How did you decide you wanted a prison wedding?

[photoholic808]

How did you decide you wanted a prison wedding and why? What were the benefits as opposed to waiting? Were you allowed you to spend that night with your husband or do you always have to walk away? How soon do you get congical visits?

[DP's Girl]

I didn't decide I wanted a prison wedding, I definitely don't. But what I decided was I want to be his wife sooner rather than later. If that means doing it while he's inside so be it. I want to stand before God and declare my love for him. I want to acknowledge to the world that I love him and will always be by his side. I want him to know that I know he is the man for me whether out or in. Another reason, I live in Cali so we get conjugals ;-). But in all seriousness I know this is the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. So why wait? The cons are the night of our wedding I'll go home alone. We still won't get to live as husband and wife. We won't stand in our church in front of friends and family when we take our vows. But for me the pros outweigh the cons. A prison wedding is not for everyone but it's what I plan to do.

[photoholic808]

Have you already gotten married or you in the processes? How long after marriage do you get the congicals? I am struggling to decide.. he's got 7 years left and after marriage you have to wait 3 .. I am so overwhelmed with emotion we went from best friend to talking about spending our life together.. Congrats to you and your man .. shoot if I congicals right away we'd been married yesterday hahahaaha.. so I hear you... but really not just for the fun part but the closeness.. After your first night together do you think for a while it will make time go slower?

[DP's Girl]

No we haven't gotten married yet. I've heard it takes a few months after you're married to get your first conjugal. You have to get your marriage certificate from the county clerk, submit it, then wait for approval and an available time. I agree just being able to spend time alone in a situation closer to normal will be great. Waking up together, and watching tv, cooking together those things are important. I don't think it'll make time go slower because we'll still have regular visits at least once a month and you get a conjugal every 90 days. So we'll know after 3 or 4 regular visits we'll be able to lay in each others arm all night.

What do you mean after you get married you have to wait for 3?

[GabesWifeyBoo]

How did you decide you wanted a prison wedding and why? What were the benefits as opposed to waiting? Were you allowed you to spend that night with your husband or do you always have to walk away? How soon do you get congical visits?

Well actually, I don't "want" a prison wedding, but I realize this is the card we were dealt. I love him with all of my heart and I know our love is bigger than this prison term and stronger than the barbed wire fence that seperates us. We could wait until he's home, we've put off this marriage for 2 years out of the almost 4 he's been locked up. But it hit me one day, why wait? Basically I'm already doing this sentence with him, it's just he's on one side of the fence and I'm on the other side.Besides we can always renew our vows with a lavish outside wedding.Benefits: being his wife, being one with him, announcing to the world: I don't care where he is and what he has done, I love him and I'm gonna stick by him. And unfortunately Alabama doesn't allow conjucal visits . Good luck to you in your decision!!!

[photoholic808]

in Washington if you get married while in prison you have to wait 3 years for a congical.. not that what it is about..it's just overwhelming... I been in the prison system for years brother, cousin friends, I have just never been in these shoes. I started writing him after my cousin one of his best friends passed.. and I been writing him for 7 years and I have gone to see him a few times but that recently it went full force into our life together, I guess I am just on overload... Thanks everyone. Good luck DP you will have to keep us updated on your wedding, and Gabewife.. sorry no congicals.. thats got to be hard.. is he close where you can visit often..

[DP's Girl]

Wow you have to wait 3 years? That is tough but some wait 25 years without any hope of ever having a conjugal. That puts everything in perspective. I'm feeling pretty lucky right now . I will definitely keep everyone posted on the wedding progress. I was recently informed he's not happy because I haven't picked out my ring yet. I guess I'll get on that next week. Don't want to cause any problems and I've never needed an excuse to shop 

[he_is_missed]

deciding to marry him was never an issue (the damn fool introduced me as his future wife after two weeks! lol) but it was deciding WHEN to get married that was tough...family isn't exactly on our side and I've always wanted a big "wedding" but it's not the "wedding" that lasts forever but the "marriage" and sure I could find another man and have a relationship on the outside but it wouldnt be HIM. it's the view of some that marrying an inmate is "settling" but to me choosing to NOT marry the man I love (prison or not) would be settling with mediocre happiness! so we're tying the knot! paperwork has been sent in and were just waiting for our date! we're in Cali so we will get family visits and at his "home" well be eligible for a visit every 6-8 weeks. ours will take longer because he owes restitution so probably every 3 months but we are very grateful! and we have a daughter who's only known daddy through prison visits and it will be good for her (and me) to enjoy some private time with daddy <3

[MrsNBL]

I know exactly how you feel. I am in love with my man and whether he's out or in...does not change that. We recently decided that we don't want to wait either. He is due to be released in three years and we can have an all-out ceremony then. But his situation and where he is does not change the man he is too me and for me. I love him with all my heart and intend to be with him for the rest of my life. And that's what marriage is...a declaration before God and man, that you promise to love, honor, and cherish that person as long as you both shall live. Congratulations on your pending nuptials and may GOD bless your union!

[Sweet_Tee]

I didn't decide I wanted a prison wedding. We realized that we love each other so much that neither one of us would be complete without the other. As far as conjugal visits, his facility doesn't offer that. He has four years left so that means no nookie until he is a free man. That will make our 1st romp even more special because I won't be having sex with a guy but making love to my husband. I love me some him but what's even more important is the love I feel from him.

[dalesgirl]

How did you decide you wanted a prison wedding and why? What were the benefits as opposed to waiting? Were you allowed you to spend that night with your husband or do you always have to walk away? How soon do you get congical visits?

I didn't decide i wanted a prison wedding, but i want to marry my guy now not in 15 months so thats my only choice. I am marrying him because I love him but the one benefit is that he is much more likely to get to parole to me! Oregon doesn't have congicals so i'll be waiting till he come home (13 moths after the wedding).
I am going to have a mini reception at my house so I wont have to be alone that first night.
Inside or out, I am in this forever.

[OC Mari]

Awww I love reading all your posts because I know I'm not alone on my feelings about my man. I also never thought I would marry someone that was in prison or that I would get married in a Correctional Institution. But like some of you put it perfectly...it's not where you are it's about who you are with and marrying. I've known him since 1995 but never saw him in a lovey dovey way. He was incarcerated for many years, he reached out to me in 2009. By then, I had been in two serious relationships with a daughter. We started off as friends and always referred to each other as wife/husband. On Christmas Day 2010 his mom and I visited him and he proposed and we got married 9/24/11. Dispite of where we were at, that proposal was amazing because he expressed his love for me and he bought me my engagement ring. His mom and my daughter were his accomplists because he had already asked my daughter for my hand in marriage. The ceremony was very heart felt, he were allowed 10 visitors that day and two best men (his inmate buddies). Again, not what I ever planned for me but I knew he is the one...I'm doing the time so why wait? I'm in Cali so we did get a family visits and nothing is more rewarding than those two days to cook, watch tv and just be with each other unconditionally without interruption or people watching you. It's hard to walk away after your ceremony but knowing that there will be family visits keep us going. My family was not supportive but I did this for ME and my daughter. I rather wait for the love of my life that live with an abusive idiot. I encorage women to go with their feelings because that also gives our men stability, responsibilty and a family to come home to. More power to us ladies remember than no one can judge you because they've never walked in your shoes. I'm happily married, my hubby comes home in two months and our religious (BIG) wedding is in June 2013! <3

[HeismySun&Stars]

I am not concerned about the where as much as the when I love him deeply and I want to be his wife...now...not later. He will be home soon (God Willing) and I want him to come home to his family. Even if he were to be released tomorrow we still wouldn't have a big wedding it's just not us. If you would have asked if i would ever get involved let alone marry someone who had been incarcerated I would have bet money that I wouldn't. no way not me and now here I am loving this incredible man..whom I love so deeply and well...he's incarcerated...