MWI and I was fired for fratanizing with an inmate....

[Kickedout917]

Now he is in the hole and I dont even know if I am allowed to write him letters. I worked as a contractor in the CMHS office and it sucks. They put him in the hole, took me to the front conference room and told me I was being "let go". Nothing unprofessional happended inside the correctional facility itself. We were writing letters back and forth to each other, me from the outside. Now I want to write to him but word going around is I can't. Any ideas? Any help? I dont know what to do. It sucks and its killing me because we had become very close. I want to ask a friend of mine who still works there but I dont think she will know or even answer my question. I know there is a huge thing going around, and the gossip there is a nightmare. I really miss him. Could I or he get in anymore trouble if I were to try to contact him in there? No one said anything directly to me about not being allowed to.

[NileMusiq]

Originally Posted by Kickedout917

Now he is in the hole and I dont even know if I am allowed to write him letters. I worked as a contractor in the CMHS office and it sucks. They put him in the hole, took me to the front conference room and told me I was being "let go". Nothing unprofessional happended inside the correctional facility itself. We were writing letters back and forth to each other, me from the outside. Now I want to write to him but word going around is I can't. Any ideas? Any help? I dont know what to do. It sucks and its killing me because we had become very close. I want to ask a friend of mine who still works there but I dont think she will know or even answer my question. I know there is a huge thing going around, and the gossip there is a nightmare. I really miss him. Could I or he get in anymore trouble if I were to try to contact him in there? No one said anything directly to me about not being allowed to.

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. The thing is there is case of "a abuse of position of authority or power when a staff member of an institution has a relationship with a "client" or in your case an inmate. We may say that they are both adults but it is fraternization. Even in the Armed Forces one cannot have a relationship with those not in your class rank. No officers w/enlisted personnel. As a jail liaison, and ministry personnel I could not even receive notes from an inmate or I was at risk for losing my job. When they gave them to me in a bible, I would turn them to the guard who who just throw them away. The guards and wardens knew the men would be men and expected me to act as if I was staff. I did. There are some attractive men in there, and if you do make the decision to write and even mail the letter in the post office, well, as you see, it is still a violation. They did not actually say you couldn't contact him because they probably assumed you would understand it was wrong and that's why they fired you. Most likely, you will not be allowed to have any contact with him. You are lucky you were just fired. Some staff have had small jail terms or have been blackballed. Many of the staff I saw do this...sometimes have "sentence long" bans or five years. Just ask someone who knows in that situation. Usually the warden and his staff will be able to supply you w/that information. You may be eligible for the small ban because you did not violate while at work but broke the rules of communication. It will depend on the governing boards rules they already have set up. You may have to tough this out and see if time will make your love stronger w/o contact. I understand you are hurting but this is a time to get yourself stable. You can do anyone any good when you are not. If you try to contact him, you may make it worse for both of you.

[lil peep]

I'm sorry you're going through this! I think this is the hardest time...right after you leave or get let go. Everything is up in the air and you don't know what you can do/should do. They aren't pressing charges...you didn't do anything against the law, correct? You did violate the code of ethics and the rules about communicating with inmates by writing him, regardless of that it was from home. If you were passing notes at work, you shouldn't have been. They don't want staff getting close to the inmates in any way. That's just how it is! Trust me, I understand falling in love with your guy...it's so hard! But if you guys want your relationship, you'll push past this speed bump.

I don't know what they told you when they let you go, but all you can do is try writing him. They may screw with your mail, they may go over it with a fine tooth comb, he may not ever get it, it may get sent back to you or held for "security" reasons or he may get it. People come back with different stories. We had our mailed screwed with, they held it, they pored over it and sometimes he got it without any issues. It's been three years for us, so trust me, we've had to deal with all of it! All you can do is try and then wait to hear from him. Hope this helps!

[ryansbabe11]

I went through a similar situation...for a while they kept the mail- some he would get then some he wouldn't. He was able to have his mother & another person call me. Eventually he was transferred to another facility and we haven't had any other issues- if you want any other information or someone to talk to, feel free to send me a PM (private message) -- hang in there, it's definitely going to be rough in the beginning but if you truly care for each other you can get through it.