Im back, in need of some strength

[laceyyyboo]

Hello ladies!!! it's been a while.
The last time I was on here my boyfriend was suffering from a bad staph infection.
Well he is doing much better, no they didn't send him to a real hospital but they have him on medication until he comes home.
Well the last few months I been dealing with his family bad mouthing me and making up things about me. I don't know why. I've done nothing but respect all of them and open myself up to them, I feel so betrayed. Every week their saying something new. Like "I put myself out there on Facebook" and take pictures of myself on my bed...(umm I have my clothes on) "I'm just like his baby mamma" (I'm sure that wasn't a complement) "I'm sleeping around on him" (I work, come home and talk to my man and I don't have a car or friends where I live) and by the way, their telling my boyfriend all this, never to me or to my face. He sent me his diploma and his mom has being bitching to him and everyone else about it for months now saying " when I leave him, I'm gonna destroy it" one, I have no plans on going anywhere and two, if that did happen I would never do something like that.
It's just none stop shit talking and I don't understand why. I was very close to his family and they just changed up on me. Honestly, it really hurt my feelings
All I do is make my man happy, support him and stand beside him...how is any of that wrong?
It's really overwhelming. I feel like I can't trust anyone now and I can't be myself. If anything, I know I tried. And if that's all I can say I'm okay with that but I just wish it would stop.
I seen my boyfriend for the 1st time in two months on Sunday cuz I don't think his mom wanted to bring me up there cuz the last time we went his brother cried and said I took all my boyfriends attention. And we got in a huge fight. So the whole time I wouldn't really talk cuz I was worried about everyone else getting his attention so I really didn't spend anytime with him and how could I forget his brother and his mom putting me on the spot and trying to embarrass me the whole time.
Then my boyfriend tells me about a C/O hitting on him and trying to have a relationship with him. He said no so she screwed him over and got him moved to the island.
I know I'm just going on and on but I really need to vent and get this out! I'm holding all this inside and idk who to talk to. Maybe one of you ladies can give me some encouragement...
I'm young and just trying to get through each day. This is all new for me but I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job!!!
I put money on the phone, write him, send him pictures and cards, I keep him happy in every way possible, I give him strength, and good advise, I go and see him!!! What else do these people want from me!!!! Ugh!!
Sorry this is so long, and me just boo whoing about my problems but I just really need the help to get through this.
So if any of you ladies actually read this and have and GOOD advise please give me some please! And please dont be so negative I can't take no more. Thank you all!

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by laceyyyboo

Hello ladies!!! it's been a while.
The last time I was on here my boyfriend was suffering from a bad staph infection.
Well he is doing much better, no they didn't send him to a real hospital but they have him on medication until he comes home.
Well the last few months I been dealing with his family bad mouthing me and making up things about me. I don't know why. I've done nothing but respect all of them and open myself up to them, I feel so betrayed. Every week their saying something new. Like "I put myself out there on Facebook" and take pictures of myself on my bed...(umm I have my clothes on) "I'm just like his baby mamma" (I'm sure that wasn't a complement) "I'm sleeping around on him" (I work, come home and talk to my man and I don't have a car or friends where I live) and by the way, their telling my boyfriend all this, never to me or to my face. He sent me his diploma and his mom has being bitching to him and everyone else about it for months now saying " when I leave him, I'm gonna destroy it" one, I have no plans on going anywhere and two, if that did happen I would never do something like that.
It's just none stop shit talking and I don't understand why. I was very close to his family and they just changed up on me. Honestly, it really hurt my feelings
All I do is make my man happy, support him and stand beside him...how is any of that wrong?
It's really overwhelming. I feel like I can't trust anyone now and I can't be myself. If anything, I know I tried. And if that's all I can say I'm okay with that but I just wish it would stop.
I seen my boyfriend for the 1st time in two months on Sunday cuz I don't think his mom wanted to bring me up there cuz the last time we went his brother cried and said I took all my boyfriends attention. And we got in a huge fight. So the whole time I wouldn't really talk cuz I was worried about everyone else getting his attention so I really didn't spend anytime with him and how could I forget his brother and his mom putting me on the spot and trying to embarrass me the whole time.
Then my boyfriend tells me about a C/O hitting on him and trying to have a relationship with him. He said no so she screwed him over and got him moved to the island.
I know I'm just going on and on but I really need to vent and get this out! I'm holding all this inside and idk who to talk to. Maybe one of you ladies can give me some encouragement...
I'm young and just trying to get through each day. This is all new for me but I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job!!!
I put money on the phone, write him, send him pictures and cards, I keep him happy in every way possible, I give him strength, and good advise, I go and see him!!! What else do these people want from me!!!! Ugh!!
Sorry this is so long, and me just boo whoing about my problems but I just really need the help to get through this.
So if any of you ladies actually read this and have and GOOD advise please give me some please! And please dont be so negative I can't take no more. Thank you all!

Hi Lacey.....I am glad to hear that your man is better, but sorry you are dealing with family dogging on you.

Have you tried to sit down with his family and find out what went wrong? Maybe you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with them? I know that is probably the last thing you want to do, but it might be worth a try. You never know what they may be feeling or thinking. You say they are saying mean things to you and about you, but I am pretty sure they have a reason. Maybe someone said something that caused them to doubt you.

Have you and your man talked about how they are treating you? How does he feel about it, what are his thoughts?

How did this woman screw him over? Did he say something that caused them to move him? I would think he would want to be moved if he had a CO trying to have a relationship with him. He did tell you, so that is a good thing.

Hun, it sounds to me like you need to have a heart-to-heart talk with both his family and him. Then, you need to do something nice for yourself...get a massage, manicure, pedicure....anything to make you feel joy. You deserve it!

Be good to yourself and I hope you feel better soon.

Peace~

[laceyyyboo]

Well I thought about talking to them but I don't know how to bring it up without it coming out the wrong way.
Me and my man talked about it, he feels really bad and wishes he could be here cuz he said none of that would be happening if he was home and he told me that it isn't about them, it's about us and if we're happy then nothing or nobody else matters. And that they don't know what kind of relationship we have or what we talk about.
And he told his family to leave me alone.
And yes he's happy he got moved cuz it would of caused problems. He told her he didn't want to have sex with her!!! She got mad. I'm happy he got moved cuz she would try to talk to him when we would be on the phone, I guess so I knew she was there and she would bring him cake! She was just crazy. And I'm glad he told me and didn't keep it a secret. I trust him a lot.
I think I should talk to his family, just don't know how...

[InmateLover67]

Originally Posted by laceyyyboo

Well I thought about talking to them but I don't know how to bring it up without it coming out the wrong way.
Me and my man talked about it, he feels really bad and wishes he could be here cuz he said none of that would be happening if he was home and he told me that it isn't about them, it's about us and if we're happy then nothing or nobody else matters. And that they don't know what kind of relationship we have or what we talk about.
And he told his family to leave me alone.
And yes he's happy he got moved cuz it would of caused problems. He told her he didn't want to have sex with her!!! She got mad. I'm happy he got moved cuz she would try to talk to him when we would be on the phone, I guess so I knew she was there and she would bring him cake! She was just crazy. And I'm glad he told me and didn't keep it a secret. I trust him a lot.
I think I should talk to his family, just don't know how...

Just tell them you would like to talk with them about some bad feelings you are having. Then if they agree, share with them that you feel as though you have either said or done something to make them not like you. Tell them you miss the relationship you used to have with them. If you do that, and they do not accept your wanting to be close again, know that you did your best. You cannot force them to be connected to you, but if you do your part of trying, that is all you can do.

I am glad your man understands and is sorry they are being turds. He is right, it really does not matter what they think, you two know what you have and that IS all that matters.

It still hurts to have them close and then all of a sudden they turn on you...in my opinion, talking to them could be healing for all of you and possibly bring you back to harmony.

I know, people are probably thinking what has gotten into me with all this mushy shit, but I do have a heart..lol

I wish you luck hun, just speak from your heart to them. I bet it will go better that you are anticipating.

Peace~

[laceyyyboo]

I guess I could try to talk to them. It won't hurt.
Thank you so much for the advice.

[auntieshay]

"I know, people are probably thinking what has gotten into me with all this mushy shit, but I do have a heart..lol"

Inmatelover, this made me smile. Of course you have a heart-but like your sig says-no sugarcoating.

Lacey, you have been given some good advise from inmate. If your talk does not help and least YOU know you tried. Then do not worry about them amynore, too much energy being wasted. Concentrate on keeping you man happy and you too. Glad he is better healthwise.

[laceyyyboo]

I know I have to be strong for him. Sometimes I let all this get in the way and I have to remind myself it's not his fault.
I feel bad when I waste a phone call on talking about it with him.
I need to learn how to not let it control my relationship...
Thank you ladies

[kevinmom]

Hi! I wish I had some great advice or some great words to say. The only thing I can say is this I'm so sorry the pain your going through. Yes listen to them! There are some great wise women on this site.

[DavisNiece]

Hello!
Wow girl it sounds like you have a case of the mother inlaw from hell. I can relate! When I first met my hubby his mom was crazy. Did the same things to me like what you are going through and I too was in a place where I had no family and no friends. I was in a different part of the world and my entire life other than him was 6000 miles across the ocean.

He knows you are at home because he calls you and ya answer the phone. Don't waste precious time with him thinking about all of them. I would if you can sit right beside him and so strength as a couple. Don't be silent at the visits that is your time with him too. See if there is someone coming where he is that is local for you. Maybe you can get a ride with them and wouldn't have to rely on his mother.

Now for some good advice (I hope). Keep your chin up. He loves you or he would not be sending all his important things to you to keep. The reason this got to his mom is because she feels she is loosing her son. There is another women taking her place in his life and she don't know how to deal with those emotions other than being in attack mode. You keep being there for him and being as nice as you can to his family. Let your strength come from knowing that he loves you and chose to be with you. His mom and family will come around. I promise. It took 10 years for my mother inlaw but now I am just like a daughter and we love each other lots.

Originally Posted by laceyyyboo

Hello ladies!!! it's been a while.
The last time I was on here my boyfriend was suffering from a bad staph infection.
Well he is doing much better, no they didn't send him to a real hospital but they have him on medication until he comes home.
Well the last few months I been dealing with his family bad mouthing me and making up things about me. I don't know why. I've done nothing but respect all of them and open myself up to them, I feel so betrayed. Every week their saying something new. Like "I put myself out there on Facebook" and take pictures of myself on my bed...(umm I have my clothes on) "I'm just like his baby mamma" (I'm sure that wasn't a complement) "I'm sleeping around on him" (I work, come home and talk to my man and I don't have a car or friends where I live) and by the way, their telling my boyfriend all this, never to me or to my face. He sent me his diploma and his mom has being bitching to him and everyone else about it for months now saying " when I leave him, I'm gonna destroy it" one, I have no plans on going anywhere and two, if that did happen I would never do something like that.
It's just none stop shit talking and I don't understand why. I was very close to his family and they just changed up on me. Honestly, it really hurt my feelings
All I do is make my man happy, support him and stand beside him...how is any of that wrong?
It's really overwhelming. I feel like I can't trust anyone now and I can't be myself. If anything, I know I tried. And if that's all I can say I'm okay with that but I just wish it would stop.
I seen my boyfriend for the 1st time in two months on Sunday cuz I don't think his mom wanted to bring me up there cuz the last time we went his brother cried and said I took all my boyfriends attention. And we got in a huge fight. So the whole time I wouldn't really talk cuz I was worried about everyone else getting his attention so I really didn't spend anytime with him and how could I forget his brother and his mom putting me on the spot and trying to embarrass me the whole time.
Then my boyfriend tells me about a C/O hitting on him and trying to have a relationship with him. He said no so she screwed him over and got him moved to the island.
I know I'm just going on and on but I really need to vent and get this out! I'm holding all this inside and idk who to talk to. Maybe one of you ladies can give me some encouragement...
I'm young and just trying to get through each day. This is all new for me but I think I'm doing a pretty damn good job!!!
I put money on the phone, write him, send him pictures and cards, I keep him happy in every way possible, I give him strength, and good advise, I go and see him!!! What else do these people want from me!!!! Ugh!!
Sorry this is so long, and me just boo whoing about my problems but I just really need the help to get through this.
So if any of you ladies actually read this and have and GOOD advise please give me some please! And please dont be so negative I can't take no more. Thank you all!