Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

ChrisWifey · #1 05-25-2012, 01:13 PM

Okay so I haven't been on here in a while. My life has been extremly busy with getting back to school again and working and taking care of my 3 kids. But it is time that I need to call for help from all of you beautiful people. This might take a minute....sorry...

So a few months ago I got a letter from Chris saying that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that he was getting back with his crazy ex. He hasn't written or called in many months, not even to check in on his son. All of a sudden a couple days ago I get a letter in the mail from another inmate saying that he thinks I should write and send pictures of our son becasue he is always talking about us and misses us. That he is having a hard time and that he thinks that he wont write because of his pride and becasue he knows he messed up real bad. Then I get a phone call today from "a friend of a friend of Chirs" who tells me all of the above and wants to know if I want to send him a message. I'm like NO...except that I have nothing to say to him that I'm tired of the going back and forth becasue he thinks that everyone else knows whats good for him but his own self.

Am I wrong for feelings this way?

Then I check my mail and hour later and I have a letter from non-other than Chris himself. With the I'm sorry I f'd up and I love you and miss you and I want to know about my son. Send me pictures and write me back. All that "awesome" stuff. He says he needs to tell me some stuff and that he has some questions for me and that I should already know what they are. Really?? He has questions for me??! What gives him the right after all the times hes done this to me to have questions for me that he can't write until I respond?

Am I really bing a Bih?? Or am I right for feeling like I shouldn't deal with this crap anymore?

Someone please help me out here and tell me if I'm just being a crazy person! Be honest...my feelings wont be hurt. I know I can get honesty here.

Thanks all!!

Scotties_Girl21 · #2 05-25-2012, 01:19 PM

I don't think your wrong at all or being a b. Sounds like he needs to put on his big boy pants and figure out what he really wants and what his priorities are. I would write one letter back and be like well I don't need someone that can just walk out on us at the drop of a hat and you really need to show me something before I could ever commit to you again.

freedomhappens · #3 05-25-2012, 01:57 PM

Why are you concerned about how you appear to some guy who thinks you're trash? The only reason he is contacting you now is because he wants something. Don't allow yourself to be less than human in someone elses eyes.

ilovecoffee · #4 05-25-2012, 02:49 PM

If it was me with my babe I doubt I would let him back in. On occasion send a pic of his son and thats that! Why continue on your life worrying if hes going to hurt you again? Not worth it, life is toooooooooo short!

missZ · #5 05-25-2012, 03:05 PM

Chicc I've read most of ya post an mi opinion....dis dude aunt meant to b fo u ....u had health issue money issues 3 kids on ya own and he dump I fo his economic.....#$%&& da fcc he is thinking....chicc life to short focus on ya 3 blessings an u and ...afvjbjhjyrs Him !!!!

Miss Z

hisbabygurl2014 · #6 05-25-2012, 03:09 PM

I dont understand these boys that call themselves "man" sheesh!! And this is what i think- i real man will contact you before he sends others to vatuge on behalf of him.Thats playing too much game and i cannot stand that. Than he finally sends you a letter after few other people calling you and writing you. I say let this one go. He is clearly not in the same level as you. All you have to do is send him pictures of you guys baby (assuming u guys had a baby togather?if not than dont) and thats it.
Move on with your life you dont need guys like him in your life who cannot speak for themselves. Honestly i am pissed for you. He needs to go back to the crazy ex that he went back too. PLEASE LADIES DO NOT BE A REBOUND! That ex doesnt want him now he wants you. I say leave him high and dry because some people have to learn the hard way and in his case he has too.

Are you being a B? no i dont because you are standing up for yourself and not let this guy treat like trash. I think that you need to move on. Its hard to get rid of something so familiar but truest me it gets better after that.

Good luck ma

InmateLover67 · #7 05-25-2012, 03:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChrisWifey

Okay so I haven't been on here in a while. My life has been extremly busy with getting back to school again and working and taking care of my 3 kids. But it is time that I need to call for help from all of you beautiful people. This might take a minute....sorry...

So a few months ago I got a letter from Chris saying that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that he was getting back with his crazy ex. He hasn't written or called in many months, not even to check in on his son. All of a sudden a couple days ago I get a letter in the mail from another inmate saying that he thinks I should write and send pictures of our son becasue he is always talking about us and misses us. That he is having a hard time and that he thinks that he wont write because of his pride and becasue he knows he messed up real bad. Then I get a phone call today from "a friend of a friend of Chirs" who tells me all of the above and wants to know if I want to send him a message. I'm like NO...except that I have nothing to say to him that I'm tired of the going back and forth becasue he thinks that everyone else knows whats good for him but his own self.

Am I wrong for feelings this way?

Then I check my mail and hour later and I have a letter from non-other than Chris himself. With the I'm sorry I f'd up and I love you and miss you and I want to know about my son. Send me pictures and write me back. All that "awesome" stuff. He says he needs to tell me some stuff and that he has some questions for me and that I should already know what they are. Really?? He has questions for me??! What gives him the right after all the times hes done this to me to have questions for me that he can't write until I respond?

Am I really bing a Bih?? Or am I right for feeling like I shouldn't deal with this crap anymore?

Someone please help me out here and tell me if I'm just being a crazy person! Be honest...my feelings wont be hurt. I know I can get honesty here.

Thanks all!!

Hun, don't fall into his trap. Send him pictures of his son, without any letter or message. Do not write back to him or accept ANY phone calls.

You do not need his headaches and heartache anymore. You deserve to be loved and respected. He cannot provide that for you, so move on.

He has a right to have pictures of his son, but that is all! No letters, messages or anything from you. He will try to weasel his way back in. Stand tall and keep your head held high.

Peace~

ChrisWifey · #8 05-25-2012, 03:27 PM

Thanks ladies. Everything you guys have said is exactly what I've been doing and he thinks he can sweet talk me. I'm not gonna go down that road. I feel like I need to keep the contact to a minimum and just send him pictures of our son. He wants to know what he's doing and how he's doing. I feel like all of that can be said in pictures. Thanks for all the input.

La Divina · #9 05-26-2012, 07:35 AM

Girl keep it pushing dont pay him no damn mind....u deserve better..lil boys need to be punished cuse he aint no man

msgreenthumb67 · #10 05-26-2012, 07:55 AM

You know what I think is he didn't so much as ASK about his child for MONTHS and all of a sudden he wants to play caring dad again....aside from playing you!!! FOR REAL???? Yeah....IGNORE!!! Return all letters to sender....address unknown. Do not accept phone calls either. He moved on and so should you. Doesn't matter whatever his game is....if he wants to make stuff RIGHT with you, he had a LOT to prove first. And no he doesn't have any rights concerning your child either IMO....desertion is desertion (sp?). If he loved that child so much he should have acted like it whether or not you and he were together!!!! Am I wrong??? Maybe I AM the bitch but I don't think he deserves ANYTHING from you...my opinion.

1 Corinthians 1:25-29

**sidewalker** · #11 05-26-2012, 08:24 AM

maybe he's thinking about Fathers Day. (ok Im sort of kidding)
I'd go ahead and send him photos of his son.
If you wanted to write something just keep it to things the boy is doing. (dont know how old the son is, but things like, walking, weight, height, immunizations, teeth, etc)
I'd not accept any calls from any prison, and its up to you if you accept letters.
For me personally, I might but Im not sure.

brooks · #12 05-26-2012, 09:45 AM

You know, he's likely contacting you all sorry because the crazy ex got sick of his bull..who's really the crazy one there ?

I send pictures "once a year" I can send more often & I may, but NO Words. My ex has no visitation. He's manipulative & if I write anything, he'll take that as a "sign" that I still love him & want to be friends... I DON"T. He put my(our) kids in danger. He put me in danger. He lied so much over the course of time we were together. I won't open that door. My heart still hurts. Part of me still cares because he has his good points, but...he's poison. He isn't who i thought/hoped he was.

**shaunna** · #13 05-27-2012, 07:51 AM

I agree with the others in sending photos of his son but keep it at that - don't let him suck you back in again as you deserve way better than that

thechefswife · #14 06-11-2012, 09:17 PM

Yeah girl EVERYONE is right. Just send a picture and say nothing else and don't accept contact from him. I am sort of in the same boat. I stood by my husband for 4 1/2 years while he was in jail. He got out and everything was "supposed" to be different. And it was for about two months. Then he started sliding back into the same old thing. Well fast forward 4yrs and he is back in jail. Only has 2mos left on 16mo bid. This time I am done!! I am financially strapped from trying to help him and be the good wife. The had multiple "emotional" affairs. A couple I am sure were physical. We were on the outs when he got popped again. Now I tell him I am done and want a divorce and he is trying to make me feel bad for my decision. Once he gets out he has 6mos 1/2 house and 6mos house arrest. Of course he wants to use my home for his release plan and I am not going along with that. I want a divorce but need him to get out first before I can execute my plan. It's going to be hard but I am more mentally prepared for the fight then ever before. I no longer going to allow myself to be mind f&@ked and fall for the okey doke.

AllieKat12 · #15 06-12-2012, 05:04 AM

I was going to leave you some words of encouragement and support but you have so much already! LOL You are a strong woman, you will do what you need to for yourself and your children. I don't think you need luck, Girl....you're already on your way to having the life you want. Take care!

pisces317 · #16 06-12-2012, 02:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChrisWifey

Okay so I haven't been on here in a while. My life has been extremly busy with getting back to school again and working and taking care of my 3 kids. But it is time that I need to call for help from all of you beautiful people. This might take a minute....sorry...

So a few months ago I got a letter from Chris saying that he didn't want to be with me anymore and that he was getting back with his crazy ex. He hasn't written or called in many months, not even to check in on his son. All of a sudden a couple days ago I get a letter in the mail from another inmate saying that he thinks I should write and send pictures of our son becasue he is always talking about us and misses us. That he is having a hard time and that he thinks that he wont write because of his pride and becasue he knows he messed up real bad. Then I get a phone call today from "a friend of a friend of Chirs" who tells me all of the above and wants to know if I want to send him a message. I'm like NO...except that I have nothing to say to him that I'm tired of the going back and forth becasue he thinks that everyone else knows whats good for him but his own self.

Am I wrong for feelings this way?

Then I check my mail and hour later and I have a letter from non-other than Chris himself. With the I'm sorry I f'd up and I love you and miss you and I want to know about my son. Send me pictures and write me back. All that "awesome" stuff. He says he needs to tell me some stuff and that he has some questions for me and that I should already know what they are. Really?? He has questions for me??! What gives him the right after all the times hes done this to me to have questions for me that he can't write until I respond?

Am I really bing a Bih?? Or am I right for feeling like I shouldn't deal with this crap anymore?

Someone please help me out here and tell me if I'm just being a crazy person! Be honest...my feelings wont be hurt. I know I can get honesty here.

Thanks all!!

YOU ARE RIGHT RIGHT AND RIGHT this guy left you and his son months back and instead of apologizing he sends his friends in prison to test the waters and see if he still has a chance (coward)and if you give him another chance be firm and let him know that when your in a relationship there's no taking breaks and coming back like nothing,i wish you luck cause no matter what you guys have a son together and thats a bond that for the sake of the child should be given a chance