Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Jenny67 · #1 05-28-2012, 06:29 PM

havent been around for a while been trying to heal...its not working...anybody who knows my situation already knows shes back in jail since january..held without bond...she has violated probation 3 times..has new charges which one is another felon....the thing is she is on the medical floor...her PD defense is mental and has had her evaluated,,,, the didnt cooperate so the judge said no MORE EVALUATIONS.... its sad she wont take meds and wont do anything to change her life...my god shes on probation in 2 different courts and now 3 new charges.... punching me in the face and breaking out my windows... i have flash back daily ..i can still hear the window breaking and her taunting me thru it,,calling me names ...i know she sin jail yet im scared daily she will return,,,she has threatned me several times..my whole family....i dunno anymore ..when a child hits you..it changes you deep within ...how u feel about your own child... yes shes sick...but wont do anything to change it...i feel so bad for my grand child..who regardless loves her mom its so sad....i to had to call police on my own child..several times..we have kicked he rout several times and now i have no help from police which i cant blame..they are right we kept letting her back....im so sick of being in the news and reading articles about my child... my anxiety so terrible..im affraid of my own child...i firmly believe deep down in the pit of my stomach she would kill me or us for that fact... her trial is in july for the new stuff and court for probation violation next month..so sad

**frostwoman1954** · #2 05-28-2012, 07:09 PM

Jenny,

Welcome to PTO! You'll find caring and support here. From what I've read in your post, your daughter is an abuser. Sweetie, I know that hurts. Seek free counseling from your local DV shelter. You don't have to live there to get the free help. You're gonna need what they are offering. If you don't know how to get in touch with the nearest shelter, call the Nat'l. DV Hotline @ 800-799-7233 (SAFE) and they can give you the number. You are welcomed to read our DV forum. If I may be of further service, just PM me.

Michele

mandymoo · #3 05-28-2012, 07:18 PM

Thanks for the update, Jenny. Sorry it's going so rough for your daughter but she's kind of calling the shots there, it sounds like. have you seen a Dr. about the post traumatic stress and anxiety? The above advice about the DV forum is a good idea. Hope the healing will begin,

1bird2 · #4 05-28-2012, 07:24 PM

Oh wow Jenny, I am sooo sorry...I do remember your post back in the winter....and how traumatized you were then....and still now..
Have you thought about seeing a counselor to help you through this PTS? Or maybe find a support group to attend....I cannot imagine reliving that everyday! That is torture ... and there has to be a way to get through it.
I'm so sorry that your daughter refused to cooperate....I don't know, maybe that is part of her condition.....Do you think that maybe once she gets to where she is going that THEN she might be evaluated and treated?
My heart just breaks for you....I've not ever been through anything like this....so I do not have good answers for you...but I am praying ... and hoping that you can find a way to heal....there is some way....some how you will find that way.
How is your relationship with your daughter right now? Does she call you? Is she calmer....or angry and bitter?
I think you might find that if she is diagnosed and treated...you might get "your daughter" back.
My heart does break for you....I'm really concerned that you are still feeling this so strongly for this long....I'm sure that having your child strike you would change everything....but I hope it will get to a better place than it is right now.
Keeping you in my prayers,
XXOO

szcunane · #5 05-28-2012, 07:26 PM

sounds like you have been living a nightmare. I hope that while you daughter is in that you can get some rest and some advise, and maybe some counseling. I'm sorry your daughter refuses to take medicine that she needs. I hope that they will do tests and determine what is wrong - -if it is something that she can get help for. It is horrible that you have been a victim of violence - -I know that must break your heart.

Nicksmother · #6 05-28-2012, 08:25 PM

Praying Hard! Sending you a hug! So sorry you are going through all this with your child.

Jenny67 · #7 05-28-2012, 09:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1bird2

Oh wow Jenny, I am sooo sorry...I do remember your post back in the winter....and how traumatized you were then....and still now..
Have you thought about seeing a counselor to help you through this PTS? Or maybe find a support group to attend....I cannot imagine reliving that everyday! That is torture ... and there has to be a way to get through it.
I'm so sorry that your daughter refused to cooperate....I don't know, maybe that is part of her condition.....Do you think that maybe once she gets to where she is going that THEN she might be evaluated and treated?
My heart just breaks for you....I've not ever been through anything like this....so I do not have good answers for you...but I am praying ... and hoping that you can find a way to heal....there is some way....some how you will find that way.
How is your relationship with your daughter right now? Does she call you? Is she calmer....or angry and bitter?
I think you might find that if she is diagnosed and treated...you might get "your daughter" back.
My heart does break for you....I'm really concerned that you are still feeling this so strongly for this long....I'm sure that having your child strike you would change everything....but I hope it will get to a better place than it is right now.
Keeping you in my prayers,
XXOO

we have no communication

Tracy147 · #8 05-29-2012, 05:13 AM

Take the time shes gone right now and find time to relax and get yourself together. Go get help thru doctor or counseling. This is a mess, and dont blame you for the fear you live.

dbd335 · #9 05-29-2012, 05:26 AM

jenny - my heart broke as i read your post and then i noticed what you put for location and the tears came - i am so sorry for your pain - i know you still love your child but right now you must take care of yourself - she is in the best place right now for her and for you - please find some way to get a handle on you and what you have been through - changing deep down inside can be a good thing if you manage the change through appropriate methods - my prayers will be with you and your daughter -

auntieshay · #10 05-29-2012, 07:02 AM

Jenny, I am so sorry your daughter has treated you like she has. She is sick, but that does not excuse what she has done. You will always love her but now you need to love yourself MORE. Take some self defense classes, they will help empower you. Yes, she has taken some of you power not ALL of it. Get it back from her. Give it back to YOU. You are strong, you are smart, you and your family deserve to LIVE a happy life. Concentrate on you getting better. Pray for your child but love you more.

sleepless in Tu · #11 05-29-2012, 07:59 AM

Domestic abuse has the added sorrow of turning your home,which should be your safe and soft place to fall, into house of painful reminders.I'm so sorry this happened to you.I hope in time you can find ways to lessen the trauma that has been inflicted upon you.

bumblebee37 · #12 05-29-2012, 09:18 PM

Thanks for the update. I'm sorry it sounds like you are suffering from PTSD over her hitting you. I deal with it with some children I have contact with so I have learned not to talk in a loud voice, make sudden gestures and it really seems to help if I can get them into a child counselor as soon as possible. It's heartbreaking to deal with anyone who has been betrayed by being abused by the one they love no matter who they are or what the age is. Anyway, I didn't mean to bring my job to the board, it just hurts my heart to see you struggling with it. have you talked to Nimuay? She post everywhere but is very good in the domestic violence forums trying to help. Her Lebeau and Wicket are very positive women with a lot of knowledge, resources, and kind words if you need help...and you know what? It might do you some good to post there about it because there are a few there who can relate to how you feel. (I cheer them on and stalk their progress at escaping the life) Good luck Jenny and thanks for lettting us other moms understand it isn't just our kid that has crossed the line and has laid hands upon us. ((HUGS))bb

jancy · #13 05-31-2012, 07:51 AM

Jenny
I do think some counseling would help you. This is a parent's dilemma...we love them and we cannot allow them to victimize us, so we have to make some hard decisions that conflict with how we feel as parents.

keep in mind that you are still parenting her by making her know that her behavior had consequences. I know you miss her yet fear her. I have been in that situation with my son before, as I told you. He can never live here again. That does not mean I hate him though. I love him and wish him the best and will be behind him with prayers and be there when he acts right.

((HUGS)) be sure to be very good to yourself.

mrsrimoldi · #14 05-31-2012, 10:02 AM

Oh Jenny I am so sorry you are suffering so. Too bad your daughter doesn't want to admit she has a problem and accept the help that was offered.
Reliving what happen over and over is causing you so much heartache. PTSD is a sad state for sure. Please talk to your doctor and get something to help cope. With your daughters story in the paper all the time does not help matters at all~ try not to read it. My sons attorney told us to get the papers and save them but he advised me not to read them. We did as we were told but had a trusted friend read and tell me when something good was written. Years later I was able to sit down and read them and it sure broke my heart but I was stronger by then and I knew the truth.
I will keep you and yours in my thoughts and prayers.

wickit · #15 05-31-2012, 05:19 PM

I am so sorry to hear what has happened to you and please know this is not your fault! I have learned from my own boys that you can't help someone who won't help themselves and it took me a very long time to accept it. They have never physically abused me, but the mental abuse has really affected me in so many ways! Thank you for the update, please come back often we can help and we are here for you! HUGS!!