Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

dclady4evr14 · #1 06-18-2012, 06:34 PM

Knowing how negative mostly everyone thinks about prison relationships how do you tell family and friends that your engaged to your man? Do you feel a bit awkward because he's not there to have a engagement part well until he comes just wanted to know your thoughts on this because you have to admit prison relationships are not like regular relationships...??? This is for those that have to wait until he's home and can't get married on jail...did you have to pay for your own ring???

juss me6 · #2 06-18-2012, 06:38 PM

I did and they all tell me its not official until there is a ring on my finger....I felt weird getting my own engagement ring and idk if its normal if people do so I figured I would wait.

dclady4evr14 · #3 06-18-2012, 07:35 PM

Thanks 4 ur response... I'm just feeling like our relationship hasn't really been normal it's totally different I want to purchase my ring and he wants me too & he will purchase my band and his when he gets home like I'm ok wit it but yet I do feel a little weird lol I haven't cared what others thought so far so I guess I should continue to do me....people gonna talk regardless!

juss me6 · #4 06-18-2012, 07:37 PM

I was thinking about getting my own and then I'm like does that look crazy lmao.

ilovecoffee · #5 06-18-2012, 07:51 PM

Well I am engaged and I haven't shared with very many. I don't want to hear the crap talk. I told him before he asked me that I didn't need a ring. I also told him that I don't want to pick my ring out myself. I like to think I am traditional in some ways so I would rather have him pick it out. But that won't be for awhile. I was also thinking if I took pics of the ones I like and he can pick which one. But idk. We haven't even discussed a date or anything yet. We have only been engaged for about a week or so lol. Lots of time.

staystrong1107 · #6 06-18-2012, 08:06 PM

Don't ever worry what others will think. You love him he loves you! thats all that matters! Do what you guys feel is right and never mind others!

juss me6 · #7 06-18-2012, 08:07 PM

Me too coffee he asked june 8th

lovethemso · #8 06-18-2012, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by staystrong1107

Don't ever worry what others will think. You love him he loves you! thats all that matters! Do what you guys feel is right and never mind others!

True that...

AnarchyHeart · #9 06-18-2012, 11:01 PM

I really wasn't sure about telling anyone. I was gonna wait til we were married so I didn't have to hear anyone talking me out of it. I know. Sorta chicken shit. But then he told his mom and I told mine. Of course we are both in our 40s but hey it's mom. So now he wants me to have his grandmas ring. I loved her very much. And my mom is giving me one of her family rings. It does feel pretty good to have this support that I didn't expect. Sometimes people may just surprise you. Some people anyways.

sweetcheeks66 · #10 06-18-2012, 11:35 PM

I know what you mean, I always seem to sugar coat the truth but everyone knows where he's at when he's not around and my family gets a little frustrated about the situation especially on the holidays when I'm looking sad and alone but for the most part eventually my people learn to accept my life as it is right now I can't expect them to understand. However, I love my man and I don't blame him for anything and I'm proud of him and I do believe in him, wanting to make lifestyle changes when he gets out.

DJzGirl · #11 06-19-2012, 12:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AnarchyHeart

I really wasn't sure about telling anyone. I was gonna wait til we were married so I didn't have to hear anyone talking me out of it. I know. Sorta chicken shit. But then he told his mom and I told mine. Of course we are both in our 40s but hey it's mom. So now he wants me to have his grandmas ring. I loved her very much. And my mom is giving me one of her family rings. It does feel pretty good to have this support that I didn't expect. Sometimes people may just surprise you. Some people anyways.

I love this! I am so happy that you have that support. And yes, no matter how old we are, IT IS MOM! lol. No one in my family knows I am back with my guy. We were together as teens then split up. Went our own ways. I got married. 15 years. Had 5 kids. Marriage crumbled and my DJ found me just in time. Turns out he has been loving me all this time. And I have loved him as well. Yes, even while married to someone else (who I didnt really love, sad to say). My Dad just passed away a few weeks ago. I was worried about telling him. Now that is a non-issue. But my mom? She will flip out. I am not even divorced yet. just separated. She keeps saying why rush the divorce? You are already living apart, just give it time. She doesn't want me back with the husband, but I also seriously doubt she will support me being with my guy. SO how will I tell her or anyone? He is my soulmate. I love him. He love me. I know we will have a lot to deal with, but what can I say? I think I will begin by telling her that he and I have chatted a few times. I'll take it slow.

DJzGirl · #12 06-19-2012, 12:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dclady4evr14

Knowing how negative mostly everyone thinks about prison relationships how do you tell family and friends that your engaged to your man? Do you feel a bit awkward because he's not there to have a engagement part well until he comes just wanted to know your thoughts on this because you have to admit prison relationships are not like regular relationships...??? This is for those that have to wait until he's home and can't get married on jail...did you have to pay for your own ring???

Very good question! I don't want to hear what ppl will say. I am a little embarrassed. I can't believe this is my life. I never expected to love a felon who has been in jail for over 14 years in the past 20 years and just went back in for another year. If you knew me and my life, you would know what I mean. I guess others might feel the same. What little girl dreams of her wedding with her man wearing stripes? lol. I don't know how I will tell ppl. And I would rather not say anything, really.

AnarchyHeart · #13 06-19-2012, 08:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJzGirl

I love this! I am so happy that you have that support. And yes, no matter how old we are, IT IS MOM! lol. No one in my family knows I am back with my guy. We were together as teens then split up. Went our own ways. I got married. 15 years. Had 5 kids. Marriage crumbled and my DJ found me just in time. Turns out he has been loving me all this time. And I have loved him as well. Yes, even while married to someone else (who I didnt really love, sad to say). My Dad just passed away a few weeks ago. I was worried about telling him. Now that is a non-issue. But my mom? She will flip out. I am not even divorced yet. just separated. She keeps saying why rush the divorce? You are already living apart, just give it time. She doesn't want me back with the husband, but I also seriously doubt she will support me being with my guy. SO how will I tell her or anyone? He is my soulmate. I love him. He love me. I know we will have a lot to deal with, but what can I say? I think I will begin by telling her that he and I have chatted a few times. I'll take it slow.

It is hard. I took it pretty slow in the beginning also. It sounds like you are ready to do what is good for you and people who love you will see that you are happy and will want that for you.

Mrs.taylor2011 · #14 06-19-2012, 03:18 PM

im engaged too ,i told my mother thats about it..i'll tell others once we go through the whole marriage process (in jail)..right now im just holding it in

juss me6 · #15 06-19-2012, 03:20 PM

So how many of you got your own engagement rings or did you wait until he got out to get u one

4_U_2_Envie · #16 06-19-2012, 03:27 PM

I only tell those who i want to know cuz honestly I care less of what people think of my relationship and who its with and why. I tell out right I got no hair on my tongue and whoever can't accept my decision they know what it and what to do keep it moving.!! it feels awkward to buy your own ring bit when my man comes home we are gonna have a church wedding. I am getting married in November to my love..

mrsesquibel · #17 06-19-2012, 03:40 PM

Hello ladies - for my situation - it was all about it just being ok with my son whose 16 and he said "mom as long as you're happy thats all that matters to me" as for everyone else - the ones I have shared with have surprisingly been more supportive than we thought and as for the ones who are NOT in on this.. we could really careless... just hang in there and follow your heart... some just want us to have what THEY think we should have but when it comes down to it - its HAPPINESS that we want and if it means being married to a man whose incarcerated - so be it - thats YOUR happiness not theres..

**shaunna** · #18 06-19-2012, 05:30 PM

Different things work for different people -do what feels right for the two of you as at the end of the day as long as you two are happy with the decision that's what counts.

Mrs.taylor2011 · #19 06-19-2012, 05:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juss me6

So how many of you got your own engagement rings or did you wait until he got out to get u one

getting my own & his.he might not be able to get it once hes out if he doesnt have a job

juss me6 · #20 06-19-2012, 05:55 PM

I was thinking about getting my own atleast until he comes home and can get one. Ppl tell me that's crazy but oh well. I don't wanna get married until he comes home that way we can pick out our rings together.

dclady4evr14 · #21 06-20-2012, 12:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by juss me6

I was thinking about getting my own atleast until he comes home and can get one. Ppl tell me that's crazy but oh well. I don't wanna get married until he comes home that way we can pick out our rings together.

That's my idea is to get a engagement ring now and handle everything else when he gets home......

DJzGirl · #22 07-14-2012, 05:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mrsesquibel

Hello ladies - for my situation - it was all about it just being ok with my son whose 16 and he said "mom as long as you're happy thats all that matters to me" .

How did you tell your son? I have kids from my marriage. I am not sure how I would tell them. I worry more about telling my mom.

pastry520 · #23 07-15-2012, 01:01 AM

I just got married on the 3rd! I first told my bestie and her mom cuz they are my family. They said congrats and the mom asked why the rush but they both support and love me the same. Then the day before the ceremony I took time to tell the people that are closest to me because I couldn't keep it in anymore, I felt sneaky and gulty for not sharing this imprtant step in my life. They were all seemingly supportive and all reinterated that this is my life and my choice and who are they to say? It was a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. The only person I haven't told is my brother who I think is gonna give me crap but I will tell him in time. It is a little akward to tell people cuz they don't understand but as long as you do then thats all that matters! Good luck and God bless!

ilovecoffee · #24 07-19-2012, 06:15 PM

I still havent told my family nor my friends. Pretty sad. We cant really afford a ring at this time but I am thinking I am going to pick one out and put money on it each month. only way I am going to get one LOL. And yes I will be picking it out myself

Mellymel418 · #25 07-19-2012, 06:24 PM

only my closest friends who know where he is and they understand and don't judge me know we are engaged! I really don't care what my family thinks of it but I come from a cop/military family so I just keep him to myself! My mom knows we are best friends and that we write and talk on the phone but she doesn't know we are getting married! One day I will tell her but not anytime soon, because I don't need the judgmental side coming out because I don't need the headache! My children know and they are very happy for me, and they know he makes me happy so they are happy! My kids are older so telling them was easy for me! I just asked that we kept it among us for the time being! And they have!

Now on the ring, We bought mine(literally I did, but we like to say whats mine is his and whats his is mine) but we both talked over what we both wanted in rings what he liked and disliked and the same for me, then we compromised on what we wanted together, and then I started looking for rings and I would take pictures of the rings that met what we wanted and I send him the pictures and then we would narrow down from the pictures! This way it made him feel apart of it and we found our ring and I got it Monday and he got to see it in person last night and he absolutely loves it! He said we did a good job working on this as a couple! lol