Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

slycanyon1194 · #1 08-13-2012, 12:26 AM

So I just found out that the guy I have been writing for five months (found on a gay pen pal site) now had a girlfriend that posted on here some years back. He wanted pics of my feet in pantyhose with toes painted and wants me to takes some more in high heels dipping my feet in high heels. He has only seen one pic of me(face) and he liked very much, but wants tons of my feet. He is having to do some time now in the state he absconded from. He did write me and tell me that he thinks women’s feet are still sexy. He never asked for money until he was taken to his home state. Now he wants $300.00 I told him I found out about this. He said his Mother put him on a prison pen pal site and that the girl was a stalker. And I was just digging up things. Question? Is he str8 or just scared to come out of the closet? I have 58 letters a rose he sent and even pics of he and his family. This guy is gorgeous and If I go even a day not answering his calls he is frantic. Am I in a fools paradise or just and idiot on a stick sprinkled with stupid? HELP! Ps I am 54 he is 27

pookiepoo · #2 08-13-2012, 11:21 AM

I kinda know how you feel my girl was also found on a penpal site and it said she was bi and i told her i try to stay away from bi girls so then she started saying about a week later she is lesbian i think she just wanted me to give her a chance which i would have either way! I was scared maybe she was using me in the beginning because of this but she has never asked for anything but my love. Maybe he is bi or a user or maybe he is just confused give it time but be careful

slycanyon1194 · #3 08-13-2012, 11:50 AM

He did get upset that he thought I was digging.There are so many rights but so many wrongs.I think I will lay low and see what he does.After all I have to take care of me first.

CenTexLyn · #4 08-13-2012, 07:14 PM

Only you can make the call on whether he is playing you or not. And the reality is that there are some who try to find people through the pen-pal sites that are looking for nothing more than someone to give a good story to and get the occasional letter and some money out of, and then they are on to the next victim. I've seen it a LOT with the female offenders, some of whom have gotten married more than once to pen-pals they had also persuaded to pay large legal fees (one client got upset when our materials had divulged the fact that she was still married to someone else and she hadn't told the current benefactor that she hadn't gotten divorced yet- we got her released and she is now back in and doing the same thing).

But gay and lesbian offenders are not immune from playing the games that others have been playing for years. And those who get hooked up through pen-pal sites are sometimes looking for something that won't ever exist in terms of the relationship.

I am seeing a fair number of red flags here, but it is ultimately you that has to make the call and/or learn for yourself. As digital kiss stated so aptly...give it time but be careful. And I would add the word 'extremely' before careful...especially with a sizeable (relatively speaking) request for money so soon in the correspondence.

Scott · #5 08-14-2012, 11:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by slycanyon1194

This guy is gorgeous and If I go even a day not answering his calls he is frantic. Am I in a fools paradise or just and idiot on a stick sprinkled with stupid? HELP! Ps I am 54 he is 27

Ok... Pleeeze... are you seriously asking this or is it more rhetorical?

Enjoy the fantasy - pay what you're willing to pay towards it, don't pay what you're not. Don't be making wedding plans or expect a life together.

54/27?? Uh huh.... SNAP!

Of course he's "frantic" if you don't answer his calls. He might be losing out on a good thing. And of course you should do some digging to find out what the straight (no pun intended) scoop is.

Just have fun with it all, don't take it seriously... because it's not. And, deep down, regardless of what you might wish for - you know that.

The foot fetish is a bit kinky, but not totally unusual. He may be making some money selling those photos. I have a couple of buddies inside who were into that...

There's not a reason in the world you can't create a little fantasy world around all of this and have a blast with it. Just be reasonable (and realistic) in your expectations. If you feel hurt at some point, you know who's REALLY at fault. Right?

And finally - Straight/Gay isn't an either/or thing. It's a continuum. I'm guessing you've been around long enough to know that too... "confused" is somewhere in the middle, along with "conveniently whatEVER"...

Scott

slycanyon1194 · #6 11-08-2012, 10:38 PM

Well guys,$1800.00 later+books,subscriptions,$160.00 in secure-packs,$300.00 in phone calls $700.00 for a parole lawyer in Michigan,$500.00 worth of clothes hanging in the closet as we speak,an $800.00 gym fitness membership,$300.00 in phone and accessories,guitar,TV,clothes,shoes.....on and on not to mention the $500.00 motel suite I rented back in July when we thought he was coming home here in Texas but Michigan picked him up....Funny thing is he stood in front of the Michigan Parole board and his Lawyer vouched for him in a phone call to me that he wanted to Parole here and had told me last week that he wanted to give me his POWER of Attorney yet I found him(the guy he is calling and writing) today on a blog writing another guy saying he wanted a long term relationship and he loved him.They have been talking since Oct the same week my best friend died and he knew it.lets just say thank god for google and KARMA...They go hand and hand.It is a cruel world out there...Big lesson learned. psss...I could be so so vindictive here because I have all of his family's addresses.And he is not OUT to them at all. Scott-"If you feel hurt at some point, you know who's REALLY at fault. Right?"(as I hang my head) You just walk away! I'm going on a long trip.I deserve it.I just hope nothing happens to anyone like it has me.Peace and love to everyone.

Kentucky73 · #7 12-08-2012, 04:27 PM

I tend to agree with most of the people posting. It's a huge let down when we discover we might be getting played. Only you can make that call. I'll be honest & admit that the fantasy of it is much better than reality. If he's really gorgeous, he can have his pick of guys/girls his age. Unless you're smoking hot yourself, I would tend to think he's using you for whatever he can get. Large age gaps are seen from time to time out in the free world, but they really aren't all that common (unless money is involved). I think you know that it's likely you are being used. You are paying for the fantasy. When the money dries up, so does the fantasy. I'll soon be 40. I'm average looking at best. I couldn't tell you the # of young, hot looking inmate penpals that have professed their undying love......about 2 letters before they start asking for their "weekly allowance". If the money doesn't come, they stop writing & I never hear from them again. There has never been an exception to this scenario in my experience. As with most things in life, you get what you pay for. My rule is that I never send money. Period. I think it's time you move on to the next hottie & let a new fantasy begin! Have fun but don't get burned! If he truly is into you, he will understand when you tell him you won't send money but would like to continue getting to know him. If he disappears, you'll know the reason. It has nothing to do with you checking out his story.