A Letter to My Husband - Anniversary

[Eileen_Meeks]

Have I ever told you how much I miss you? For so many reasons!! Right now I should be working on a new video, a new post, stuff you've sent me, blah blah blah. And I think about how you keep me focused and energized. How we used to do so much together. I find myself staring at walls often. My mind races but not with purpose, more like random thoughts connected by a single word. You know when you start with one thought and in 30 seconds it's at another and you wonder how the hell you got there but knowing there was a process somewhere. I do that a lot.

The house is silent more often than not. Usually the only sounds are my fingers clicking on my keyboard, the fan under my computer, the air conditioner, passing cars outside, and Sid sighing when she rolls to her back. Oh, and don't forget those moments when I talk to myself. Once in a while I'll play music and the only thing I listen to lately is pot smoking music. I guess because it soothes the soul and reminds me of you. I've found a few new good groups and so my collection of reggae is expanding. The Green, Rebelution, The Expendables, Pepper, Slightly Stoopid. Don't forget Marley... Marley? Who the fuck is Marley? )

Tomorrow is Father's Day, 2 years ago you came to me after being gone for so long. You were a mess. I'm sure my parents were thinking "WTF?". I know a couple of times I thought WTF?. The first night going to see Kyle play and you asking me in the parking lot if you could kiss me. The next day sitting by the pool, a most gorgeous summer afternoon, and just talking. Talking about our past, the years we were apart, and our futures.

It only took me one day to realize that I wanted to take a chance on you. I've never regretted it and I've never been happier. Even with you gone, I'm happy that you're my husband. I'm sad because I miss you. My heart and my days are empty without you physically here, but I know that you'll be home soon and we can start our lives together, and that makes me smile. We had a year and a half to build a solid foundation before you left, but baby... we built a castle in that time! A castle that will stand the test of time, no cannon balls, bombs, or even sneaky theives could destroy what we have. In 6 months, when you come home, we'll fill our castle with all the riches of a king and queen.

Thank you for loving me enough to find me again and trusting me enough to be where you are knowing I'll never hurt you and I'll be at those gates to pick you up.

I love you, Happy Anniversary....