Positive People in your life...

[JuliannRN]

I have had to stop reading certain forums here because the negativity is just terrible.. People feel the system has done their loved one wrong and are out to say that EVERYONE ELSE is going to be treated the same way..

Well the women and men in this forum are so positive. Even on the worst day the people in the forum are there to lend a hand, ear, shoulder and offer a smile. I really thank god for this forum on a daily basis... Especially when court is looming like it is monday. I have been reading many threads today and they really have helped me see that it is OK!!!
Thanks everyone!

[LoyalMom]

I only visit the Texas forum about the state jail my son is in. I don't know what is said or what the other forums are about BUT I must say THIS forum is the best! This forum has been a life saver for me, in many, many ways! I honestly think I would have gone crazy if I hadn't found this site and this forum. Strangers who have a common bond, lifting each other up and encouraging each other in every way - it is simply wonderful. The Moms and Ladies on here gives us all hope and support that we all desperately need. Because we all share a common bond and can relate to each other. Moms are just that way, LOL.

[socal729]

I agree with LoyalMom and JuliannRN regarding this forum.
I visit the forum of the facility where my son is in California and I find there are less parents on that forum and mostly girlfriends and friends.
It is a whole different perspective for parents. It is great to read so many parents with the same sentiments that I have - who prior to now thought I was all alone in this. When you find your son in a situation such as this one, and he's in a very vulnerable position. It is your responsibility to see that he has support mentally, emotionally, and spiritually most and far most. Look around the room, everyone has left, there is no one but you. This is your son!

We should not consider age, gender, circumstance, or expect for anyone else to step up to the plate. He is a part of us. He was our responsibility then when he could not take care of himself, and he's our responsibility now. Something inside us automatically steps into the role of caretaker. We step in front of the line ahead of everyone else. No other can do it like their mother. It's done with tender loving care. It's done to perfection and very carefully. We assume the responsibility because of our love.

[klw9653]

I hardly ever visit my state's forum, mainly cuz no one's ever on it! I usually just visit this one and LASO. I'd have to say, both of these forums offer a lot of support.

[1bird2]

Yep....we ARE MOMS....and dads too. I've always heard that Moms are the HEART of the home....and I am a believer!!! Where else can you pour your heart out to such compassionate, loving souls who UNDERSTANDS all that this journey entails?! I know I have been blessed beyond words to have found this safe haven made up of beautiful, hurting, helping people who I have come to love as family.
I visit a few of the other forums....but PWCIP is truly the HEART!
SOOOO.....Monday is court day? You KNOW we'll all be praying for you, your family and your son....and we'll start RIGHT NOW!
You have really been such a great support to all of us....and we are thankful to have you!
Love and prayers,
XXOO

[JuliannRN]

Yes trial Monday on the new charge. We tried to reach a plea but they want to give five more years. Not on something that is his word against hers. She never went to the Dr and didn't go to the police for a full two years. I'm willing to go to trial with this since there is nothing and she continued to call and date him after the alleged rape. And call me and him. I will not let him admit to something he did not do again.

[bluebella]

Monday Yea!! Will be looking forward to your post!! Best of luck with you and your family. I know your on to something here, it is going to be OK!

[xanthra]

Not much support from church friends but I have to post that the two correction officers who work Visitation at my son's prison are THE BEST. It is not a fun place to go, the lines are long and slow. But once I get to the frisk down and walk through security the man and woman on duty every time I visit are so joyful!

I'm not whistling Dixie to get frisked but this woman makes it easy and not so embarassing. The guy is always happy and cheering up the kids in line. It makes me want to take them chocolates at Christmas time but I think that is illegal. Who knew such nice upbeat people would be part of my life visiting my son!

[RaRi]

I'm glad to hear your son is fighting this new charge! Sounds like he will be able to beat it! Your son is lucky to have you for his mom.
I agree 100% about the love and support we all get here in THIS forum. I check in our States forum too but there is a big difference in the ties that bind us to each other here. There is no love like a parents love. The kind of parent that reaches out for help and understanding during life altering changes is a strong parent (in my eyes) because we knew enough to look for help. It's helped knowing what the different prisons are like and what not to wear during visits etc but the emotional support is worth far more than words can ever express. We are stronger because we are united. It helps and is a true Blessing.

[JuliannRN]

This is the worst weekend... My son is considering taking a plea that was offered... He is scared of facibg 20 more years when a plea would offer an additional two years max... God what a decision...

[dbd335]

JulianRN - I so understand how scary it is to be at the mercy of our sometimes seemingly unjust justice system - i'm praying for your son as he makes this decision - and praying for you as you hold your precious son in your heart -

[missGeo]

Thanks JuliannRN, I hope I wasn't the one that shouted off. I do get pretty PO'd about this whole situation and I am new to this forum. This one and Michigan are the forums I have been reading. Your story sounds eerily familiar, Same girl? Same charges?

Left with the decision to go to trial or take the plea. They made the plea so good that
it wasn't worth the risk of losing at a trial. The decision was made after I had to sit and
listen to the crap at the preliminary. God help you and your son make the best decision.

[szcunane]

I'll be praying for your son - -that he makes the right decision and that everything works out okay. It never is what we want - -but I hope it isn't too long.

and I agree this forum is a blessing - I love knowing that there are people who understand, don't judge and really care. You're all pretty special!

[sleepless in Tu]

I am sorry to hear that once again someone has to consider taking a plea for something that did not happen in any way close to what the charge is.I can't imagine how the girl could live with herself knowing she did something like that.Today is Monday and my thoughts are with your son.I pray there is some kind of delay and the girl changes her mind.Sometimes the State takes over and once someone starts that type of proceeding there is no easy end,so wrong!We will be waiting to hear of the outcome,many prayers.

[JuliannRN]

I could not be more proud of my son.... Yes we were prepared to fight.. HOWEVER the fear came with the jury... If his previous recent conviction for sex crimes came out he was sunk.. 20 year sentence and registration as the highest level sex offender for LIFE... well the judge was nice enough to let me sit in with the lawyer while they were talking about this and there was a deputy in there who was the kindest man ever... And they offered a plea. The MAX on the plea is 10 more years HOWEVER the sex offender registration is the lowest tier for 15 years. The lawyer and the prosecutor are asking the judge for leniancy in sentencing because the victim said she did not want him to do 10 years in prison. (HELLO B**CH WHY ARE WE HERE THEN???) so he made the decision to take the plea. The deputy explained to him how many people are needlessly arrested every day for failing to register with the lifetime requirements and that it is a felony with up to 5 years in prison... THEN he allowed my daughter, who is 13 and has not seen her brother since may to come in and he even took the cuffs off so they could hug each other... he then wiped his tears and decided to plea. He did not want to risk missing his sister graduate. We are all hopeful that he will be out to see her graduate in 5 years. She is going to write to the judge.
The deputy even cried when they hugged each other... It was a very surreal moment. I do think we could have won this in court HOWEVER the previous, recent conviction scared me. And lets face it, as humans we are curious, if I was a juror, I would have had to come home and look up his past crimes.. and judging as society does, i would have looked at him as guilty...
Now we have to go back on 9/10 for sentencing... Do you all think letters to the judge on his behalf help in any way?

[1bird2]

Oh wow Jullian, I've been thinking of you all night!! I'm so sorry that it has come to this...like it has to most of us at some point....the system has taken on a life of it's own...and it is an ugly evil reality. I hate this for you and your son.
I'm thankful that you witnessed compassion from the deputy...there are MANY people who are part of the system that see the system for what it is....and don't like it any better than we do.
I do believe the letters make a difference...I know they have a major impact in the federal system....and I have to believe they will help your son. I would get as many as possible....
There is a thread here on PTO that gives you examples of the most effective letters ... do the search ... it will give you the "do" and "don't" issues.
I'm so sorry that it is what it is...because it is WRONG.....and continues to happen everyday in every courtroom. The fear of the risk of a trial is great....
You know we'll be praying....and I know how easy it is to grow weary through all the "hurry up and waits" that this life of ours requires, while trying to be thankful for the lessors of two evils..
I know what a worker you are....and I know you'll be on those letters!!
Keep us posted.
Love and prayers,
XXOO

[missGeo]

So sad. I think a letter from his little sister would be very compelling. I hope he is
home to see her graduate also. My prayers are with you. There is definitely something
wrong with this system.

[KazInCdn]

Julian; I hear you! My son was also accused of a sex crime. While he still maintains his innocence he took a plea agreement as well. He's sentencing is 8/27. If found guilty the min. was a life sentence. The plea was 15 to life...he just didnt want to gamble on the min. of life. His lawyer said he couldnt win at trial because he confessed after several hours of sleep deprivation and yelling at him.

While it is a hard choice to plea to something you didnt do, I very much understand why your son made that choice. It took me 2 months to come to grips with it, now I have handed it off to God....my son is now in his hands and I can do no more other than support him (spirtual and monetary) for the next 15+ years.

My thoughts and prayers are with you,
Kaz

[JuliannRN]

We could have won at trial but the prior case would have killed him... Do I want to think he could do 10 more years? Not at all... I am praying that the judge go leniant. She knew that this case was bullshit and agreed to sentence him concurrently to the 34 month he is already doing.. And the victim is going to make a statement asking for her to be leniant. I hope she listens... she recently sentenced someone to 6 months in county jail for theft... when he walked out of the courtroom he spit on her... she only added 4 more months.. So I am praying that she is still leniant with us...

[auntieshay]

Praying for leniency from the Judge, peace to you and your son, and daughter.

[klw9653]

Ditto to what auntieshay said.