The Battle Within

[Eileen_Meeks]

- It's not poetry but its my creative writing

It's funny but I've always thought of myself as a peaceful person. I was always of the mindset; live and let live. Now I can feel this mad woman trying to escape.

She tries to tear the seams in my head. Like a quilt but it's in shades of grey and brown. And the seam is made with thick leather. And this quilt that covers my crazy lady isn't fragile but thick and heavy and the leather is hard but pliable like deer skin covered in resin. I picture it like a bunch of old wallets that have been laying out in the sun for too long. Worn, weather beaten, dusty and dog eared. Chunks taken out here and there, scratches and places where the seam has come undone but has been resown. I see a few places where the seam has come loose. Once in awhile I can hear the pop of a tight thread that has been cut. I can see her claw like fingers start to poke through and then another pop. Her fingers are long and boney with fingernails that haven't been cut in years, sharpend to razors and dirty.

I don't need to peek inside, my minds eye can take me there and I can see her. Most days she sits in a corner. Her long stringy black hair hangs over her skinny body. She rocks back and forth waiting for that moment when she'll be allowed out of her prison. Once in awhile she gets restless and starts to work on those seams that keep her enclosed. But those are the days when the real world is helping her to escape. When an unsuspecting person is careless in their words or actions. Their selfishness and inconsideration is like a steel blade cutting the seams from the outside.

She hears it. The sound that a knife makes as its being quickly pulled out of it's sheath. She knows. She knows that somewhere a seam will open up and she is ready. She's not sitting in the corner rocking anymore. She's bouncing off the walls like a caged leopard. Listening for the air to be split just as a swinging pendulum blade cuts through the breath of it's victim.

There is no pop. No resistance nor hesitation. Just one swipe and an opening as smooth as a fish being filleted. It's not a pretty sight like a flower opening up and turning to face the sun. It looks more like Hell is giving birth to it's first demon. First a skinny, dirt covered arm wriggles through and then a shoulder followed by a mass of oily hair. As she looks up her green eyes find her target. Regrettably, her savior is also her enemy.

I instantly know that I only have a few short seconds before she is free. I've watched the whole thing as if it's a scene from a Stephen King movie. I know that if I let her completely escape a life will end. Either the adversary or myself. They are not an innocent victim. Their self-centered actions have allowed my crazy to start climbing out.

I feel her now. I can't see her because now she see's through my eyes. My body starts to tense. If I give in to her someone will die. She fights to take control of my body. Our thoughts are like oil and water in a bowl. Inter twined yet seperate, always fighting for domination. My poise masks the battle within me. She slashes with her razor fingers and poison spittle sprays as she screams violent obscenities.

Now a flash of light, like a picture projected onto my mind. A smiling face with tender eyes. Now a sound, a phrase in a familiar voice in a tone that beacons me, "I love you. Stay with me." I can hear it clearly above the crazy screams. Slowly my focus shifts. The crazy has backed down but I still feel her wanting to be released. Should the opponent provoke her any further she will not stay contained.

Again, the voice and more pictures. It's like a movie playing random scenes that are connected but not in sequence. It's soothing and my body starts to relax as I feel her retreat. I sigh a breath of relief as my thoughts are clear. My minds eye can see her again as she's slowly crawling into her corner and I see the thick leather weaving in and out of the fabric that keeps her secure... for now.

[m.a.n.'s]

Wow! You're an AWESOME writer! Great job :-)

[Sheryl P.]

Boy,that is scary stuff!
Thanks for sharing.