Birthday-present.......!? Visit...??

[goiane]

Hi there....

my penpal's birthday is coming closer and I'd love to surprise him by sending him something 'special'..... He would never ask me for anything, - his family is very very supportive, so I know for sure that he don't want me to put some money on his account...I'll try to find out if there's a book he'd like to read and so on, but I really would like to send him something more personal...

We get along just great and I would like to visit him soon. In one of his letter he slipped in in a pretty smooth way that he would welcome me as a visitor - but we never discussec that issue in a serious way.

So, - sorry for asking such a naive question, but, - if it comes to visits, who would 'suggest' the visit-idea? Me? - since I'm living overseas, or him, - since he would add me on his visitation-list, as soon as he's able to? I really have no idea. Oh, - I have to say that I'm in the US at least four times a year, so it's more easy for me to visit my penpal than it is for others who have to do a huge effort to schedule and arrange a visit from overseas.

But back to the birthday-subject... I thought about telling him tha I really would like to visit him.... I feel very insecure about that because I don't want to come off as disrespectful and I really don't want him to feel kinda constrained.... What do you guys think? I'd be really greatful to hear your opinions.

Thanks in advance!!!

[RainyCola]

I'm at a loss for the birthday suggestions since mine just tells me what he wants.

For the visit thing, you can always just mention that you'd like to meet him one day. Since he kind of brought it up I wouldn't think you mentioning it to him would put any pressure on him. In fact, he's probably not wanting to put pressure on you by asking you to go visit.

[goiane]

@RainyCola...He is kind of "too proud" to just tell me what he wants. At least that's my feeling about him...I would so love to see him since I have the chance to make it happen. ... thanks for your reply!

[Nenia]

Absolutely! Go ahead! Just write "I want to come and sing Happy Birthday face to face". If you're getting along fine, there is no way in the world he wouldn't want to meet you. Visits mean so much to those guys. Don't hesitate, if it is something you want to do and can easily arrange as it seems.

[goiane]

Well, we handle each other with care, so to speak, that's why I felt a bit shy of bringing the visitation-topic up directly ... we kicked things off just great from the very start....although we're writing each other since January...

[everyone]

Hello Goiane,

I understand, what you are meaning.
I too, have thoughts about visiting my pp. But at this time writing for ca. half a year now I have the feeling for me it would be too early.

But on the other hand I would like to meet and know more about the "real person". I think I will bring up this topic and asking if it would be possible in 2-3 months. There is also the visitation list and time to organise this, about which has to be thought of.

Greetings from Germany

everyone