Falling apart today

[zandra260]

So I guess it's just one of those days...
My boyfriend has been gone for 60 days so far, and although I've had my bad days where I've cried and cried, I've been pretty strong overall. He's in county right now, but he's in Florida and I'm in New York so I can't visit... even if I did it would be on a video screen. We haven't seen each other in 60 days and I'm going crazy. I don't know when I'll see him again, because he's waiting to be transferred to a federal prison. We talk twice a day for 15 minutes each and write every day as well, but I feel so hopeless today. I'm 7 and a half months pregnant and that isn't helping either. I want to see his face! I want him home!! I miss him SO much. I need him here.

He's going to be gone for two years (unless he gets into the rehab program but that's a long shot and we're not holding onto hope for that). How the hell am I going to do two years like this? What if I don't get to see him for months and months? How can you maintain a relationship without physical contact or at least seeing the other person's face? How am I going to give birth alone, and raise this little boy alone? I can't do this!

Two years is such a long time. Listen, I know there are ladies dealing with 5 years, 10 years, 20 years... but to me, right now, two years is absolutely forever. It's unimaginable. Two years of this... of not seeing his face, not touching him, not having him when I need him. I can't imagine making it through this...

[jadejonez]

I have about the same amount of time but luckily he is in state. IDK what I am doing either, you just take it day to day. take the calls when you can, write as much as you can and hang in there!!!!!

[jadejonez]

YOU CAN DO THIS don't give up hope!

[pjnjclyn]

You are doing this every moment is another moment that you are getting through and getting closer to him being home. It does seem like it can be overwelming that is why you have to think of it with shorter goals. Do not look at the whole time at once. I have not been able to touch my husband since Jan and that is a hard feeling I know. When you have the sweet little baby in your arms you will have a piece of him with you. You have that now with his child growing inside of you so you are always together.
We all have bad days. Then we will have a good one,

Hugs!

[ebfisherculp60]

Regardless of how much time a person is facing, it seems like forever. I'm sure we all have asked ourselves if this is something we can withstand plenty of times, but it's a day by day process. I promise you there will be many many many good days and 10x bad days. There will be days that you want to walk away and you question your stability, but you have to have faith and trust that you will overcome those obstacles. You're seven months pregnant and you don't need to stress...yes, it's impossible to walk away from, but you have to think about your son. I hate to see anyone feel like this, especially someone expecting a child. Stay strong sweetness!! Pray hard and sincerely! Everything is going to workout

My love is facing 60 years in prison....it feels like an eternity, but I pray that things work in our favor

[shaunna]

I'm sorry to hear that you are having a rough time, hope things get easier for you *big hugs*

[megm7384]

You are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand the good and bad days, just remember each day you make it through is a day closer to him coming home. You have alot of support here and you'll make it.

[BFAV4EVER]

I think pregnancy hormones make this ride even more difficult than it already is! I've had the unique (well unique to me) experience of doing this not pregnant and now pregnant. It wasn't easy the first time around and this time it feels 100x worse! I have days I cry and cry and cry and just NEED him here to comfort me and then I'll go a few days or even a week and be as strong as iron. I know it seems like forever away, but each day you make it through you are a step closer to this all being history for you. I can only imagine how hard it is NOT to see him and touch him, but as one other poster said, your little boy is a piece of him you'll get to hold soon enough. I pray for you and your new little arrival, mine is due in December. You will make it, it won't be easier, but some days might be a little more tolerable than others. We are ALL here for you ... Feel free to PM me anytime, I'm a good listener! Big hugs to you and prayers of strength are headed your way!

[zandra260]

Originally Posted by BFAV4EVER

I think pregnancy hormones make this ride even more difficult than it already is! I've had the unique (well unique to me) experience of doing this not pregnant and now pregnant. It wasn't easy the first time around and this time it feels 100x worse! I have days I cry and cry and cry and just NEED him here to comfort me and then I'll go a few days or even a week and be as strong as iron. I know it seems like forever away, but each day you make it through you are a step closer to this all being history for you. I can only imagine how hard it is NOT to see him and touch him, but as one other poster said, your little boy is a piece of him you'll get to hold soon enough. I pray for you and your new little arrival, mine is due in December. You will make it, it won't be easier, but some days might be a little more tolerable than others. We are ALL here for you ... Feel free to PM me anytime, I'm a good listener! Big hugs to you and prayers of strength are headed your way!

Thanks for your kind reply. That's how it is - I have weeks in a row where I feel SO strong, like I can do this easily. And then all of a sudden I start to cry and can't stop for hours. I live alone (until the baby comes) and that's the worst part - when I look around and realize how DEAD the house is without him. It's times like those that I feel hopeless, useless, and like life is pointless. I never realized how tough this would be. And no one else (aside from you ladies) understands. I hear all the time "you have to pull yourself out of this depression." Yeah, well, it's not as easy as just snapping my fingers, you know? It's SO hard, and some days I just can't see the end in sight.

[Tookie1132]

The two quotes that I repeat to myself every day without fail are "take it one day at a time" and "they lived happily ever after". Tell yourself these every day. When you are having a bad day, repeat them as often as necessary. They will help you get through this. You will see him again, and you will live happily ever after. Focus on handling things in the now rather than worrying about next week or two years from now. Concentrate on growing your little prince right now. He needs his mama to be strong and healthy.

[Ms Catt]

Keep your head up babe it gets better trust me, All we have is time riding against us I'm missing my boo too something crazy today ;( it hurts so much but I have to stay strong for him too