Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

momalways · #1 05-29-2012, 07:55 PM

You know those days when you think to yourself "dear, sweet, charming, intelligent, beautiful child of mine...when, in your world, did THAT become a good idea????"
Yeap, that's me today. I found out some information today. I already knew some of his irresponsible moves, but there were some more that were a big surprise to me - he sure knows how to make life difficult for himself! (I wanted to smack him) It is mostly related to the sentence he already got, and ignored. He has one new charge, just alcohol possession. I mean 'just' in a legal sense. In an emotional sense I mean, well that's 'just' the element that turns up almost every time you run into a problem.
He has to stay in jail until his next hearing in about 2 weeks. In part because of his juvenile record (you know, the one he's never given any serious attention to), because of his proficiency in the fields of running and jumping. The Judge seemed to think that since they'd finally managed to get him to do something the court wanted for the first time in months, they shouldn't have to put any extra effort into getting him to do it again. So he can stay where he is.
...So,I'm a bit angry at him.
He has another tattoo, I could see a little bit of it sticking out under his sleeve, it must be pretty new...as long as it's older than 'the weekend'!!! My husband said to me "hey at least it's somewhere he can cover it up if he wants to" - which then we couldn't help but laugh about because - what does it matter?? his other one is right around his wrist and you sure can't miss it! So, that helped release some of our tension. And distracted us from our thoughts of breaking into jail to smack him and then leaving him there. (I know hubby was having the same thoughts)

Nicksmother · #2 05-29-2012, 08:03 PM

These kids! I ask the guard when I visit mine if I could just smack him one good time upside his head and not get arrested! They always answer they would love to let me but oh those dreaded cameras! Took a long time to get a drug free son to sit down and talk to. Just hope it last! He can follow the rules in prison but not on the streets! I want to smack him sometimes. He loves tatoos too! Praying for your boy!

1bird2 · #3 05-29-2012, 08:52 PM

DANG!! I really do know what you mean about "just alcohol"....I'm serious when I tell you that the 18 to 21 years are just an alcohol nightmare!!! I guess because at 18 they can join the armed forces, hold and use a gun, buy a pack of smokes....but NOT a beer!!! I don't think I can even count the "just alcohol" charges my son managed to rack up in those 3 years!!!
I know the stress of wanting to smack them....when they are out of reach!!! I, like Nicksmother, asked the guard at the prison if I could smack mine....or did I have to wait 10 years!!!!
Well, MAYBE this one will be "the one" that drives it home...
I'm praying that it will be....really I am!
It is so good to hang onto that sense of humor....I laugh out loud about things that truly are not funny at all....well, kinda are!...in a twisted way!
About the tatoo.....well, I don't even want to imagine what mine will look like when he finally walks out of that gate....but he has promised that none would be visible with his shirt on.....I envision "RED DRAGON" when he takes his shirt off!!! We'll see.
Hang in there....this too shall pass! Keep thinking, hoping and praying..."the beginning of the end"!!!
As always, Love and prayers,
XXOO

tglsmom · #4 05-29-2012, 09:24 PM

This thread is making me smile even though the subject isn't funny at all. Sometimes I guess you just have to find the humor in a situation like this because, otherwise, we would be in tears all the time! My son is getting tatoos, too, even though I strongly object. He's promised me that they won't show and I even go so far as to push up his sleeve on his shirt to make sure. He always says, "Mommmmmmm" - like mind your own business!

The comment by Nicksmother about following the rules reminds me of the times my son was in rehab. I would take him out to lunch and talk to him about following the program and working hard for his sobriety. I would say, "You either have to follow the rules of society or the rules of the prison guards". Those talks obviously went in one ear and out the other. And, yes, I'd like to smack him, too!

spiffy-heart · #5 05-29-2012, 10:24 PM

My son is the Security Clerk in prison. He had to get up in middle of night to file reports and copy pictures of guys who got caught getting these jail house tattoos! The ones tattooed and the guy who invented a way to do them. Now, they've lost good time, and been written up.....for stupid, home made tats!

Spiffy heart

auntieshay · #6 05-30-2012, 05:53 AM

My son's favorite line was "just traffic court", not pay speeding tickets-just traffic court, not going to court-just traffic court, driving on suspended- just traffic court. Gets stop by police- just 3-6 months in jail. Just county jail-city is worst!!! Oh, why can't I smack him-oh the cameras.

sleepless in Tu · #7 05-30-2012, 09:30 AM

Yes, many things you noted seem to be part of his pattern that you have shared with us in the past.The frustration must be hair pulling,gee whiz if he'd just stop before it gets to a bad place,all of life's options are open to him!I really had a rough time when I posted about my daughter's demonic looking (and large) butterfly tatoo on her forearm.The mom's understood but many people said she was of age etc. etc. but you know it has come up many times where she's been told it would have to be covered for jobs and when she was looking into vocational school.She has a step-brother that has a lot of neck tatoos and that has resulted in them not being allowed into the nicer bar/nightclubs pointing them in the direction of dives or strip clubs(I'll bet the step brother's wife enjoyed that evening!This was all pre arrest too).My point is that the tatoos can take away "fun" stuff too not just the" silly "things us parents worry about such as employment.I'm really sorry he's causing negative impacts on his future.You have gone through so much with him and he just keeps doing things that you know deep down he knows are wrong.

bumblebee37 · #8 05-30-2012, 09:42 AM

thanks for making me laugh spiffy heart. my son didnt care if he was thrown in the deep dark hole of seg forever over 'ink'...well, actually he preferred the hole where he didn't have to stand in line at chow, listen to any crap from anyone, and he seemed to like medical too. he was like 'oh, please punish me somemore so I can sleep 23 hrs a day'.

KidzMom · #9 05-30-2012, 09:51 AM

Seriously - what is it with the tatoo obsession??? My son too... He has the stupidist tatoo on his neck. I mean really stupid! The word D.O.P.E. WHAT IS THAT

He says it means Done On Pure Excitement but I tell him I just see DOPE and duuhhh .... no wonder you landed in prison...

He also has two hearts together on his upper arm with my name and my husbands name on it with an arrow going through it - now that one's sweet!

He plans to be sleeved. I don't get it.

WHY WHY WHY??

missdebbie92025 · #10 05-30-2012, 12:00 PM

I guess i also follow the tat group.my son is all tatted up.i made him promise he will not get them on his neck or head.if they can be covered up for jobs maybe he has a chance to get one. I also would like to smack him ,hug him and then smack him again.lol

Missdebbie92025. Sent from my DROID2 GLOBAL using PrisonTalk

tglsmom · #11 05-30-2012, 04:55 PM

I don't get it either. My son had a couple of tatoos before he went to prison (which really didn't bother me), but he seems intent on getting more. I've asked him why he would want to be reminded of prison when he finally gets out. It seems like they will bring back some pretty bad memories. But, then again, maybe it is a good reminder of what he never wants to experience again. I guess you could look at it both ways. I just hope I never have to SEE them!!

momalways · #12 05-30-2012, 10:14 PM

It's nice to know you're not the only one having thoughts of tattoos and smacking them! Glad I've got so much company.

Quote:

Originally Posted by sleepless in Tu

Yes, many things you noted seem to be part of his pattern that you have shared with us in the past.

Yes. And yes, it is SO frustrating. Some of it is probably him being a brat. But some of it might be him doing that thing he does. If I thought about it for a moment I could probably tell you the exact date this whole series of events can be traced back to. One thing went wrong (completely his doing) and from then on he just tripped and tripped and that snowball has just grown. And it got too big for him to figure out how to cope with it or where to start fixing it...so...he ignored it. That was his coping skill. Ignore it away. That doesn't do anything does it, that just makes it worse. And it just makes him look like he isn't even trying.

He must know deep down inside that he's done wrong. I think he's avoiding us, no calls from him (unless he's having trouble with their rules again). I feel like I'm going to have to go see him, even though I absolutely hate the idea of seeing him behind glass. I never have and it doesn't sound like a nice idea.

sleepless in Tu · #13 05-31-2012, 09:07 AM

That "ignoring it" solution never works!Strange, how our kids are all so eager to see if it'll work! And not just once but over and over again!

JuliannRN · #14 05-31-2012, 09:51 AM

Why the issues with tattoos. I am an rn going into the legal field and i have 9 of them. I guess i feel there are worse things they could be doing. Tats don't cause them to make stupid choices. My son is covered. That's his profession.

missdebbie92025 · #15 05-31-2012, 10:51 AM

Its not the tats i get upset about.i also have them.its the fact that they i dont know how careful he is being in there.he tells me he is being careful but i still worry.as long as he keeps his promise i will be ok.

Missdebbie92025. Sent from my DROID2 GLOBAL using PrisonTalk

tglsmom · #16 05-31-2012, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliannRN

Why the issues with tattoos. I am an rn going into the legal field and i have 9 of them. I guess i feel there are worse things they could be doing. Tats don't cause them to make stupid choices. My son is covered. That's his profession.

No, tats don't cause them to make stupid choices except when they are done under unsanitary and unsafe conditions. Unless you are living outside of prison and can choose a reputable tatoo parlor, the chances of getting Hep C in prison are very high. That IS a stupid choice, in my opinion.

KidzMom · #17 05-31-2012, 03:41 PM

I don't really have anything against tatoos - its not that the tatoos cause stupid choices rather that they are the result of stupid choices/poor judgement. In my case, with the word DOPE in 3" letters on my son's neck - the tatoo illustrates his inability to make the right decision. Just another in a series of bad decisions that landed him in prison! He lost a job over it - it wasn't the image the company wanted to portray! It will continue to ruin his chances of having a "normal "life after he gets out. (CAN I SMACK HIM NOW - PRETTY PLEASE!!)

With all the hurdles our children must face when they get out - like finding a job when you need to check yes on the box that asks if you have ever been convicted of a felony - why stack the deck against themselves with visible tatoos (or body piercings). First impressions do count!

And yes - Hep C is a huge concern! They do not think anything of the medical issues that will arise later in life. Most of my son's tatoos were not done in a sterile enviornment - the one that was is great and easily hidden with a t-shirt.

I am not saying all tatoos are the result of bad decisions - but we all know which ones are!

momalways · #18 06-01-2012, 06:57 AM

I visited my son yesterday, saw him behind glass for the first time. I hated that. I really felt uncomfortable in that whole atmosphere. It was good to see him, but a hard way to do it. Who thought I'd ever wish I could go back to that juvie again.
He seemed a bit surprised that the judge made him stay, but otherwise seems 'ok'.

momalways · #19 06-01-2012, 07:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliannRN

Why the issues with tattoos. I am an rn going into the legal field and i have 9 of them. I guess i feel there are worse things they could be doing. Tats don't cause them to make stupid choices. My son is covered. That's his profession.

I'm not against tattoos either. Yes you're right, there are worse things he could be doing. My issue with his first one was that he was 17 when he got it and the legal problem with that, they shouldn't have given it to him, made me wonder what other standards they weren't too worried about following. And just knowing my son, his choices, he's impulsive, got a prominent tattoo at 17...all I hope is he still loves it in 5, 10, 15 years. I've also been a bit concerned with his new one, knowing it was pretty new and knowing it wouldn't be good for him to be having problems with it healing in jail...he says it's ok

JuliannRN · #20 06-01-2012, 09:46 AM

Never thought about the healing part of it... Thank GOD my son is already sleeved so I hope he wont make that stupid decision in prison. I have a feeling he will be on the giving end...

sleepless in Tu · #21 06-01-2012, 10:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JuliannRN

Why the issues with tattoos. I am an rn going into the legal field and i have 9 of them. I guess i feel there are worse things they could be doing. Tats don't cause them to make stupid choices. My son is covered. That's his profession.

We all have our reasons and usually support is given here.We try not to question the feelings of other parents.Tatoos may not be a problem for you and yours but for some of us the tats have taken away opportunities.I was a respiratory therapist for 22 years and also a clinical instructor for the local community college.I have 4 tatoos,none visible with clothing covering more than a bikini.

loveyamom · #22 06-02-2012, 12:01 PM

I have one, my hubby calls it my stamp of approval... call it my response to the situation, went on vacation, found a nice shop and got a tattoo that all my life I told everyone I would never have... rebel without a pause at 48 and it felt GOOD!
it did scare me when the kid said he would get sleeves until he told me AFTER he gets out.. then I will make sure if he is still interested he goes to a reputable shop

szcunane · #23 06-02-2012, 06:51 PM

Have to tell you what a guard told me about prison tats - he said they had to take skittles of the canteen list - because they were melting them for the color in the tats! I do wonder about the safety of them in prison - -the health factor. Because we all know how good the medical care is in prison . . .they can hand out aspirin, but beyond that . . .well, I pray everyday that my son remains healthy.