Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

ocean girl · #1 05-29-2012, 12:42 AM

My son is in for 10 to 12 years. I too cry every day and think of him morning and night! I have a wonderful and loving church that I attend but cry quietly and put my sun glasses on to hide my tears. Like all of you mothers, I never thought in a million years that my son would end up in this horrible place. I feel frustrated, because I don't know what goes on there and how much help they get. I would hope that he will have the opportunity to get some education...but he has no money to pay for outside or private classes and Iam not in a position to help. I understand that they have a principal. He gets frustrated with trying to get some help. Are there any jobs in these places? They should all be kept busy either makg a little money for themselves or at least helping pay their way and the taxpayers.they What phone plan do you find to be the best deal? When they have no money of their own for phone and commisary, it sure puts a burden on us. God bless all of you families that are suffering just like me.

FindingHarmony · #2 05-29-2012, 12:46 AM

I just found this place today and so far it has been so helpful and supportive. I have a guy in jail on trial right now, I can only imagine how hard it would be if he were my son instead. There are a lot of other mothers here as well. I am sure they will find you.

auntieshay · #3 05-29-2012, 09:15 AM

Ocean girl and finding harmony,
Welcome to PTO, sorry you two have to be here. But this place is a Godsend for those that need it. Please take your time to breathe. Others will come along with advise and answer your questions. Just wanted to welcome you both.

1bird2 · #4 05-29-2012, 08:23 PM

Welcome to the family....I'm so very sorry that you need to be here....VERY thankful that you did find your way to us!! This is no road to walk alone....and if you don't have a child in the system....you really cannot grasp all that it entails. I'm glad you have a great church...that does help.
Yes, prison is expensive.....mine in in Federal so things such as the phone system will be different than state. I do think most prisons offer some types of programs, jobs...but very limited. If he is in CO, there is a forum/thread with info on his particular prison....and they can best advise you on specific questions related to what his prison offers...and they can advise you best on the phone deals.
I am hoping to see you posting...so we can get to know you....and help you anyway we can....you will find lots of encouragement, hope, understanding, love and prayers here. It is a safe place to let it all out...we do care and we do understand.
I think you will feel so much better when you get that first visit!!!
Love and prayers,
XXOO

lettiegonz · #5 05-29-2012, 08:31 PM

Omg I know exactly how u feel. When I am alone my imagination just goes wild thinking if my son is okay. I pray to god that he protects him and a keeps him safe. Never do you think that you would have a child incarcerated . But it happens to the best of families. Keep the faith in god . He will answer your prayers. I go to church a lot and pray.

tglsmom · #6 05-29-2012, 09:39 PM

Welcome ocean girl and FindingHarmony. This forum is great for parents, but PTO is great for anyone with a loved one in prison. There are some wonderful people here who will not judge, but will offer support, love and encouragement. Most of all, you will know that you are not alone. That comforts me and I'm sure it will you, too. I hope you'll come back often.

Eileen_Meeks · #7 05-29-2012, 10:31 PM

Welcome both of you. You will find lots of information to read and even more friends to help you through. Don't be afraid to vent, ask questions, or even just make connections.

You're not alone in this!
Good luck and God bless...

bumblebee37 · #8 05-30-2012, 06:40 PM

OMG! I was shocked by all the new names on this thread. welcome to PWCIP even though none of us ever dreamed we'd be looking for this kind of support, knowledge, and help. This is a awesome place with much understanding. All of you will have friendships grow and will never have to be alone in this again.

bb

Jose's mom · #9 05-30-2012, 08:10 PM

Welcome!!!
This a great place to find comfort and understanding!! Please come here often!!

auntieshay · #10 05-31-2012, 11:09 AM

BB37, I too am shocked at the amount of new members, but I am also glad that they were able to find PTO while still new to the prison experience. I know you went at this alone for so long. Proud to call you friend, because you are still here giving advise and lifting spirits while going thru your own personal hell. HUGS

bumblebee37 · #11 05-31-2012, 05:27 PM

aww, you made me blush auntie. You know I had some really lonely years waiting on Joe. Most of my friends and family went their own ways shortly after my son was busted. Between hearing 'you should have set boundies', 'let go and let him do it on his own' and my bad attitude it didn't take long at all to disconnect from "my loved ones". I don't ever want anyone to feel that empty and I have made friends here so thats why I keep coming back. I will tell the people who frequent this forum that it doesn't matter how anyone (friend or family) feels about your child or what they think you should do because when the lights go out at your house you are the one who has to deal with the gut wrenching feelings that your child isn't free. it's you as their parent that get to fight the demons of 'maybe if I had seen this coming' and what if I had done this or that different, those who voice their negative opinions might have had a more intelligent kid that soared to be a rocket scientist but believe me not all was or will be perfect in their lives ~ thats a friggin fairytale ~ not all people have the same morals, education, resources or knowledge so we raise our kids the best we can and if we want to stand by them who the hell is someone to tell us it isn't what we should be doing or have done? (can you tell Im having issues??? LOL) just keep coming back folks, my humor is getting a little sicker everyday and folks are really starting to piss me off. I jammed that Kelly clarkson song 'Stronger' all day at the office and had those little kids dancing.heeheee. and let me tell you, I am pretty hot dancing with my cane too!!! (hugs) bb

Nicksmother · #12 06-02-2012, 08:37 PM

Bumblebee37 I agree! No one understands (but these mommas on this site) why I am still standing solidly in my son's corner! It is my money, my phone, my time and my gas. As long as I am not asking for their money to send to him - they can go kick rocks as far as I care. That is my baby and regardless of his choices I still worry and wonder about him EVERYDAY. I don't care what they call me.

lettiegonz · #13 06-02-2012, 09:56 PM

@nickmothers your words are wells said. We are mothers and we will love our children unconditional . This site is wonderful, I am not alone.

asmom · #14 06-03-2012, 11:11 AM

Yay for all the wonderful moms!

JerryB2012 · #15 06-05-2012, 05:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by asmom

Yay for all the wonderful moms!

and Dads. At least one (me) coming to this site for comfort and support and commiseration.

Adamsmom94 · #16 06-05-2012, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FindingHarmony

I just found this place today and so far it has been so helpful and supportive. I have a guy in jail on trial right now, I can only imagine how hard it would be if he were my son instead. There are a lot of other mothers here as well. I am sure they will find you.

Hello and Welcome, I too just found this site very recently. My 17 year old son has been awiting trial for over a year now, and how hard its been. I am a recovering addict and wasnt the best mother, he was taken from me for a short period of time. I hold onto a ton of guilt and idk how to handle it at times. I do a lot of crying, praying and worrying. I wish i could take his place. He was there when a murder was committed, it was more of a self defense but he and the other boy are being charged with first degree murder.....i am sooo frightened. I know it sounds horrible my son isnt a violent kid and this is all sooooo terrible!!!!! I guess it feels good to vent but i also feel like i shouldnt share as I feel as though we will be judged. Treading very carefully but hope to hear back with some encouragement. God Bless U and ur family.

momother · #17 06-05-2012, 07:02 PM

Here at PTO we don't judge.....We are here to offer support and encouragement. We don't know your situation... Hang in there things will work out....Wecome to all.

1bird2 · #18 06-05-2012, 07:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adamsmom94

Hello and Welcome, I too just found this site very recently. My 17 year old son has been awiting trial for over a year now, and how hard its been. I am a recovering addict and wasnt the best mother, he was taken from me for a short period of time. I hold onto a ton of guilt and idk how to handle it at times. I do a lot of crying, praying and worrying. I wish i could take his place. He was there when a murder was committed, it was more of a self defense but he and the other boy are being charged with first degree murder.....i am sooo frightened. I know it sounds horrible my son isnt a violent kid and this is all sooooo terrible!!!!! I guess it feels good to vent but i also feel like i shouldnt share as I feel as though we will be judged. Treading very carefully but hope to hear back with some encouragement. God Bless U and ur family.

Oh my dear Adamsmom, there is no way you will be judged here...no way. We are here to help you make your way through this nightmare...and it is a nightmare. There are several mom's and probably dads that are in your shoes.....as far as the crimes committed. We are here for EACH OTHER....and sometimes our kid's specific problems are addressed...ie. addictions, wrong time/wrong place, accidents etc. Some actually have kids who are innocent...yet incarcerated. The main thing is that we ALL have a child in the prison system....so we ALL experience the unknowns, the heartaches and fears, and tears and anxieties. We are here to support and offer hope and encouragement. I offer love and prayers always!! My heart goes out a bit more to those of you who have to deal with victims....and I can only say that I'm so very sorry for the additional pain that brings. I hope you will come on in and let us support you any way we can.....and we will do that.
I promise to keep you and your son in my prayers....this is a job for God, and He is willing and capable to see you through it...and He brought you to us...so that we can help.
Love and prayers,
XXOO

szcunane · #19 06-07-2012, 02:32 PM

I am so glad this site is here - - and BB - -I'm with you, I guess I am surprised at how many new parents (including you in here Jerry!) . .but I am so glad that all you parents are here - -we are in this together. I think the advise, encouragement, sometimes laughter and tears I have gotten from this site - is better than any help I could get in a psychiatrists office. You all understand . ..and give plenty of grace when needed. BB, your humor and advise these past two years, helped me through a lot of tough night - - and 1Bird - -well, you know I love you and your gift of encouragement . .I could go on and on about the ladies who have helped me through and will keep on helping me - -I've got 15 more years left to "serve" and then the worries after - - GEESH! This isn't the life I signed up for . ..none of us did - -we love our kids, we hate what they did and we hate the system they are living in. Yes, it is expensive to now have to add those outrageous phone fees, and canteen money to our budgets, but our kids need us to do what we can. We need to be there for them if we can, and if they deserve it (don't let your kids manipulate you from prison) - -you do what you can, when you can... anyway, ocean girl - - the tears will slowly dry up only to resurface again when you least expect them, slowly you will find a new routine. You will have some friends and family hurt you, and others support you in ways you never expected. Your son will actually find a friend of two in prison and he will have a new routine. He will probably get a job . . .making a few pennies a day. He needs you, so you take care of you. Take it one day at a time, and come back here - you will find some wonderful people here!

ocean girl · #20 06-07-2012, 10:00 PM

Thank you for all of your encouragement and good advice. I hope that someday I can help others like you. Iam not a selfish person but I don't have the experience that many of you do.so thank you for guiding me along the way. Iam so so glad that I found this site...it is such comfort god bless all of you.

ocean girl · #21 06-07-2012, 10:12 PM

That is so sweet, thank you so much. Iam now finding some peace of mind and such wonderful support! hugs to you all.

emilee5 · #22 06-08-2012, 12:11 AM

Hello, my 18yr old son will be sentenced to a federal prison in the morning for a conspiracy case that he took a plea deal for he may get between 27 to 36 months and this is my 1st time really being away from him and sooner than we thought because usually they have time after sentencing to turn themselves in but he did come up dirty on a ua for weed and this has made the probation ask for a higher sentence and that he be arrested after court.I just can't grasp the fact that he will be gone for a long amount of time from his family and especially his little brothers and sister as iam a single mother and in a way hes been a father figure to the youngest two, his two year old brother adores him and his six year old sister is so very upset that as of bed time tonight she will not be seeing him for awhile and at that point it will be in a prison visitation room something i know will make her sad as well. Iam just very lost right now and i can't stop the tears i just don't know what to say or do at this point but glad that at least some of you may understand what i feel like tonight.

AML'sMom · #23 06-08-2012, 12:42 AM

Emilee5, we visit our son every weekend, and you can actually forget where you are. We talk, play scrabble or spades, and talk...You will be sad when you leave, but you just look forward to the next visit, phone call, or letter. Have his brothers and sister write letters or draw pictures to send him. Hang in there, and it will be over before you know it.

auntieshay · #24 06-08-2012, 09:28 AM

Welcome to AML'sMom,emilee5. So glad you all have found PTO. It is a wonderful site for all of us with inmates. Browse around a bit and post whenever you want to. Someone is always around to listen and understand. So Sorry you need to be here, but it is the best place to be for understanding and support.

auntieshay · #25 06-08-2012, 09:29 AM

oops, emilee5-hi. You are so right about the visits, very bittersweet.