Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

lily_b · #1 07-23-2012, 01:37 PM

This is so ridiculous, but thought I'd ask before I spend all kinds of time I don't have searching. My boyfriend put me down as his emergency contact, he's never had a problem before. He was transferred and the counselor told him it has to be immediate family. I told him to tell her then put down our son but he's only 4 so you'll have to talk to his mother. WTF is wrong with these people and can they really do this? In terms of his immediate family, there are multiple people with alcohol and drug problems as well as learning disabilities which leaves them pretty unreliable and hard to contact.

mandarose · #2 07-23-2012, 02:12 PM

Sounds pretty silly to me.. because not everyone has an immediate family member they rely on or some have no relationship with em.. so crazy they would say/do that!
I'm not married to my man and I been emergency contact no matter where he's been at

juss me6 · #3 07-23-2012, 03:45 PM

My boyfriend put me down and there was no problem at all.

lily_b · #4 07-23-2012, 05:13 PM

That's what I thought- he's always had me before as well wth no problems. The counselor said something about if we have a fight- like that couldn't happen if we were married? Come on. So who do I call about this nonsense? He already put a slip in telling them they need to change it to me.

juss me6 · #5 07-23-2012, 05:33 PM

I have no clue.

Momma Ann · #6 07-23-2012, 05:47 PM

likely a concern over HIPPA--medical privacy rights.

HisHeart31 · #7 07-23-2012, 06:04 PM

My man is in a NYS prison, we are not married and do not have kids together and I am his emergency contact. His counselor had him fill out a few forms that he had to sign giving me permission to call either the prison or Albany to discuss anything pertaining to him while he's locked up. I think your man may be getting incorrect info from his counselor.

lily_b · #8 07-23-2012, 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Momma Ann

likely a concern over HIPPA--medical privacy rights.

Privileged healthcare information cannot be released to a spouse without permission, so that argument does not hold any water. They would need a specific HIPAA release. Privileged healthcare information can only be shared with the parent of a minor child without permission- and even then, it doesn't have to be if the healthcare provider has reason to believe that it would compromise the safety of the minor child. But I do appreciate the insight into the stupid excuses these people use.

Probably a concern over my boyfriend remembering he is a human being. Words cannot express how much I loathe these people.

Irish Girl · #9 07-23-2012, 08:02 PM

I agree with the post above that the correction counselor is giving you misinformation, perhaps because the counselor misunderstands. Before I was married, for years I was his emergency contact. When he went to the hospital I was notified. Doesn't mean anyone discussed his medical condition with me, but I was notified that he was admitted into a hospital. Also, just so you know, if they are not admitted such as if they are treated through the emergency room or are just taken to a hospital for testing but not admitted, even if they sleep in the emergency room over night, that does not count as admitted and therefore DOCS does not need to notify the emergency contact if he's not admitted.

lily_b · #10 07-25-2012, 06:55 AM

Heh, if anyone is still following this, it gets better. Her went to an orientation on Monday where they were told they couldn't use their girlfriends OR THEIR WIVES as an emergency contact. The reason: because these women aren't going to stick by them. WTF is wrong with these people?????? He wrote his counselor and told her it has to be me, his "blood relatives" are unreliable. We'll see what happens.

ciaobella22 · #11 07-25-2012, 07:08 AM

what facility is he at?

lily_b · #12 07-25-2012, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ciaobella22

what facility is he at?

He's at Gowanda, where apparently the more ridiculous, the better. This cannot be over soon enough, it was bad enough when he was somewhere where they were following the actual rules rather than ones they made up.

mandarose · #13 07-25-2012, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lily_b

Heh, if anyone is still following this, it gets better. Her went to an orientation on Monday where they were told they couldn't use their girlfriends OR THEIR WIVES as an emergency contact. The reason: because these women aren't going to stick by them. WTF is wrong with these people?????? He wrote his counselor and told her it has to be me, his "blood relatives" are unreliable. We'll see what happens.

Wow! Smh..
Idk why they think its okay to tell these men we wont stick by them! Ugh just rude and uncalled for

lily_b · #14 07-26-2012, 08:00 AM

Honestly? It's because we let them. They don't have a voice and many of them don't have an advocate who can navigate the system, so nobody says anything when they are regularly treated like they are less than human. I have found that I have to get past keeping his location a secret and really tell everybody I can how effed up the system really is, from start to finish. It's terrible.

My concern is that they are telling these guys this and it will just cause drama when they do get home and the drama will make it less likely that they will succeed when they are released. It feels like they want them to fail.

Ugh, I really have to leave for work now. One more perk of forced single parenthood, lol.