Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Babydoll818 · #1 06-07-2012, 06:27 PM

Hi guys i just want to share my story. We were together since last Valentines Day. In the 16 months of being his lady- I can honestly say that I truly have gotten to know this man. Let's just say that he spoils me with letters & phone calls. From day 1 he has given me so much attention- and i loved every minute of it (don't we all?)... until we started fighting. Of course over trust issues and working through our insecurities (we all came into this with baggage), but we were in love so it was worth it.

I believe that over time he became obsessed with making me happy. He realized what it took to get me, and that was SPOILING me with his attention in whatever way possible. He admits to being obsessed with me. We started fighting 5 months into our relationship, and since then we practically fight/ argue about the littlest things. With the exception of sometimes not fighting for a few days at a time i can safely say i feel like we have had a fight everyday since August 2011. (uh huh, not a way to live your life...) He has become so obsessed and insecure- in a really pathetic-puppy-in-love kinda way.

He calls me throughtout the day to see what im doing, & he pieces my day together in his head & when any time frame is not accounted for he worries and worries about it. I know a lot of these qualities any girl would kill to have a guy who truly cared so much- but really, he does it TOO MUCH. He is a sucker for love- and on top of that he's a prisoner who has wayyy too much time to think about me. When we fight- he literally stops eating and i see over time he has bags under his eyes and loses weight over me. He has left many voicemails weeping and begging me not to leave him, it is truly heartbreaking.

I dont know how it became this way- but little by little i asserted my dominance over him in our relationship. I pretty much am 100% in control of our relationship- i dominate every argument. He started off with letting me win here and there, but now he has created this monster...me... the monster is me. I think he loves having me tell him what to do...he loves submitting to me- its like psychologically, the gender roles have reversed. I loved it at the beginning- but after a year of it, i grew sick of it. I grew to despise him for his weakness, his trembling voice, so unsure of himself and what to say when we fight because he is so afraid i will leave. He tells me i treat him badly because i know no matter what i do- he will never leave me, and deep down in my heart- i know that is exactly right. I am set off by the littlest things he does, even when he confesses his love to me.. i tell him he's being too feminine. I know- it is so wrong and so untrue! But i can't help it, ..im drunk with this power, and the best i can do and the only way to show my love to him is by staying by his side.

But enough is enough.
I'm tired of fighting everyday. I'm tired off always being angry at him, angry at myself, and angry with the situation. We simply do not just have little squabbles..i make it a screaming match! And he doesnt even scream back. He just whimpers and tells me he loves me and cant leave me. It sets me off even more, aggravates me more, makes me sick to my stomach. Perhaps because deep down, i know he deserves better. Deep down i wish the spirit in him would RISE UP and defend himself! Show his inner strength!!! But he only knows how to submit to me. Maybe for once- i want to feel ..feminine. He makes me feel like the insensitive dude. I tried for so long, but "i just cant do it anymore" Ah, the famous last words..

I'm tired of being the unkind one, the one who is always angry. I'm tired of hurting him, and im tired of being so cruel. He's starved for love- and i am the one keeping him from it- so i stopped calling him yesterday. I changed my number today. My intention is to allow myself to heal, and to stop hurting him, even if it means i have to walk away from him and completely break his heart.

Thank you for reading & allowing me to share. I really have no questions, but any input or wisdom is more than welcome.

MRS.GRIFFIN · #2 06-07-2012, 06:37 PM

Im sorry to hear thats its over, but as a woman who admits when she wrong takes alot of strength. So im sending prayers your way for healing, strength and wisdom. Keep god first in all you do.

Miss_A · #3 06-07-2012, 06:47 PM

Honestly, the man you're seeing, I believe, is the man he truly is. It just took time for you to see it. You're not a monster. You're just not into weak-minded men. Nothing wrong with that.

It's great that you recognize the relationship isn't healthy.

I know you're hurting, but I'm sure you know you've made the best decision. I see you moving onto bigger and better things in no time.

he_is_missed · #4 06-07-2012, 06:50 PM

sorry your relationship has created a "monster". :/ I know EXACTLY what you mean though! I went through the same thing with an ex (he was not in prison) and I hated the person I became :/ I yelled and screamed and told him horrid things and he would just beg and plead and even cry! it would disgust me! I'm 5'3 and he was 6'4 and he would sit down and I would stand over him and yell in his face. :/ scary feeling when you don't understand the person in the mirror :/ BUT it is good that you can see that you didnt like who you were in the relationship. you live and you LEARN.

Lisa Jeanne · #5 06-07-2012, 06:56 PM

WOW....that was some impressive self-honesty. I hope everyone sees your post.

InmateLover67 · #6 06-07-2012, 06:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babydoll818

Hi guys i just want to share my story. We were together since last Valentines Day. In the 16 months of being his lady- I can honestly say that I truly have gotten to know this man. Let's just say that he spoils me with letters & phone calls. From day 1 he has given me so much attention- and i loved every minute of it (don't we all?)... until we started fighting. Of course over trust issues and working through our insecurities (we all came into this with baggage), but we were in love so it was worth it.

I believe that over time he became obsessed with making me happy. He realized what it took to get me, and that was SPOILING me with his attention in whatever way possible. He admits to being obsessed with me. We started fighting 5 months into our relationship, and since then we practically fight/ argue about the littlest things. With the exception of sometimes not fighting for a few days at a time i can safely say i feel like we have had a fight everyday since August 2011. (uh huh, not a way to live your life...) He has become so obsessed and insecure- in a really pathetic-puppy-in-love kinda way.

He calls me throughtout the day to see what im doing, & he pieces my day together in his head & when any time frame is not accounted for he worries and worries about it. I know a lot of these qualities any girl would kill to have a guy who truly cared so much- but really, he does it TOO MUCH. He is a sucker for love- and on top of that he's a prisoner who has wayyy too much time to think about me. When we fight- he literally stops eating and i see over time he has bags under his eyes and loses weight over me. He has left many voicemails weeping and begging me not to leave him, it is truly heartbreaking.

I dont know how it became this way- but little by little i asserted my dominance over him in our relationship. I pretty much am 100% in control of our relationship- i dominate every argument. He started off with letting me win here and there, but now he has created this monster...me... the monster is me. I think he loves having me tell him what to do...he loves submitting to me- its like psychologically, the gender roles have reversed. I loved it at the beginning- but after a year of it, i grew sick of it. I grew to despise him for his weakness, his trembling voice, so unsure of himself and what to say when we fight because he is so afraid i will leave. He tells me i treat him badly because i know no matter what i do- he will never leave me, and deep down in my heart- i know that is exactly right. I am set off by the littlest things he does, even when he confesses his love to me.. i tell him he's being too feminine. I know- it is so wrong and so untrue! But i can't help it, ..im drunk with this power, and the best i can do and the only way to show my love to him is by staying by his side.

But enough is enough.
I'm tired of fighting everyday. I'm tired off always being angry at him, angry at myself, and angry with the situation. We simply do not just have little squabbles..i make it a screaming match! And he doesnt even scream back. He just whimpers and tells me he loves me and cant leave me. It sets me off even more, aggravates me more, makes me sick to my stomach. Perhaps because deep down, i know he deserves better. Deep down i wish the spirit in him would RISE UP and defend himself! Show his inner strength!!! But he only knows how to submit to me. Maybe for once- i want to feel ..feminine. He makes me feel like the insensitive dude. I tried for so long, but "i just cant do it anymore" Ah, the famous last words..

I'm tired of being the unkind one, the one who is always angry. I'm tired of hurting him, and im tired of being so cruel. He's starved for love- and i am the one keeping him from it- so i stopped calling him yesterday. I changed my number today. My intention is to allow myself to heal, and to stop hurting him, even if it means i have to walk away from him and completely break his heart.

Thank you for reading & allowing me to share. I really have no questions, but any input or wisdom is more than welcome.

It is good that you are breaking it off with him. It does not sound like this relationship was a two-way street.

He deserves to be treated with love and respect and you deserve to feel feminine and not in control all the time.

He will be hurt, but in time, his heart will heal. You obviously will be fine and I hope you find what you are looking for.

Peace~

thisfamily · #7 06-07-2012, 07:01 PM

You did him a favor... now he can begin his healing process and find himself again. I'm sure years later he would be shocked he was like this in a relationship and thank you for setting him free. You did try to warn him and tell him what was gonna happen.. and you had to pull out all the stops after you reached your limit. I hope you will be okay, too.

nimuay · #8 06-07-2012, 08:35 PM

I see something slightly different. He was 'winning' you, and then starting to emotionally abuse you, constantly tagging you and obsessing over you. He wasn't healthy to start with. You don't get a complete free pass, because it's always better to be kind than cruel, but sometimes you go over an edge when the emotional blackmail won't stop. It starts to be very unhealthy and threatens to drag you down to drowning.

Jootje · #9 06-08-2012, 12:09 AM

It takes two to tango and sounds like the two of you were not dancing the same rhythm. His interaction with you does sound a bit unhealthy and to that your reaction went over the top making the two of you so far apart mentally that something had to give. How un-loveydovey it may sound: some people are just not meant to be together because they are not able to read the same page. And how hard your decision may be for him but also for you, someone had to make one. I am sure someday he will find someone else just like you will.

hisbabygurl2014 · #10 06-08-2012, 12:30 AM

You are soo honest, and i wish one day he can heal from the hurt and know how to act when in a relationship next time. He might be bitter with others when he does get to into relationship and i hope thats not the case. I hope you move and heal from this pain aswell

lesliew32 · #11 06-08-2012, 06:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babydoll818

Hi guys i just want to share my story. We were together since last Valentines Day. In the 16 months of being his lady- I can honestly say that I truly have gotten to know this man. Let's just say that he spoils me with letters & phone calls. From day 1 he has given me so much attention- and i loved every minute of it (don't we all?)... until we started fighting. Of course over trust issues and working through our insecurities (we all came into this with baggage), but we were in love so it was worth it.

I believe that over time he became obsessed with making me happy. He realized what it took to get me, and that was SPOILING me with his attention in whatever way possible. He admits to being obsessed with me. We started fighting 5 months into our relationship, and since then we practically fight/ argue about the littlest things. With the exception of sometimes not fighting for a few days at a time i can safely say i feel like we have had a fight everyday since August 2011. (uh huh, not a way to live your life...) He has become so obsessed and insecure- in a really pathetic-puppy-in-love kinda way.

He calls me throughtout the day to see what im doing, & he pieces my day together in his head & when any time frame is not accounted for he worries and worries about it. I know a lot of these qualities any girl would kill to have a guy who truly cared so much- but really, he does it TOO MUCH. He is a sucker for love- and on top of that he's a prisoner who has wayyy too much time to think about me. When we fight- he literally stops eating and i see over time he has bags under his eyes and loses weight over me. He has left many voicemails weeping and begging me not to leave him, it is truly heartbreaking.

I dont know how it became this way- but little by little i asserted my dominance over him in our relationship. I pretty much am 100% in control of our relationship- i dominate every argument. He started off with letting me win here and there, but now he has created this monster...me... the monster is me. I think he loves having me tell him what to do...he loves submitting to me- its like psychologically, the gender roles have reversed. I loved it at the beginning- but after a year of it, i grew sick of it. I grew to despise him for his weakness, his trembling voice, so unsure of himself and what to say when we fight because he is so afraid i will leave. He tells me i treat him badly because i know no matter what i do- he will never leave me, and deep down in my heart- i know that is exactly right. I am set off by the littlest things he does, even when he confesses his love to me.. i tell him he's being too feminine. I know- it is so wrong and so untrue! But i can't help it, ..im drunk with this power, and the best i can do and the only way to show my love to him is by staying by his side.

But enough is enough.
I'm tired of fighting everyday. I'm tired off always being angry at him, angry at myself, and angry with the situation. We simply do not just have little squabbles..i make it a screaming match! And he doesnt even scream back. He just whimpers and tells me he loves me and cant leave me. It sets me off even more, aggravates me more, makes me sick to my stomach. Perhaps because deep down, i know he deserves better. Deep down i wish the spirit in him would RISE UP and defend himself! Show his inner strength!!! But he only knows how to submit to me. Maybe for once- i want to feel ..feminine. He makes me feel like the insensitive dude. I tried for so long, but "i just cant do it anymore" Ah, the famous last words..

I'm tired of being the unkind one, the one who is always angry. I'm tired of hurting him, and im tired of being so cruel. He's starved for love- and i am the one keeping him from it- so i stopped calling him yesterday. I changed my number today. My intention is to allow myself to heal, and to stop hurting him, even if it means i have to walk away from him and completely break his heart.

Thank you for reading & allowing me to share. I really have no questions, but any input or wisdom is more than welcome.

You don't seemm like an angel. It seems to me like you enjoyed it almost bragging in your post. However I guess I'm glad its over for the both of you.

shaywow · #12 06-08-2012, 08:26 AM

Hmmmm...this was entertaining 2 read! But him being a punk is sad but you being a bully is just as sad! I hope that he will be fine! You said that you changed your num so hopefully he wnt try 2 harm himself bc he cant talk 2 you. I fill like he may shower you with letters to get you back in his life and u make eventually break. For sum reason i dnt think you have herd the last from this guy! Goodluck

GuerosMama · #13 06-08-2012, 09:42 AM

That's all pretty twisted huh? He clearly needs help that you couldn't give him. its good that you have the insight to see and admit the ways in which you also were a bully, and to walk away. You'll be much happier when you are in a healthy relationship. I would question if your drunkness with power will follow you though, if it's something you thrive on, then you'll probably.end up in a similar relationship again. Just something to think about.

Sounds like you made the right decision, and best of luck to you.

bricesPnut · #14 06-08-2012, 04:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimuay

I see something slightly different. He was 'winning' you, and then starting to emotionally abuse you, constantly tagging you and obsessing over you. He wasn't healthy to start with. You don't get a complete free pass, because it's always better to be kind than cruel, but sometimes you go over an edge when the emotional blackmail won't stop. It starts to be very unhealthy and threatens to drag you down to drowning.

Nimuay you are totally right me ex was exactly like this I was I kindness girl and I can said I was a sweet heart caring person after day by day I become someone else by not knowing and make me really sick to see myself turn to be a monster or be angry all the time.

**shaunna** · #15 06-08-2012, 06:57 PM

It definately doesn't sound like it was a very healthy relationship and i think you made the right decision by moving on. All the best for the future

pisces317 · #16 06-09-2012, 01:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimuay

I see something slightly different. He was 'winning' you, and then starting to emotionally abuse you, constantly tagging you and obsessing over you. He wasn't healthy to start with. You don't get a complete free pass, because it's always better to be kind than cruel, but sometimes you go over an edge when the emotional blackmail won't stop. It starts to be very unhealthy and threatens to drag you down to drowning.

mzthickythic · #17 06-12-2012, 02:40 PM

READN THIS POST DISGUST ME!! I HOPE DUDE FIND SUMBODI THTS GONE LOVE N TREAT HIM THE WAY A MAN SHOULD B TREATD AND FROM THE SOUND OF IT U LOOKN FA A BEAST FOR A MAN KEEP LOOKN U BOUND 2 FIND HYM AND I PROMISE U YOU WILL NOT TALK 2 OR TREAT HYM LIKE THT ROLES WILL CHANGE!! Karma is a bytch!

Lockheart · #18 06-12-2012, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mzthickythic

READN THIS POST DISGUST ME!! I HOPE DUDE FIND SUMBODI THTS GONE LOVE N TREAT HIM THE WAY A MAN SHOULD B TREATD AND FROM THE SOUND OF IT U LOOKN FA A BEAST FOR A MAN KEEP LOOKN U BOUND 2 FIND HYM AND I PROMISE U YOU WILL NOT TALK 2 OR TREAT HYM LIKE THT ROLES WILL CHANGE!! Karma is a bytch!

Dang you had some animosity writing this post. Not everyone wants a passive man.

PEN PAL 2 FEW · #19 06-12-2012, 04:56 PM

It sounds like maybe he is obsessed with you? maybe he has insecurity issues from the past and feels that if he didn't do everything to make you happy, you would leave him and well sometimes too much of something can push the other person away.
I wish you both luck and send some prayers, I hope that he can find a way to get some help, hopefully in the future if it is meant to be, you 2 can work it out or at least remain friends?

Isaacsweetie · #20 06-12-2012, 07:01 PM

While I agree with the other posters it sounds like a very unhealthy relationship and good for you for gettng out of something that is not ment for you and unhealthy to you. I feel like you should at least break up with him and not just change your number and hope he goes away. I dunno it just sounds kinda mean to just change your number. That is gonna hurt him way worse than you just putting on your big girl panties and telling him it isnt gonna work. I am sorry but I feel like it is a coward move to just ignore him and change your number as opposed to fessing up and telling him it isnt gonna work.

Babydoll818 · #21 06-12-2012, 08:23 PM

Thank you, everyone. Your words -and kindness really touch me. Gotta love pto!

waiting4shawn · #22 06-12-2012, 08:39 PM

Good luck! It sounds like you made the right decision for both of you...time will heal all wounds for him

luckykj · #23 06-13-2012, 02:20 AM

Thanks so much for posting this. I am feeling a lot of the same feelings

I don't know IF I should leave, IF this is the life I want for myself?? There are just so many emotions that it's hard to separate them sometimes!

nimuay · #24 06-13-2012, 03:41 AM

You have to be so so careful with emotional vampires . . . just brushing your teeth can bring them to full cry because they're not getting that moment's attention. It's psychically exhausting.

**Patty** · #25 06-13-2012, 04:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Babydoll818

Hi guys i just want to share my story. We were together since last Valentines Day. In the 16 months of being his lady- I can honestly say that I truly have gotten to know this man. Let's just say that he spoils me with letters & phone calls. From day 1 he has given me so much attention- and i loved every minute of it (don't we all?)... until we started fighting. Of course over trust issues and working through our insecurities (we all came into this with baggage), but we were in love so it was worth it.

I believe that over time he became obsessed with making me happy. He realized what it took to get me, and that was SPOILING me with his attention in whatever way possible. He admits to being obsessed with me. We started fighting 5 months into our relationship, and since then we practically fight/ argue about the littlest things. With the exception of sometimes not fighting for a few days at a time i can safely say i feel like we have had a fight everyday since August 2011. (uh huh, not a way to live your life...) He has become so obsessed and insecure- in a really pathetic-puppy-in-love kinda way.

He calls me throughtout the day to see what im doing, & he pieces my day together in his head & when any time frame is not accounted for he worries and worries about it. I know a lot of these qualities any girl would kill to have a guy who truly cared so much- but really, he does it TOO MUCH. He is a sucker for love- and on top of that he's a prisoner who has wayyy too much time to think about me. When we fight- he literally stops eating and i see over time he has bags under his eyes and loses weight over me. He has left many voicemails weeping and begging me not to leave him, it is truly heartbreaking.

I dont know how it became this way- but little by little i asserted my dominance over him in our relationship. I pretty much am 100% in control of our relationship- i dominate every argument. He started off with letting me win here and there, but now he has created this monster...me... the monster is me. I think he loves having me tell him what to do...he loves submitting to me- its like psychologically, the gender roles have reversed. I loved it at the beginning- but after a year of it, i grew sick of it. I grew to despise him for his weakness, his trembling voice, so unsure of himself and what to say when we fight because he is so afraid i will leave. He tells me i treat him badly because i know no matter what i do- he will never leave me, and deep down in my heart- i know that is exactly right. I am set off by the littlest things he does, even when he confesses his love to me.. i tell him he's being too feminine. I know- it is so wrong and so untrue! But i can't help it, ..im drunk with this power, and the best i can do and the only way to show my love to him is by staying by his side.

But enough is enough.
I'm tired of fighting everyday. I'm tired off always being angry at him, angry at myself, and angry with the situation. We simply do not just have little squabbles..i make it a screaming match! And he doesnt even scream back. He just whimpers and tells me he loves me and cant leave me. It sets me off even more, aggravates me more, makes me sick to my stomach. Perhaps because deep down, i know he deserves better. Deep down i wish the spirit in him would RISE UP and defend himself! Show his inner strength!!! But he only knows how to submit to me. Maybe for once- i want to feel ..feminine. He makes me feel like the insensitive dude. I tried for so long, but "i just cant do it anymore" Ah, the famous last words..

I'm tired of being the unkind one, the one who is always angry. I'm tired of hurting him, and im tired of being so cruel. He's starved for love- and i am the one keeping him from it- so i stopped calling him yesterday. I changed my number today. My intention is to allow myself to heal, and to stop hurting him, even if it means i have to walk away from him and completely break his heart.

Thank you for reading & allowing me to share. I really have no questions, but any input or wisdom is more than welcome.

People pay good money to have someone treat them in the manner you have described. In person, on the phone, via webcam - the adult entertainment industry has profited greatly from the sub-types you describe. Having a PSO business myself I know I charge extra for the pleasure they derive from such treatment. I'm just sayin'