Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

missingmylove10 · #1 06-29-2012, 09:52 AM

First I was a CO at a county facility, my now man was a state inmate being housed there, I must stress that NOTHING against the rules was done, there was no relationship while he was housed there, it wasn't until after he transfered back to state that he contacted me. I fell head over heels in love with this man and was going to visit at the very least once a week for 6 months and then I resigned from my job. Word got out that I was involved with him so the county informed the state facility and I was escorted out of the visit. He was given a misconduct but I was informed we were still permitted our calls and letters. Then I changed my number so it would be local and less expensive for him to call, he was given another misconduct for attempting to add me to his call log. Which is insane because I was already on it and he had called me 5 times after the fact, but due to the other misconduct he has been in lock up for around a month now. I haven't heard anything from him since. I had called the prison and they said I am permitted letters still but had to ask permission to receive calls and be allowed to place money onto his account plus to have the superintendent reconsider our visitation. I am lost in this and am basically unsure what I need to do to go about this properly. Like if I need to appeal decisions and things of that nature. It is so hard to cope without hearing from him for the last month and I am just lost as to what I should do.

lil peep · #2 06-29-2012, 12:41 PM

If you're still able to write, I'd be writing up a storm! That's your only way to communicate right now, so you have to take advantage of it! They are not going to want you visiting the facility...you're ex-staff. But that doesn't mean you can't appeal the decisions. I don't know if there are forms you would fill out, if you write the warden a letter or if your man would have to appeal the decisions, but I do think you should appeal. The worst they can do is say no!

nicenjazzy · #3 06-29-2012, 02:09 PM

Oh missing, I hate that for you! I too am an ex officer so I know what your going through and how hard it can be. PA must be VERY strict because here in NC they didn't refuse us phone calls or deny me the right to send money if I chose to nor did they put him in the hole for us being together (I had resigned before we acted on our love)...did they do that before or after you resigned? I would surely call and/or write the super and ask to be allowed to make calls and visit. Like lil peep said all they can do is say no. Don't give up easily if you reallly care for him. It took me over 8 years to be allowed to visit my love. It was very hard but we made it through by the grace of God. I say keep putting the pen to the paper and assure your man that you haven't given up on him. You're gonna have to jump through many hoops and they will try to keep you apart but stay strong and message me if you want/need to.

JustHeather · #4 06-29-2012, 02:56 PM

I am now...as of yesterday in a similar situation. I am former staff at where he is housed. I will never be allowed to visit him as long as he stays there. And so as not to ruin his chances at comming home we stopped all communication until October 1st. They dont know we have been talking and it could have a negative impact on his trial. Its hard already..so I know how you feel. Write him since you are able.. do what you have to do.. fight for it.. if hes worth it..fight for the time. It might be hard..but when isnt it when its something you want and need? I went last night and bought a notebook specifically to write him. I cant mail the letters but I will still write so he doesnt miss anything...id rather have a few months without him than a lifetime..

**Anjewel** · #5 06-29-2012, 03:55 PM

First, let me say each state is different and then sometimes you'd be hard pressed to get the same response at two different facilities even then.
I would recommend you go up in the PA forum and find someone that knows more about PA. And, in the mean time write honey and get his approval. Always always always remeber....he has to live there.
I would also send stamps, envelopes and paper or money so he can write you. I know it seems to be hard for everyone to get their property in 'jail' (the hole)...and he's gonna be a special case what with being known as that kind of prisoner....

missingmylove10 · #6 06-29-2012, 07:11 PM

Well ladies, him and I visited for 7 months after he was transfered back to state, in which time he asked me to marry him, his name is forever tattooed on my body so yes he is worth it, every single second, he is where my heart is and is worth every ounce of fight I have in me. He knows I wont give up on this situation or him at any point, the last letter I got from him right before he was sent to the hole made me aware of just that. He knows how my heart belongs to him and that no one else in the world would ever compare in my eyes. I have been writing him, everyday as a matter of fact, I just have yet to hear back from him since he was sent to the hole. Like I said the superintendent isn't allowing visits, phone calls or me placing money on his books at this point it is only letters. I have written the superintendent and asked for approval for all of the above making sure to be very respectful every step of the way. I am going about thing the proper way now and I just didn't know if there was anything else I was able to do to help the situation?!? I do appreciate all the help and support you have offered!

missingmylove10 · #7 06-29-2012, 07:12 PM

Oh and I resigned before all of our privileges were suspended.

nicenjazzy · #8 06-29-2012, 07:18 PM

Good for you for fighting for your love!! I can't think of anything else for you to do but wait, be patient and pray on it. Praying for you both and for things to work out for you soon. Remember, that which does not kill you only makes you stronger

**Anjewel** · #9 06-29-2012, 08:04 PM

Well...then....he probably won't mind what ever treatment he gets. I mean....it's not like they can kill em or nothing.

I don't think you understood my first post and I wasn't clear enough....please look over my ignorance.

What I should have pointed out is just because it's respectful and the correct way FOR NORMAL situations, doesn't always make it the proper way to go about it in prison.

missingmylove10 · #10 06-29-2012, 08:19 PM

I don't think they are targeting him or treating him unfairly or will after this for that matter he has been there over 6 years and is not an inmate who causes trouble. He is the type all the co's get along with so I am not really worried about that. I have just wrote the super which he wanted me to do, I am waiting to take it further until he gives me the go ahead. Which I know he has done on his end.

tommyg1337 · #11 06-30-2012, 09:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustHeather

I am now...as of yesterday in a similar situation. I am former staff at where he is housed. I will never be allowed to visit him as long as he stays there.

I went to visit my husband last weekend. There was another "inmate" (I don't like that word I guess) there that was sitting in the "out of bounds area" with his wife and I asked my husband why they can do that. He said that he gets all kinds of things others don't because his wife used to work there. I guess she even gets to bring him food.

JustHeather · #12 06-30-2012, 11:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tommyg1337

I went to visit my husband last weekend. There was another "inmate" (I don't like that word I guess) there that was sitting in the "out of bounds area" with his wife and I asked my husband why they can do that. He said that he gets all kinds of things others don't because his wife used to work there. I guess she even gets to bring him food.

What?! Where was this at? Cause thats crazy... they wont even let me apply. And if they find out they will use it against him to say he is a sexual deviant for "manipulating staff" into an "inappropriate relationship"....

missingmylove10 · #13 06-30-2012, 09:12 PM

Its all in who you know! Its sad but true. These people make up their own rules and its pathetic.

Ambs033 · #14 07-18-2012, 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JustHeather

What?! Where was this at? Cause thats crazy... they wont even let me apply. And if they find out they will use it against him to say he is a sexual deviant for "manipulating staff" into an "inappropriate relationship"....

LOL Yes, That's what they did to my husband. Since I am ex-staff and we are together they figured he had "brainwashed" me, as they put it. He was in the hole for a bit after I quit and they hung a sign up outside his cell that said "Do not talk to, or communicate whatsoever with this inmate unless absolutely necessary. He is highly manipulative." It's been almost 5 years and he still can't have a job out and about because of his "manipulative personality" and knack for "establishing relationships". I haven't seen him since 08. They were very clear about nixing all possibilities about that! WOW! I would love to be able to visit and bring him food! LOL I'll have to mention a interstate transfer

Hopefully this will all be over in December! Best of luck to all you ladies<3