Falling apart today

[zandra260]

So I guess it's just one of those days...
My boyfriend has been gone for 60 days so far, and although I've had my bad days where I've cried and cried, I've been pretty strong overall. He's in county right now, but he's in Florida and I'm in New York so I can't visit... even if I did it would be on a video screen. We haven't seen each other in 60 days and I'm going crazy. I don't know when I'll see him again, because he's waiting to be transferred to a federal prison. We talk twice a day for 15 minutes each and write every day as well, but I feel so hopeless today. I'm 7 and a half months pregnant and that isn't helping either. I want to see his face! I want him home!! I miss him SO much. I need him here.

He's going to be gone for two years (unless he gets into the rehab program but that's a long shot and we're not holding onto hope for that). How the hell am I going to do two years like this? What if I don't get to see him for months and months? How can you maintain a relationship without physical contact or at least seeing the other person's face? How am I going to give birth alone, and raise this little boy alone? I can't do this!

Two years is such a long time. Listen, I know there are ladies dealing with 5 years, 10 years, 20 years... but to me, right now, two years is absolutely forever. It's unimaginable. Two years of this... of not seeing his face, not touching him, not having him when I need him. I can't imagine making it through this...