Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

kellsman1 · #26 08-12-2012, 01:17 AM

I married my husband in jail and it was kind of sad because I wanted everyone that meant something to me be there. His mom and sister was there and one of my daughters. I enjoyed preparing for my wedding just like a happy bride should, but the hardest part seem to be waiting on my honeymoon to come.

dmoneyswife · #27 08-12-2012, 02:31 AM

My husband had his mother buy my ring and she gave me his grandmother's ring, which looks masculine, so I wear them both until I can give him his. But whatever works...

I have been breaking the news to some, but not all, even though it was in the paper because he has a high profile case...ohh well...lol

I am not ashamed of him, or us, just some people can be ignorant and judgemental.

All things considered, our wedding was so beautiful...it didn't seem like we were "inside" at all...I have never seen a man glow until that day...He is truly Heaven Sent...

(sorry I got carried away with the smiles...I just discovered them...lol)

BOSSFREE310 · #28 10-10-2012, 04:23 PM

I just chose to tell my few important ones that matter most. Who's been there. So that left my mom and bestfriend that I call my sis. I am going to tell my younger sis when its finalized with the packet and date. Other than that everyone else doesn't need to know because I don't care for their opinions or views which most would be negative. I have a short temper so no need. Lol. They will know wjen theu know. Doesn't matter to me. I could careless and not worried about thoughts when they do because they wont tell me anyway to face.

GraceNhope26 · #29 10-27-2012, 04:49 AM

We have talked a lot about getting engaged, and it makes me sad and angry b/c I feel like everyone will make it seem like its not as special or important as an engagement with a free man. I will buy my own ring but he said he will tell me what he wants me to pick out and I want him to buy a "real one" when he gets out. I will tell people I am close with and if ppl ask b/c they see my ring I will share the news. I love him and he loves me, we want to spend our lives together and that's the whole meaning behind getting engaged/married! We will wait til he get out to get married.

dmoneyswife · #30 10-27-2012, 05:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GraceNhope26

We have talked a lot about getting engaged, and it makes me sad and angry b/c I feel like everyone will make it seem like its not as special or important as an engagement with a free man. I will buy my own ring but he said he will tell me what he wants me to pick out and I want him to buy a "real one" when he gets out. I will tell people I am close with and if ppl ask b/c they see my ring I will share the news. I love him and he loves me, we want to spend our lives together and that's the whole meaning behind getting engaged/married! We will wait til he get out to get married.

Good Morning Gracenhope,
Interesting you said people will see it as less important, I was in school recently and a class mate asked if I'm married, I said yes, but he's incarcerated and she said, oh that doesn't count. I'm not sure what look I gave her but she walked away quickly lol you just keep God in the center and all will be fine. My husband had his mom buy my ring so I wouldn't have to although she's so evil and disrespectful to me that I'm thinking about paying her for it because she tends to bring it up like she did some great deed like save all mankind from some horrific disease lol bless you and remember keep God in the center.❤

GraceNhope26 · #31 10-27-2012, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dmoneyswife

Good Morning Gracenhope,
Interesting you said people will see it as less important, I was in school recently and a class mate asked if I'm married, I said yes, but he's incarcerated and she said, oh that doesn't count. I'm not sure what look I gave her but she walked away quickly lol you just keep God in the center and all will be fine. My husband had his mom buy my ring so I wouldn't have to although she's so evil and disrespectful to me that I'm thinking about paying her for it because she tends to bring it up like she did some great deed like save all mankind from some horrific disease lol bless you and remember keep God in the center.❤

And its amazing but ppl have the "balls" to come right out to our faces and say "that doesn't count". If they would put themselves in our shoes for 5 sec they could see how horrible hard it is to have our men locked away from us. How yes we go home alone night after night with love in our heart and hope for the day they are free but we have feelings and when ppl just blurt out negative garbage, don't they even care to see the pain we are going thru all while loving our men deeply... to the outside world its like a relationship that "doesn't count" WOWWWWW. Such stigmas. This life def has its heartwrenching obstacles. And Pto and God are what get me through!

SOLin · #32 10-28-2012, 09:04 PM

He asked me for a second time while he was in, I took pictures of rings I liked and he picked out which one. I didn't tell many people, I didn't want to hear the judgement. We got married last week. :-) When I told my dad, he hung up on me... <sigh> some of my friends have been supportive, others have let me know EXACTLY how they feel. It's incredibly hard because he isn't here with me to face the criticism.

GraceNhope26 · #33 10-28-2012, 10:22 PM

Congrats on getting married! Love is beautiful and don't let anyone piss on your happiness! We all deserve love and others seek it and we are lucky to have found it! Best of luck in your marriage

DJzGirl · #34 10-28-2012, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOLin

He asked me for a second time while he was in, I took pictures of rings I liked and he picked out which one. I didn't tell many people, I didn't want to hear the judgement. We got married last week. :-) When I told my dad, he hung up on me... <sigh> some of my friends have been supportive, others have let me know EXACTLY how they feel. It's incredibly hard because he isn't here with me to face the criticism.

Congratulations! It is so hard. I don't tell many ppl. And when I am on PTO it is so nice to be able to be open about it. It makes me forget that when I am not here most people will judge. I have been watching Prison Wives on Netflix. ON the first episode, the wife said that ppl think prison wives are weak and desperate. But that, in fact, it takes a strong woman to survive such a life. I liked hearing what she had to say. So contrary to popular belief.

SOLin · #35 10-29-2012, 10:20 AM

Thank you! Yes I'm so lucky to have married my best friend. I like being on here and talking with other people who know kinda what I'm going through! :-) I might have to watch Prison Wives. When I find time. Just bought a house, raising the boys on my own and have my own business.... It would be nice if he was here with me to help out. However it's a learning lesson for both of us! Yesterday I installed a dishwasher with my 13 year old son. I was so super proud of myself and him for figuring it out and getting it done. :-)

ladii_luck · #36 10-29-2012, 10:52 PM

Well unfortunately, I had been keeping it from my mom because I know how she feels and then she ended up finding out. I wish I had just outright told her because she was more hurt that I didn't tell her. I told my sister, brother, and my closest friends. I just came out and told them about how he asked me, that I said yes, and that we'll be having a wedding while he is still there, and they are all actually really excited for me (except my mom). As for the rings, I just bought his today and his aunt is buying mine - she loves me to death and wants me to have the ring I want and knows if her nephew was home, he'd do it himself.

DJzGirl · #37 10-31-2012, 02:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SOLin

Thank you! Yes I'm so lucky to have married my best friend. I like being on here and talking with other people who know kinda what I'm going through! :-) I might have to watch Prison Wives. When I find time. Just bought a house, raising the boys on my own and have my own business.... It would be nice if he was here with me to help out. However it's a learning lesson for both of us! Yesterday I installed a dishwasher with my 13 year old son. I was so super proud of myself and him for figuring it out and getting it done. :-)

I suggest everyone watch Prison Wives. LOL. I wish I had an irl support group like this one. Good for you on the dishwasher. We just went through Hurricane Sandy and I felt proud of myself that I kept my kids safe all by myself.

KikiAtkinson · #38 04-23-2013, 11:27 AM

My man and I got engaged on December 8, 2013. He had asked me to marry him on a visit, he got down on one knee in front of everyone and proposed. Of course I said yes because I am madly in love with this man. We are to be married and Kinross in Michigan on May 9th 2013. I'm so excited!! All the paperwork and steps to getting the marriage arranged have been taken care of so its all a matter of waiting for that special day!!

KikiAtkinson · #39 04-23-2013, 11:34 AM

I had told the few people that mattered to me, some weren't so positive about it, but the more I heard the negativity I was pretty much saying f it, lol I didn't care what anyone said, I love this man and I'm in love with him, and I'm going to get married with or without anyone's approval, yes it kind of upsets me that some aren't as supportive as others but hey if you spend your life worrying about what everyone thinks your not going to get very far.

So when we get married my mother will be there and my oldest son. His family supports us getting married but aren't able to attend the ceremony at this point. But I am happy either way!

Gracie70 · #40 04-23-2013, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by dclady4evr14

Thanks 4 ur response... I'm just feeling like our relationship hasn't really been normal it's totally different I want to purchase my ring and he wants me too & he will purchase my band and his when he gets home like I'm ok wit it but yet I do feel a little weird lol I haven't cared what others thought so far so I guess I should continue to do me....people gonna talk regardless!

Mike wrote me a letter with my last name changed to his...asked me what I thought and that he liked it. So he has not asked but he is shy and Oh heck yeah I will marry him! As long as we love each other thats all that matters. Like you said people gonna talk...yeah I love to be their topic! Just means I mean more to them than others! I wont buy my ring that is something we will do when and if we marry, and when he comes home. We have one life to live and God don't make mistakes, he leads us where we are suposed to be. God Bless you!

Grad0507 · #41 04-23-2013, 12:46 PM

This is somewhat similar to the thread I started here: http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/sho...d.php?t=639407

2Makes1 · #42 04-23-2013, 02:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DJzGirl

How did you tell your son? I have kids from my marriage. I am not sure how I would tell them. I worry more about telling my mom.

My sons are 15 and 18. The older one loves my guy and was happy to learn we were getting married. The younger one is very close to his dad (my ex) and feels like me re-marrying is a betrayal. He still harbors a fantasy that we'll get back together even thought his father is RE-MARRIED! I told them each individually. It seemed easier that way.

As far as a ring is concerned, my guy's mother gave me a ring that had belonged to his grandmother. So, it's one that's been in the family. That meant so much to me!

And as far as telling people, most of the people in my circle know my situation and either never judged me or let it go a long time ago. When it comes to telling new people, I start with info about him and leave out that he is in prison. I don't feel like I have to lead with that. Our relationship is so much more than that. They'll find out eventually and usually by then, they think he's pretty great from the stories I've shared.

MayaDK · #43 04-28-2013, 01:19 AM

About the rings...

If you don´t like picking the ring, why don´t you find 5-10 different rings and take a picture of it, and let HIM choose? I know it´s not "the real deal" as you have to go buy it yourself, but it´s as close to it as you can get.

It´ll make him feel part of the "process" too...

/Maya

cancercaprilove · #44 05-24-2013, 02:19 PM

well in my situation im engaged to my baby and i dont have a ring.... he asked me if i wanted one and i said ill wait til we get married this august... soooo, his godfather is going to get my wedding ring of my choice and i already ordered for his... im excited and nervous all together. i think once i got the marriage license in my hand thats when the reality of it all hit lol.... but to be honest, this is my FIRST prison relationship so its akward but at same time im not marrying a stranger im marrying my childhood friend that i just reconnected with.. for 3 years now, we have been building one of the best friendships ever.. so for people to give me their 2 cents i dont pay it no mind because at the end of the day, when u take a shit its what u eat NOT them... people have the image of all inmates being negative people/scammers or whatnot but thats not the case. let them live and learn their mistakes. i love my baby and we are sentenced for life!!!

Aquarianik · #45 05-24-2013, 02:39 PM

We talked about getting married before he comes home but havent decided yet. I live in Vegas so its nuthin to get married here. I've done the whole big family, big wedding thing already. After you spend all that money...& it crumbles you're like WTF?! So, now 9 years later..i find myself in love and ready to take on the world with a man inside. I have four sisters..they wouldn't understand. Definitely, not telling mom til afterwards (preachers daughter). We cant help who we love. If God can forgive us then our men deserve that chance unless they blow it too..right?
As far as our date goes, kinda trying to see how things go after this next transfer. Umm, for rings we talked about getting ring tattoos but, its all material. Im just happy i have found someone i can be myself with & love.