Just found out my gf has a gf and is planning on leaving me.

[austintatious]

Originally Posted by DougsCandy

Honey if I were you I would file for custody. Just to be safe

DougsCandy Sent from my LG-P509 using PrisonTalk

I agree. I would think (depending on her what she did ) that her record would hurt her getting custody.
Also women would be more prone to take a "prison lover" then men would. The other girl is probably a port in a storm. I'd be more concerned that she wasn't up front with you . Once you start losing the trust......

[HardHeadedWoman]

check with legal services for your custody issues. If she says she is confused it means she is looking at her options and when she realizes she has none she will come right back with the "Im sorry and I love you". DShe isnt going to openly admit to using you to get back straight then moving on when the other girl gets released.

[dcrc50]

Give it time she might change her mind once shes back out and home.....

[jeffflorida]

File for custody and then at least you know you have protected that situation. Chances are she will not be into the other women once she gets out but right now she is weak and doesn't know what she's thinking. You deserve the best and you don't seem like you will abuse the power of your having custody. Protect yourself and the child - and confront her directly about the situation. She brings this on herself and has to learn to live with the consequences when people protect themselves against her. Trust me - as a man you will be in a weakened position with custody once she is out.

[a&jalways]

You can go and file custody - go to the courthouse and you can fill out the papers and you will be charged whatever amount to file the papers but it's worth it

You will be granted full custody due to her being incarcerated and your child has been in your custody.

[thisfamily]

Lawyer up.

She already made it clear to you where she stands. I mean, you guys have been together for 9 years.. obviously she has some co-dependency issues and she is just more blatant about it. That is stronger than her sense of loyalty to you as a partner. She is an adult and she could have chosen to not be involved sexually with someone else in prison. It goes beyond a Hall Pass at this point. It seems like she is lost to you.

If she is serious about getting you back, she needs counseling and to show effort... if you still want to work it out with her if she is true about it, that is. But her words would shake me to the core.. totally destroy that trust! I wouldn't trust her best friend's word - she might be secretly supporting her friend while sowing doubts within you. Leave that world be. It's just unnecessary right now and not good for your child.

Gay or not, if she is truly on the straight and narrow out of prison in a relationship with someone else with healthy boundaries.. you should respect her right as a mother to work out some custodial visitation, but that is still probably several years ahead of you.

[ReysBaby]

she's going through a confusing time--but you need to be strong for your kids regardless of what she's doing--do what you think is best for them while she's figuring things out

[sidewalker]

Just thought I'd mention this thread is pretty old.
So everything may be a mute point for the OP.
(not for anyone else reading it, but just thought I'd point out the thread is old and it looks like the OP's girlfriend/wife is out now like 7 months)