Power struggle with toddlers.

[GuerosMama]

So, my son just recently turned 2, and his newest thing is: telling me NO to everything, refusing to pick up his toys, or eat his meals, or try to learn to go potty. He fights me on EVERY little thing.

Its really getting frustrating. Time outs don't work, yelling doesn't work, ignoring him doesn't work.

I just don't know what to do, to get his behavior under control, because he is starting to really embarrass me in public, and around family.

Any suggestions?

[brooks]

Just keep going with the same , NO, that's not acceptable, back at him. OK, realistically, not happening, but ... try to be consistant with it. I am going through it with my 2 year old as well. They are testing their limits. Seeing how far they can push us. My 10 year old survived this phase.. (his was worse at 4 yrs old). Some days I wasn't sure if he'd live to see the next day

It's frustrating on your own. There's no back up, no taking turns... but also, no one for them to run to for a second opinion.

Remember the hugs & kisses in between. Some days I really think my 2 year old's will is stronger than mine.
Choose your battles. Stick to your guns. They DO hear you even when they don't respond.

[nimuay]

If it's any consolation, that's normal. It's the beginning of separation from a parent, trying out the length and breadth and height of the rules. It's exhausting, but he's learning a lot right now and it's important stuff.

You'll survive and so will he. A little embarrassment is not a huge price to pay. I usually smile at a mom when I see this kind of thing . . . the ones in the grocery store with the wailing child. . . because it doesn't bother me. So take heart.

[DP's Girl]

I found that being consistent was the most important thing. He has to do what you say not only when you're tired or stressed or embarrassed but every time. I never told my kids no so they didn't have that word in their vocabulary I always said you may not or I do not want you to... But they would still test boundaries. When they did the result was always the same. I looked them in the eye and repeated my instruction and if they did not respond I physically placed them in timeout and they did not move until they were ready to follow my instructions. There was no 2 minutes or 5 minutes of timeout. You stay until you obey. It didn't take them long to realize their tears meant nothing and I would leave them there until they were old enough for college. Soon they started doing what I said. If they acted out in public they got nothing and did nothing and we went back to the car and back home. Again it only takes a couple of times of leaving the park without playing or leaving the store without that toy or ice cream before they get it. Good luck and don't pull your hair out this will pass. But then he'll be 4, then he'll be 10, then he'll be 13, God help you then he'll be 16. Hell maybe you should pull your hair out because it only gets worse :-D

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by GuerosMama

So, my son just recently turned 2, and his newest thing is: telling me NO to everything, refusing to pick up his toys, or eat his meals, or try to learn to go potty. He fights me on EVERY little thing.

Its really getting frustrating. Time outs don't work, yelling doesn't work, ignoring him doesn't work.

I just don't know what to do, to get his behavior under control, because he is starting to really embarrass me in public, and around family.

Any suggestions?

Terrible two's, gotta love'em! Sorry he is being a brat.

I would suggest that when you ask him to pick up his toys and he says no, get behind him and help him pick all of them up. He will probably scream and have a fit, but he needs to learn that when Mommy asks him to do something, he needs to do it.

If he does not eat, don't allow him anything else. When he realizes that he should eat when it is provided, he will choose to eat.

When you are out in public and he acts up, take him to the car and wait until he calms down, or simply take him home.

It is really about setting boudaries with children and letting them know that you are the authority. The longer you let them get away with acting out, the more they will do it. Then, you have possible problem behaviors in the future.

Do not let him have the one-up on you. I hope you can get him to behave and things mellow out.

Peace~

[GuerosMama]

Thank you guys for the advice. And the laughs I guess my biggest issue is the lack of consistence. I get so frustrated I give up, but ill have to "man up" if I want him to learn good behavior.

[Onedaycloser13]

Originally Posted by GuerosMama

Thank you guys for the advice. And the laughs I guess my biggest issue is the lack of consistence. I get so frustrated I give up, but ill have to "man up" if I want him to learn good behavior.

I see this is a few days old, but wanted to tell you that every time you give up and he sees the "no" worked just reinforces the behavior and makes it harder the next time. He figures the "no" and crying and screaming worked so next time it will be the same, and more than likely more if you are more adamant. Consistency is the key.

[sidewalker]

want to echo what Oneday said.

dont give in once you have told him no.
He learns that if he keeps up the bratty tude, he will eventually get what he wants.

Yes, its hard.