 05-24-2012, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissingHim119

i always like to ask in person to see the reaction and i dont like playing around so i will be straight forward

Good for you. It sounds like your handling this the right way!
:thumbsup!:

MissingHim119 · #14 05-24-2012, 10:02 PM

The other day i was writing in one of the thread that i think he was up to no good when he asked for so much more money than usual. 2 days ago i told his cousin not to send him any money because i know that if i don't send it then he would definitely ask his cousin. i was right because tonight i got a call from his cousin saying that he got an email asking him to send commissary when i just did this Monday. now i know something is definitely up so me and the cousin will be both going to the visit and he will be shock that his cousin is going to be there as well. his cousin is on his approved list.

Eddiesoon2bwife · #15 05-24-2012, 10:07 PM

Hmmm...he definitely sounds like he's up to no good...what do you think he's trying to do??

Jootje · #16 05-24-2012, 10:14 PM

I know it is a worrying thought that something must be up as you thought but.....be glad that you did not leave that thought with an "ow whatever". I just hope that he does not turn into a rage when you and his cousin go to the visit and confront him with the worries but I also think it a good thing that you are going to talk face to face about it and I do hope things go well on the visit but just be prepared he might not react nice or/and calm at first.

thatwiz · #17 05-25-2012, 10:39 AM

My hubby always had a lot of money in jail. you say you know him for a long time-in a way you should know him well enough to know what he's doing. my hubby bought everything, but also when he was released would come out with thousands of dollars-why? He was saving and used his commissary as a savings account upon release. My thing is that you think he's doing something wrong-well, your intuition may be right.

MissingHim119 · #18 05-25-2012, 08:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Eddiesoon2bwife

Hmmm...he definitely sounds like he's up to no good...what do you think he's trying to do??

i can only think of drugs as the reason for the money. i would think that is only thing that would cost that much money in there.

Scotties_Girl21 · #19 05-25-2012, 08:41 PM

There could be more reasons. Gambling, etc. When my bf was in reception these guys came up to him and said "you have to pay rent in this pod, or fight" so he was fighting every day because he refused to be extorted but apparently it happens all the time. They fought so much there they had this ish called "fight night Friday" and they were just fighting for fun. It was insane. Idk what type of Guy he is but drugs aren't the only reason but I'm sure you know him well enough to figure out what's more likley i.e drugs, extortion, gambling.

MissingHim119 · #20 05-26-2012, 09:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Scotties_Girl21

There could be more reasons. Gambling, etc. When my bf was in reception these guys came up to him and said "you have to pay rent in this pod, or fight" so he was fighting every day because he refused to be extorted but apparently it happens all the time. They fought so much there they had this ish called "fight night Friday" and they were just fighting for fun. It was insane. Idk what type of Guy he is but drugs aren't the only reason but I'm sure you know him well enough to figure out what's more likley i.e drugs, extortion, gambling.

i know that drugs and gambling happens in prison. i did not know the other part about extortion but then again like u said anything can happen in prison.