What does your MWI ask of you?

[mrs.beautifly1]

my man doesnt ask me for anything . cus he knows my situation, theyr are times that i do send him money or bought him and xbox360 n put money on the phone. i do send him paper and stamped envelopes but only bcus i want to ..

[Rae87]

My boyfriend expects the best of me as I expect of him.
He's incredibly appreciative of anything I send. Since what he can receive is limited, I send him books quite often. He does ask me to look things up online for him sometimes, but that's it really.

[chrisnlove]

My man asks for money he left his savings with me to pay bills and take care of him. I put 100 a month on his books and 50 a week on our phone he calls 3 times a day 1 for our teenage daughter 1 for our 8 year old son and one for me. I go to see him every weekend 3 hour trip i stay with girlfriend but blessed i am able. Last bid his x blew his $ and left him alone so he trusted me to take care of him and i will.

[Psychocandy]

He doesnt ask for anything except my honesty and loyalty. I send him books,sexy pictures and letters he never asked for any of them but I do it anyway.
He spoils me sends me gifts through his friends on the outside,money and any little thing I mention I like in passing.

[slick's]

To the OP, I don't think any person around here whose MWI asks them for material things will come in and say so for fear of being judged or told "be careful, he might be using you blablabla" so all you'll get are lovey dovey answers of the kind "he asks for nothing but my love".... Doesn't mean there aren't lots of others who DO get asked for things but they just won't post it.
Just my 2 cents...

[agomez84]

Originally Posted by slick's

To the OP, I don't think any person around here whose MWI asks them for material things will come in and say so for fear of being judged or told "be careful, he might be using you blablabla" so all you'll get are lovey dovey answers of the kind "he asks for nothing but my love".... Doesn't mean there aren't lots of others who DO get asked for things but they just won't post it.
Just my 2 cents...

I'm not a mwi but I sure can say my hubby does ask me for stuff n f I can I will send it n f not I won't...or he will have me ask his fam...its not dat he doesn't love me n hes using me...its just ppl need stuff f I was n his shoes I knw I would wanna b as comfortable n der as I could )

[slick's]

Originally Posted by agomez84

I'm not a mwi but I sure can say my hubby does ask me for stuff n f I can I will send it n f not I won't...or he will have me ask his fam...its not dat he doesn't love me n hes using me...its just ppl need stuff f I was n his shoes I knw I would wanna b as comfortable n der as I could )

Of course! I agree but MWI's usually won't admit being asked for things (especially money) because there's always the random "you are being used" opinion popping up!!

[CharliesGirl359]

my boyfriend sends ME money for my bills and for the phone and to put away for us. He asks for sexy pics and my time. Both of which i give

[yubnag]

Yes, he asks me for $50 for commissary once a month. He also asks for college textbooks every semester. And I visit once a month, in which I spend about $100 on the visit.

[OnTheMissions]

When I first responded, I did say that I give my MWI different types of support, including money. I agree with the posters who've said that many of us in an MWI relationship probably would not come out and say that they support their MWI's, especially financially. I also agree that an MWI's not asking for money, etc. is not automatically or necessarily a sign of the authenticity of his feelings.

I'm truly happy for the ladies here who feel relieved and content because their loved ones don't ask for any materials. As many of us here would agree, I believe that every relationship is different. On top of that, the needs, wants, and expectations can/may be different, depending on where the two people are in the relationship.

Initially, I didn't know how to send my MWI money because he refused to tell me. He finally did after he felt comfortable that I would not have any doubts about his intentions or the authenticity of his feelings that he had for me. I'm a licensed professional with a career. I'm done with my formal education and training (except for attending or presenting at a conference). Fortunately, I don't need more than one job or work long hours to make ends meet. I have no family members to support. I'm not trying to give my MWI more than what I'm capable of giving.

My MWI is appreciative of the fact that I'm in tune with him when I sense that he's running short of funds - not the amount of money. I visit him almost every month and write to him everyday on the email and through the postal system, especially when I sense that he needs reassurances. I talk about my work and current events to stimulate him intellectually. I share my art works with him and send him handmade cards to inspire him artistically. I'm grateful to be in the position to support my MWI emotionally, intellectually, artistically, and of course, financially.

Heck, I volunteer to tutor underprivileged children in my free time on weekends. I provide them with academic, moral, behavioral, emotional and again financial support (school supplies, field trips, small meals, etc.). I don't mind being utilized. I'm grateful to be in the position to give them what they need.

What am I saying here? I believe that there are different types of support in any relationships. I cannot speak to anyone else's relationship. In regard to my MWI relationship, I like my MWI's idea of reciprocation and he likes my style of partnership. We are two unique and individualistic people and fit perfectly. He stimulates me intellectually, supports me emotionally and morally, inspires me artistically, and entertains me with his killer sense of humor. He trusts me and sends me his money so I can help him take care of his personal business. Sure, he sends me gifts too, but that's not what defines our relationship or what I need to justify the authenticity of his feelings for me or defend the validity of our relationship. We are way past that phase...

[Juni's Jeva]

Originally Posted by OnTheMissions

When I first responded, I did say that I give my MWI different types of support, including money. I agree with the posters who've said that many of us in an MWI relationship probably would not come out and say that they support their MWI's, especially financially. I also agree that an MWI's not asking for money, etc. is not automatically or necessarily a sign of the authenticity of his feelings.

I'm truly happy for the ladies here who feel relieved and content because their loved ones don't ask for any materials. As many of us here would agree, I believe that every relationship is different. On top of that, the needs, wants, and expectations can/may be different, depending on where the two people are in the relationship.

Initially, I didn't know how to send my MWI money because he refused to tell me. He finally did after he felt comfortable that I would not have any doubts about his intentions or the authenticity of his feelings that he had for me. I'm a licensed professional with a career. I'm done with my formal education and training (except for attending or presenting at a conference). Fortunately, I don't need more than one job or work long hours to make ends meet. I have no family members to support. I'm not trying to give my MWI more than what I'm capable of giving.

My MWI is appreciative of the fact that I'm in tune with him when I sense that he's running short of funds - not the amount of money. I visit him almost every month and write to him everyday on the email and through the postal system, especially when I sense that he needs reassurances. I talk about my work and current events to stimulate him intellectually. I share my art works with him and send him handmade cards to inspire him artistically. I'm grateful to be in the position to support my MWI emotionally, intellectually, artistically, and of course, financially.

Heck, I volunteer to tutor underprivileged children in my free time on weekends. I provide them with academic, moral, behavioral, emotional and again financial support (school supplies, field trips, small meals, etc.). I don't mind being utilized. I'm grateful to be in the position to give them what they need.

What am I saying here? I believe that there are different types of support in any relationships. I cannot speak to anyone else's relationship. In regard to my MWI relationship, I like my MWI's idea of reciprocation and he likes my style of partnership. We are two unique and individualistic people and fit perfectly. He stimulates me intellectually, supports me emotionally and morally, inspires me artistically, and entertains me with his killer sense of humor. He trusts me and sends me his money so I can help him take care of his personal business. Sure, he sends me gifts too, but that's not what defines our relationship or what I need to justify the authenticity of his feelings for me or defend the validity of our relationship. We are way past that phase...

Very well written. I completely agree. My Love doesn't ask for anything or even hint at anything. In fact, he sends me money and gifts. We are living off our Honesty, support, love...intellectual letters...fun letters....etc., He doesn't have anyone sending him money either. He does not feel comfortable with his family doing it. It's part of his way of accepting his bid and the consequences that go with it. He works on the inside for the essentials that he needs.

[OnTheMissions]

Originally Posted by Juni's Jeva

Very well written. I completely agree. My Love doesn't ask for anything or even hint at anything. In fact, he sends me money and gifts. We are living off our Honesty, support, love...intellectual letters...fun letters....etc., He doesn't have anyone sending him money either. He does not feel comfortable with his family doing it. It's part of his way of accepting his bid and the consequences that go with it. He works on the inside for the essentials that he needs.

Thank you for responding to my post. Sounds to me like your significant other is a man of integrity! This definitely speaks to who he is at the core, I think... I can totally relate to the fundamental qualities of a happy, successful, and healthy relationship - honesty, support, love, intellectual reciprocation, exchange of smiles, etc.

[Honeypopbee]

The only things my MWI asks is honesty, letters and the occasional pictures... i got him packages but he still refuses to tell me what he likes or that he needs anything. He doesn't want me spending any money, Its annoying but it lets me know he really just wants ME *dreamy eyes*

[Atomic Songbird]

I'll admit that I was cautiously optimistic about things at first when I met J, but no more or less than I'd be with anyone else I first meet in life. Maybe I'm lucky in that I haven't had too many times in my life where I've been taken advantage of or lied to, so I'm able to be a bit naive or hopeful where people are concerned. As a result, even when we were in the 'just friends' stage of our relationship, I wouldn't have been offended if he'd ever asked me for anything so long as it was reasonable. And I wouldn't mind admitting to it either; there's a stubborn streak in my personality that tends to not care what others think so long as I'm happy. Haha!

But he didn't ever ask, so it was never something I had to address.

Once in a while I'd wonder if I should offer to send him money (mostly when a week would go by without a letter because he ran out of money for envelopes or stamps), but I never did. I didn't want to imply somehow he couldn't take care of himself. And then as more time went by and things evolved I figured our relationship had progressed to the point where we could talk openly with one another, so if he needed something he need only ask for it.

It was literally only in the last month that he finally asked - in a rather roundabout way, I might add (stubborn guy!) - if I'd be okay giving him a little extra money in a month for more phone time. He just couldn't quite afford to pay for the minutes necessary to talk to me as often as he/I wanted. And there was no hesitation in my voice when I agreed; our relationship is a partnership. What helps him helps me, and vice versa. I've said it before in other posts: I trust that were things reversed and I needed him for anything, he'd be there for me in a heartbeat. And in fact, when I have needed him he's been there for me in any way possible, despite his present circumstances. (I know for a fact, as an example, he used extra money allotted for something else to call me when my grandfather was dying because he knew I needed him.)

For me it's not about monetary value, or even about grandiosity and biiiiiiig gestures. It's about making sure we both feel supported and loved equally in whatever way(s) we need. If he asked me for anything else, I'd gladly give it at this point. I trust him implicitly. I know he's not taking advantage of me.

And on that note, we just got the news on Monday that he made Parole and is coming home! To that end, one of the first things he said on the phone was: "I want to get you something, Megan...what do you want most?" Which of course had an easy answer from me: all I want is for him to be home, safe and sound, and I told him so. So I was reminding him of these same sentiments of mine. I don't need to feel like I've been "repayed" in any way; this was all my choice. I'm a big girl and I've made my own choices. There's nothing to repay.

I'm only sorry that some people have been taken advantage of and as a result have good reason to be suspicious if someone in their life asks for something. But the way I see it, anyone can ask for something and take advantage of you, whether they're in prison or not. It's always a risk when choosing to 'give' in any way.

Great thread!

[Mzkelley09]

he likes pictures and letters and he likes sexy ones which I dont send him but other then that he just wants letters and phone calls

[LBee]

My buddy (not romantic-- I already have a husband!) is a lifer who comes from an impoverished family that can provide little to nothing for him. My family is happy to respond to his occasional requests for packages, books, newspapers (while he's in ASU), and photos of all our family vacations. He has never in the 6 years I've known him asked for money until last month, and that was only because he's getting transferred and if he doesn't mail stuff home, it will be thrown away. He's mailing it to my family because we are really more family than his own in the sense of being able to provide for him. Maybe it sounds like a lot, but in the course of a year's time, we'll send maybe one or two book packages and one quarterly package. That's not much to ask, I don't think, for someone who's perpetually slammed and has a VERY active mind.

[KirstenTaylorC]

My MWI hasn't asked for anything except for me to continue writing and he has asked for a full picture of me.
It's cute, he always writes 'ps. please keep writing because I really like talking to you.'
The 2nd to last letter I received was asking if he could get my phone number to call and he specifically mentioned that he would pay for the calls & it wouldn't cost me anything. I know the calls will be limited though because he has his Mother, Sister and Daughter to call so I'll be thrilled when I get the first one!
If he were to ask for things from the internet, books, magazines, sexy letters/photos, or money, I would make the effort to send what I could. I'm pretty decent at pointing out the people in my life who use me, I was cautious when I began writing him because I didn't know who he was or what kind of person he was. He's a great guy though and I'll do what I can and feel comfortable with if he were to ask.
That's like any friendship/relationship in my life.

[pookiepoo]

Just my love and trust

[LadyBlaise]

He doesn't really ask for anything....but he is lucky his family is there for him.

[Mz*DlOc]

Just to LOVE him and not to ever hurt him <3

[faraboverubies]

Materially, nothing. Monetarily, nothing.

He does ask that I give him the best of myself and that he and I stay rooted in faith.

[AriesIAM]

Originally Posted by TattsNcurves

Simple pole, what does your MWI ask from you? Does he ask for it, or do you volunteer to do it?

For the 2 years we've been together I can count on one hand how many times he's asked for anything . He says he'd never take from my children so he doesn't ask . But he does want pictures and more pictures everyway or position possible . Lol I volunteer if he brings something up just to let him know I'm here for him ! hes not a Gold digger he can make his own moneybags! I love his life ❤

[Kay_2012]

He asks nothing of me. The one time I put money on his books he sent me a letter saying thanks but he wanted me to know that I didn't have to put money on his books. It was almost as if he was slightly annoyed that I put money on his books because he doesn't want me to think he's using me for anything.

[mypumpkin]

Mine ask nothing of me i offer and get him packages. He is very sweet and understanding of my financial situation. I do visits and food when i see him.