Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

tsears1 · #1 05-28-2012, 05:15 PM

My man has been incarcerated for just about a week now for a flat 1.5 year bid. He's still in county so able to call me everyday. But everyday is a different mood. Somedays hes happy, some days hes depressed. Which i can understand because I go through the same thing here on the outside. We all have our moods. During each call we always plan a time for when he will call the following day, but today when i asked him what time he was going to call tomorrow he was like " i dont know if I can" and i was like why not, and he couldnt give me a straight answer. I was like u call everyday whats the difference now. And all he could say was because u never know what tomorrows going to hold. I dont know if he was just in one of his sad moods or what. But it just seemed off. And naturally i think the worst, that he did something bad or is about to do something bad that would prohibit him from being able to call me. I dont know it just freaks me out. It's hard u know. I get my strength from him. If he's sad I'm sad. and i just don't like that he said that. It was out of the blue. We made a deal that he would call everyday while he could so the day that he doesnt call me I know hes on his way to reception. And i reminded him of that, so he can't mess it up and not call. And he was like ok well we'll see. I don't know. I just needed to rant about it. I really hope its all ok because.if I don't hear from him tomorrow I'm going to flip.

Loubabygirl · #2 05-28-2012, 05:25 PM

Unfortunately you just don't ever know what's going on. I just went 5 days without speaking to my love and it was because the phones didn't work because of the weather. Other times it's because someone doesn't want to lock down and they mess up the phone schedules. Sometimes we are on the phone and he's like babe I gotta go I gotta go I'll try and call you tomorrow. It's things we have no control over! It sucks! And now that he's due to be transferred anytime between now and sept 1st we could go weeks without speaking because he will need his phone list approved once transferred and I won't know when he gets transferred! Unless they tell him early enough and the phones are still on which doesn't usually happen he says.

Not sure if you have been through this before but patience is a huge thing with this type of relationship situation.

FindingHarmony · #3 05-28-2012, 05:26 PM

I know what you mean about the mood changes. I only get phone calls on friday or saturday. so once a week. I can't afford the calls for every day. I don't know what to tell you, because I know when my guy sounds off like that, my head jumps to the worst possible conclusion as well. It's hard to deal with.

hismammys · #4 05-28-2012, 05:33 PM

I know what u mean ...when my bf was in the county u would talk to him 3 times a day ... U get use to it .. but .I.dnt think he meant it in a way like he's about to.do something that will keep him from calling but just letting u know that in jail / prison telephone calls r not always promised ... And just making sure that if that day comes that its not a surprise to u ... Things change in half a second in jail or prison . And they can go on lockdown at any time .. stay strong and remember always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst !

Sent from my HTC MyTouch using PrisonTalk

tsears1 · #5 05-28-2012, 08:27 PM

i know, it just sucks though! i hate that things can change at the drop of a dime. hopefully he will call me tomorrow and all will be well

Sad_Eyes · #6 05-29-2012, 02:52 PM

I wouldn't take it too personally. Sounds like he is just having some shifting moods, which is completely normal inside and if I remember correctly you said his little brother just died, so I would imagine he is feeling all sorts of things and is very overwhelmed, void of energy, everything feels like a chore kind of thing. I am sure it is not that he does not want to call, but he probably is just in a messed up state of mind or something. I'm guessing he probably called? If he didn't don't worry too much. Like everyone said, calling, the phones, etc...it is so touch and go and sometimes you don't get that call that you are waiting for, but eventually everything evens out. I would not necessarily think that something bad has or is going to happen. Just try to stay calm and keep yourself busy.

My boyfriend says the "I'm sad when you are sad" comment often, and I remind him that his feelings and mine although definitely intertwined, are not contingent upon each other. In my experience, If you live that way you will start to feel consumed.You get your strength from him AND yourself...Keep your mind off things and good luck hun!

tsears1 · #7 05-29-2012, 06:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sad_Eyes

I wouldn't take it too personally. Sounds like he is just having some shifting moods, which is completely normal inside and if I remember correctly you said his little brother just died, so I would imagine he is feeling all sorts of things and is very overwhelmed, void of energy, everything feels like a chore kind of thing. I am sure it is not that he does not want to call, but he probably is just in a messed up state of mind or something. I'm guessing he probably called? If he didn't don't worry too much. Like everyone said, calling, the phones, etc...it is so touch and go and sometimes you don't get that call that you are waiting for, but eventually everything evens out. I would not necessarily think that something bad has or is going to happen. Just try to stay calm and keep yourself busy.

My boyfriend says the "I'm sad when you are sad" comment often, and I remind him that his feelings and mine although definitely intertwined, are not contingent upon each other. In my experience, If you live that way you will start to feel consumed.You get your strength from him AND yourself...Keep your mind off things and good luck hun!

Thanks hun. He did end up calling. a half hour later than usual, but he called. And today he sounded fine. so that's good. your right about the getting strength from yourself thing, but sometimes, I just feel guilty. if I'm having a good time and he's not i feel bad. i know I shouldn't because he's the one that did something to warrant the punishment not me, but even still. i love him so much i can't help but feel that way. hopefully will get over it with him. after all he's only been in for a week

. we've got quite a bit of time left.

thanks again