Notice to new members intending to register - from January 9th 2012

prous mommy · #1 02-28-2012, 12:35 PM

there r no restraining orders so i just wanted to know if i can still visit him or if they wont let me because we had a dv case someone help

nimuay · #2 02-28-2012, 01:14 PM

No, you can't visit. They want you to take a break, empty your life of the evil/sadness and get yourself back on an even keel.

KMarieKing · #3 03-01-2012, 07:21 AM

After I had the order of protection dropped I was able to go visit him in jail, but that was while he was still waiting for the case to go to trial. They didn't give me a hard time at all, but it may depend on whether it's pre- or post-conviction. Looking back I probably should not have gone; I agree with Nimuay, taking a break is probably a good idea.

Sheryl P. · #4 03-01-2012, 07:29 AM

You said had a case,was it against you? Is this another case?
Usually,you can not visit if you were the party who was injured.
It is a good idea to get some help ,like was already suggested.

Amy213 · #5 03-06-2012, 11:24 AM

I recently visited my abusier in jail pre & post trail. He was recently convicted & still plan on visiting.

Sent from Amy213
using PrisonTalk

**Nieves915** · #6 05-06-2012, 09:10 AM

Actually I did visit the entire 3 years my abuser was in prison. it was contact visits too........ there was no protective order in place and i was def the victim..

**LeBeau** · #7 05-06-2012, 09:35 AM

California seldom allows it, whether or not a PO is in place.
The CDCr has the authority to regulate visits, even from spouses, if they have any cause at all to believe it's a bad idea and visits between an abuser and the victim of the abuse are widely considered a security risk and a liability issue.

InmateLover67 · #8 05-06-2012, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by prous mommy

there r no restraining orders so i just wanted to know if i can still visit him or if they wont let me because we had a dv case someone help

I am assuming there is a no contact order issued by the courts...not the same as a restraining order.

Peace~

MrsC1231 · #9 05-06-2012, 09:42 AM

My ex was on parole when he committed the crimes against me and when he went to the state prison, the parole board took my name off his list until he completed a batter's class and anger management. I never tried to get put back on because alot happened in that time.

mouseandneo · #10 08-13-2012, 06:02 PM

just heard from my mother inlaw that my husband wrote her a letter saying that he couldn't write, call or see me anymore because of the DV charge he pled to. There is NO restraining order or no no contact order in place, as at my husbands court hearing I spoke to the judge and she read his mental health providers reports and she denied the DA's request fro either of them as she felt it was not necessary in our case as my husband had pled to the DV charge and she had got to see the diffrence of my husband while off his meds and while on his bi polar meds. He picked up the charge after his Dr took him off his meds.

mouseandneo · #11 08-13-2012, 06:13 PM

Sorry my computer just booted me off before i could finish. My husband went to wasco may 2012 and was writing me 3-4 times a week until recently. And then he sent this letter to his mom. I'm confused. We visited in county and been writing since he left in May. why all of sudden now cant he write me?? He didnt touch me he kicked in my door while self medicating from being off his meds. Caqn I appeal this or should I just wait until he is mainlined, as I spoke to his councilor today and he told me he would get him in this week and he would be transfered by next week. And that he would tell him where hes going so he could write me. So now Im really confused!! help me understand this disaster. We have been married 6 years this month and have a 3 year old together. He is NOT abusive towards me. He does act dumb and irrational when off his meds, but I can live with that. Can I appeal this policy?? maybe appeal it and present the court documents supporting my appeal with the judges comments and rulings??

nimuay · #12 08-13-2012, 06:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mouseandneo

He is NOT abusive towards me. He does act dumb and irrational when off his meds, but I can live with that. Can I appeal this policy?? maybe appeal it and present the court documents supporting my appeal with the judges comments and rulings??

Hon, you have to realize that all of you are suffering from his failure to stay on his meds. His irrational behavior has put him in prison, has terrorized your child and frightened the hell out of you. Domestic violence isn't just hitting . . . it's all the verbal abuse, emotional abuse and other stuff that happened.

He also ended up in prison for more than kicking your door, so something isn't right there.

You have to try to educate yourself on what the appropriate actions of a husband/father should be, and if you really want the no-contact order lifted, then go to the DV center near you and go through some counseling. He will need to go through some programs inside, too. Then you go ask the warden about letting you visit. It well may take a while, but that's what you're going to have to do to get started.

mouseandneo · #13 08-14-2012, 11:52 PM

First he was on probation(( he had done 4 out of the 5 years. He had no problems during that time as he was on meds) and got violated and because of previous charges ( before he knew me) the DA was determined to try and get him on numerous charges. So he pled out. Second there is NO order for anything ( restraining order or no contact) the judge denied the DA request after reading my husbands mh records, speaking to me and getting to see my husband first hand off his meds and on his meds ( my husband kept asking for his meds from day one as he has a severe facial tick/ spasms from the abilify and had been immediately taken off it. Hence the no meds and breakdown that lead to this mess.) He never did anything to our child. I have worked in the mental health field for a few years and also with disabled children and adults, i am familar with many forms of abuse and attend regular support group meetings for love ones of addicts/alcoholics. My question was can they still tell him he can not contact me even though we have been in contact since he went in? Like i said there are NO orders of ANY kind saying that we can't. That's why im confused. I do have boundaries of what I feel is acceptable and not acceptable and i stick to them. He DID NOT voulantarly go off his meds, thats one reason i am still around. He had started new meds but they did not have time to kick in before he started self medicating and hence the door getting kicked in cops called and beibg violated and having to do suspended sentence from 2008 when he had a med change and yet again self medicated and got. In trouble. Thats the full story made very short. I knew when i married him 6 years ago he was bi polar and it would have its ups and downs until they found the right meds for him. Through sickness and in health i will stivk by him lkke i vowed. But I will leave if i feel threatened or in danger.

bumblebee37 · #14 08-15-2012, 12:07 AM

I know they have let you have contact with him while he is in prison (it's a controlled environment) but usually when they go up for parole there are special conditions added such as 'no contact with the victim'. These are usually written in and really hard to change until he has completed 52 weeks of domestic violence/anger management classes and they will violate him should he break that condition.