Intro--Nocigarettes1 from Ohio

[Nocigarettes1]

I'm new to this site. I'm new to any prison system. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever think that I'd be in love with a prisoner. This is my story: I met my boyfriend in 1976. He was the best friend of my fiance who was killed in 1978. In 1982, I dated my boyfriend briefly, but I thought he cared for someone else more, so I bowed out gracefully, leaving California and moving back to Ohio to be with my family. When our friends found out that I left, they told me that he really loved me, so I tried to find him. Him being upset, moved so we lost contact. His name is very common. I looked for him for 30 years. In the early 80's there was no internet and I didn't have the funds to hire anyone to find him for me. When I received word three months ago that an old mutual friend found him, I about hit the floor. He was in a San Diego jail with a charge of domestic violence and theft. Seems his girl friend was a raving alcoholic. When he tried to get his things out of their home as she was abusing him, she charged him with theft, then domestic violence. They gave him 6 years which was cut in half to 3. He had no record at all. Never a drug user, doesn't drink, no gang history. He's a chef and teaches Martial Arts. When I first wrote him in jail, he couldn't believe it. This is the most kind, gentlest man you would ever meet. I didn't hesitate one second to let him know that I'm there for him. He was an only child. His parents are both dead, he has no one. That was three months ago. He says that I saved him mentally, and I was in an abusive marriage of 17 years. I was dead inside too. Now, I'm legally separated with my pending divorce. Actually, we saved each other. I could never get the courage together to leave my sick husband. This man and I are soul mates. We are best friends, and we are exactly alike. And, we have history together. I'm in Ohio, he's in souther Cali, but we write every day. I'm so furious with the system. He can't call until he gets out of receiving which takes like 120 days. Why does that take so long? I miss his voice. He gives me strength to keep fighting for my life during this horrible divorce. I have 4 children to support. Now I'm trying to save money to go see him. He doesn't belong there. What's wrong with the California system? Usually, I'm a very hard on anyone that I believe broke the law. But this guy, my God, he's as good as gold. I keep telling him, "well, if God hadn't made you sit still for a minute, I would have never found you." That's all we have right now. We will be married as soon as he gets out. We have that to look forward to. But its all so hard right now. Thanks to anyone out there that's listening. I'm so very sad that I finally found him but we can't be together. And then he says, "we lost 30 years, what's 3 more. We'll make it baby."

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by Nocigarettes1

I'm new to this site. I'm new to any prison system. Never in my wildest dreams would I ever think that I'd be in love with a prisoner. This is my story: I met my boyfriend in 1976. He was the best friend of my fiance who was killed in 1978. In 1982, I dated my boyfriend briefly, but I thought he cared for someone else more, so I bowed out gracefully, leaving California and moving back to Ohio to be with my family. When our friends found out that I left, they told me that he really loved me, so I tried to find him. Him being upset, moved so we lost contact. His name is very common. I looked for him for 30 years. In the early 80's there was no internet and I didn't have the funds to hire anyone to find him for me. When I received word three months ago that an old mutual friend found him, I about hit the floor. He was in a San Diego jail with a charge of domestic violence and theft. Seems his girl friend was a raving alcoholic. When he tried to get his things out of their home as she was abusing him, she charged him with theft, then domestic violence. They gave him 6 years which was cut in half to 3. He had no record at all. Never a drug user, doesn't drink, no gang history. He's a chef and teaches Martial Arts. When I first wrote him in jail, he couldn't believe it. This is the most kind, gentlest man you would ever meet. I didn't hesitate one second to let him know that I'm there for him. He was an only child. His parents are both dead, he has no one. That was three months ago. He says that I saved him mentally, and I was in an abusive marriage of 17 years. I was dead inside too. Now, I'm legally separated with my pending divorce. Actually, we saved each other. I could never get the courage together to leave my sick husband. This man and I are soul mates. We are best friends, and we are exactly alike. And, we have history together. I'm in Ohio, he's in souther Cali, but we write every day. I'm so furious with the system. He can't call until he gets out of receiving which takes like 120 days. Why does that take so long? I miss his voice. He gives me strength to keep fighting for my life during this horrible divorce. I have 4 children to support. Now I'm trying to save money to go see him. He doesn't belong there. What's wrong with the California system? Usually, I'm a very hard on anyone that I believe broke the law. But this guy, my God, he's as good as gold. I keep telling him, "well, if God hadn't made you sit still for a minute, I would have never found you." That's all we have right now. We will be married as soon as he gets out. We have that to look forward to. But its all so hard right now. Thanks to anyone out there that's listening. I'm so very sad that I finally found him but we can't be together. And then he says, "we lost 30 years, what's 3 more. We'll make it baby."

What a special story! Hun, I do not say I am in love with a prisoner, but rather in love with a man that made wrong choices.

Remember, everything happens for a reason. I hope that you two will take time to build a solid friendship and grow closer with each passing day. I also hope your divorce goes as smooth as possible and that you heal from the abuse you suffered at the hands of your husband.

I wish you the very best and it sounds like you have a wonderful life to look forward to with this man.

Peace~

[tbird5260]

Beautiful story! You are a very strong woman. And the system is really wrong somtimes, in my case the same, and it hurts like hell, because here I sit with three kids, and daddy is in Ohio. Thankfully we talk to him every night, and it helps all of us sleep better, well sleep a bit i should say. I can't give you any advice because I am only 6 days into this and have 115 to go. But you will be together again, and then you can let your love shine My family was never big on going to church, but that does not mean I do not believe, and I have faith that we have each other here..even if we don't see each other or know what we look like, we still have a place to come to to ask questions, vent, or even here how some are happy that they get their loved ones back. Be strong, have faith and keep fighting, it will work out in the end.

[Nocigarettes1]

Thank you so much for your words of encouragement. I know it will get better. When we can talk, we'll both jump for joy. Speaking to people that understand helps too. I do go to church. I'm a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. He and I kid around all the time saying that if he hadn't gone to jail or that crazy chick, we would have never found each other. There are over 22,000 people in the United States with his same name. It's crazy. But, we are older. I'm 49, he's almost 57. Time is precious! Still, I'm thanking God for having found him and this web site. Have a great day and I hope you and your love is reunited VERY soon.

[Momma Ann]

welcome-make sure you check out the California Forum:

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=127

[Nocigarettes1]

Thank you, I will definitely look for the California site. Have a great day!

[fbopnomore]

Welcome to Prison Talk, I'm glad you found us and I know you will find support here from others who also have lost their loved ones to prison.

[Nocigarettes1]

Thank you so much. I am finding comfort here.

[shaunna]

Welcome to the forum. Thank you so much for sharing your story, it was beautiful to read. Even though you both have been through difficult times in your lives I think it's special that you have one another for support