Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

Fallen_Angel915 · #1 07-04-2012, 07:19 AM

... Anthony got a date. His mother called me last night and told me. She didn't give me the exact date; all she said was that it would be in October. Of this year.

And yes, we were all aware that this would happen, but does knowing make it any easier?

And I know it sounds selfish, but I must be honest and say that I didn't have enough time with him. He's gotten under my skin, and I under his. He's a part of me now. And his mother, oh, his mother...how she must be feeling right now. My heart aches for her, his father and his sister. I will be going to see him in a few weeks, but I'm in the middle of writing him a jPay and I don't know what to say. I know he doesn't want any of us to be sad, and I'm trying not to focus on it, but...it's there. Lingering over us like a vengeful ghost.

I keep picturing him on that gurney...

But do you ladies know what my first thought was? It was how badly I want us to be able to hug or touch in some kind of way. The fact that it's a possiblility that he may die before ever having another chance to feel the warmth of someone else's skin on his, a hug, a kiss...nothing.

Shit.

Willove · #2 07-04-2012, 08:13 AM

I don't hardly know what to say. The nightmare has come true. I'm new here on PTO, so I do not know your story. Did you ever visit him? Would he want, and would you be able to support him with your presence if the day really comes?

I'm so sad for you, for him, and for his family. I wish all of you strength and power, and give you a big hug if you allow me.

**pj663** · #3 07-04-2012, 08:32 AM

My love my heart goes out to you Anthony and his family. I'll be praying for change anything can happen between now and October I've seen it. Enjoy your time with him continue to write him and encourage him. I finally seen his video some time back and he is spiritually in tack and that's a good thing. Always know that you can come here for support.(((((hugs)))))

**lisainengland** · #4 07-04-2012, 10:57 AM

My heart goes out to you, Anthony and his family. I am praying that there is a change or an successful appeal before October.As PJ said it can and does happen.

I lost my penpal to execution Jan 2011 so I know how you must be feeling. I am sending you a hug and feel free to PM me if you need to talk

mammastalkin · #5 07-04-2012, 02:46 PM

Facing a date is always such a trying time for the prisoner and his family. All you can really do is be there for him and we'll be here for you.

I've lost a couple of friends to execution and I've had countless friends lose their husband, boyfriends, brother. It never gets easier. The one thing I would say is that you shouldn't start grieving yet. It is easy enough to do because the situation is so sad and desperate. But you have to make it through the long haul and you'll want to be positive and strong during the coming days. So you have to keep your emotions somewhat in check or you'll get overwhelmed.
Please let me know if I can help you further. October is a long way off and a lot of things can change between now and then.

Klewis · #6 07-04-2012, 03:01 PM

My heart goes out to you and I guess I will just never really understand how does one get the same punishment he is locked up for. Thou shall not kill why does it only go for civilians. Whats so wrong with life without parole? I know people have different opinions about it, so I will stop thinking out loud and just say my heart goes out to you and the family but most of all to Anthony because he is still a child of our creator.

Fallen_Angel915 · #7 07-05-2012, 07:31 AM

I really love and appreciate y'all. Thank you for the support and kind words. I don't know why I'm trippin'...he is still here and like y'all said, a lot can happen in a couple of months...the news just hit me like a punch in the gut. Like I literally felt physical pain...I overreacted by thinking the absolute worst...and I know he'd probably tell me to buck up and stop being a drama queen, haha...I get to go see him in a few weeks so I'm excited about that. My letter to him started flowing a lot better once I stopped looking at the possible negative and started thinking about the positive, so there we go.

As far as being there...if...no. I can't. I couldn't. I don't even think he'd want me to be there...but if he asked me to then of course I would.

threeboysmum · #8 07-05-2012, 10:11 AM

You describe my nightmare scenario. I had this in my head a lot lately and I don't know how I would cope, hopefully I never have to.

I've been thinking about the hugging, too. How cruel not to allow one last hug, it just saddens me to tears, how can they be so cruel? It's absolutely dispicable, isn't killing them off not enough? As for being there, I would have to be there...

I wish you a lot of strength, make the most of now.

nimuay · #9 07-06-2012, 04:21 PM

If you need a shoulder, I'm a PM away . . .

Fallen_Angel915 · #10 07-07-2012, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by threeboysmum

You describe my nightmare scenario. I had this in my head a lot lately and I don't know how I would cope, hopefully I never have to.

I've been thinking about the hugging, too. How cruel not to allow one last hug, it just saddens me to tears, how can they be so cruel? It's absolutely dispicable, isn't killing them off not enough? As for being there, I would have to be there...

I wish you a lot of strength, make the most of now.

"Make the most of now." I like that.

I agree...killing them is bad enough but they cut them off from all human contact up until the very last...I don't understand.

And as far as being there...I mean...I really don't know if I can. I don't want that to be the last I remember of him...

Fallen_Angel915 · #11 07-07-2012, 08:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nimuay

If you need a shoulder, I'm a PM away . . .

Thank you. I'm just so...angry. Really f**king angry.

lulupine · #12 07-08-2012, 04:47 AM

My heart goes out to you, Anthony and all your loved ones... this letter sends shivers down my spine. I wish you all the strength, faith and courage needed for whatever lies ahead...

Big hugs, love

lulu xxx

**pj663** · #13 07-08-2012, 09:47 AM

Ooh my dam goodness I'm am literally in tears. His faith in god is to be commended and I'm glad that he chooses to live because at one time he felt that dieing was better then a life sentence. For some reason I have a feeling that this execution will not take place. You tell Anthony to continue his will to live. Choose life and embrace it. Whatever that he can do to spare his life do it. Thank you love for sharing you be sure to go and see him with the same determination. It was a food for thought on this sunday morning.

He&me · #14 07-10-2012, 07:34 AM

I feel with you, the only one thing I can tell you is, take every moment you can to spend with him, laugh with him and give all of you the best possible moments. And you can do it.
I understand the pain of not be able to hug, to not have a moment of normal body contact and its hard on both sides.
Life now with him and the hard time after, you will cry, miss him and just all that come with it.
I am so sorry.

Willove · #15 07-10-2012, 07:50 AM

This is so cruel and barbaric, not worthy of a civilized nation. I feel so angry, helpless and sad whenever an execution date is set. This is no other as a revenge, a cold blooded murder, without regard for many innocent people, that are as innocent as the genuine victim. It's a shame.

photoholic808 · #16 07-10-2012, 11:24 AM

I am so sorry for your pain.. I can't imagine, our prison systems disgust me..I find myself doing that often looking forward instead of in the moment so take a deep breathe and enjoy each day.. no telling what tomorrow may bring. sending Hugs and Prayers..

Sowa · #17 07-11-2012, 05:36 PM

My thoughts go for you and Anthony.

DougsCandy · #18 07-11-2012, 08:09 PM

Wow luv I am so sorry for your pain. My heart goes out to both you and Anthony. Sending positive vibes your way

DougsCandy Sent from my LG-P509 using PrisonTalk

RainyCola · #19 07-11-2012, 08:16 PM

Hugs to you, Anthony and all of his loved ones, hon. I know this is hard and we're all here for you.

DannyLeesGirl · #20 09-15-2012, 03:54 PM

Sweetie, we don't know each other as I am brand new here, but my heart goes out to you, Anthony and his family.

My guy is on death row in Terre Haute and is dealing with his last appeal now. I have to take things one day at a time because I cannot wrap my brain around the idea that he might be given a date. To me, it is not an option, even though I do know it is in the realm of possibilities.

I would want to be there not for me, but for him. I would want him to know as he left this world that he was loved and beloved and that he was not alone. But my heart would break most for his mother. I think it is so cruel not to allow her to touch her son one last time. In my guy's case, he has not been able to see his momma for 7 years because of her health, but she has not hugged him in 17 years.

I hope you will post updates and let us know how things are progressing.

Best wishes,
Aileen

Sheryl P. · #21 09-18-2012, 05:10 AM

I totally understand how you feel about not being able to hold him.
My loved one is in shu and the fact that we can't touch is so hard and that is even with knowing he will be home in not that many years.
I can't even imagine how hard this must be on you.
He knows in his heart that this is just a transition to a better place but no doubt he will be very sad to have to say good-by to his loved ones,if only for a time.
My huggs,prayers and best wishes go out to Anthony and all those who love him.
If you need to chat please feel free to p.m. me.I'm often online at night.

billysbutton · #22 09-18-2012, 11:41 AM

I'm so sorry and I know exactly how you feel and what your going through...if ever you need to talk PM me and we can chat...my thoughts and prayers will be with everyone.

Fallen_Angel915 · #23 10-08-2012, 04:02 AM

Hello, everyone...

Thank you for all of your kind words of support and encouragement. I visited Anthony this past weekend and he is doing well, considering the circumstances. He is grateful for his friends and family who have kept him going throughout this thing, and most of all, he has not lost hope. I ask that you all please continue to pray and/or send up positive thoughts for him, and if you haven't, please write to the Board and also to Governor Perry. This thing can still be stopped. Thank you.

Love to all,
Zan

Willove · #24 10-08-2012, 04:59 AM

I'll still pray for him and you and all of his family and friends. I've written to the board and the governor, hopefully it will help.

Love and hugs for you. Keep the faith!

SexyChef1 · #25 12-06-2012, 01:03 PM

I never thought I would know almost how you feel Im not in a relationship with William but he is my love, we have known each other since 7th grade...I love him and he now has a date and my heart is broken, I feel so selfish because the last time I talked to him he said if a miracle doesnt happen a Ill be either free or dead in 2 yrs...now here we are and Im whining and crying when my life isnt at stake...my prayers are with you and Anthony.